I’m not sure what you mean by sleep number but what comes to my mind is snoring and being too close. I’m a light sleeper but I also know that habits can change. Ultimately no, I don’t think it’s essential because it’s one of those things that can be worked out in a good relationship. It’s a minor issue when it’s the right person.

I meant to say Mingle, not POF. :) Ha-ha-ha.

That’s because the variety of reasons why people want to be in a relationship is huge.
The variety of individuals is huge.
The preference of these individuals is just as varied.
Only a fraction of a huge population is on POF.
And last, only a fraction of this population on POF lives in your area.

Considering all these factors, the low success rate in finding someone who is a compatible match is extremely reasonable. The fact that you are not able to find your match shows that you know what you want and are not willing to settle for much less and that you are serious about it. That’s a good thing.

"She will sees you as a child?" Nooooo. Really?

OMG, how many posts are you going to start on the same subject?!
I think "mature" is totally out of your league but than again what do I know.

I believe the best way to attract a woman is by not categorizing her or any individual for that matter. To do so is huge mistake. I always thought what makes an individual unique is that they are many things, they fit many hats, have multiple feelings, even all at the same time.

Just something to think about, OP.

I agree, not all men are the same just as not all women are the same.
Some men only want women to be as independent as is convenient for them. Not more or less.

I think many people (women and men) naturally want to be needed and/or taken care off. To some extend we all do and we are all not perfect. We all have some baggage. Unfortunately we don't learn in schools how to raise self awareness and examine how much of our expectations contribute to personal growth and how much of it is learned behavior and socially constructed identities that are getting in the way.

Some acquire tools later in life to define a healthy relationship for themselves, some struggle, some don't feel the need to get into it that deep.

This is more than obvious to me.


I’m a nice person but I’m not doing anything to encourage him to do something in particular. He is who he is. Was just giving the guy a chance and trying to get to know him with a bit of (okay, a lot of) distance.


Yes, yes, yes, it’s this extreme politeness or considerate behavior that I am not accustomed to and just because he doesn’t do it anymore because of my reaction to it doesn’t change anything. He says he was raised that way and he will try to change. I don’t want him to change. I want him to find a girl who appreciates him just the way he is.


Yes, he is nice, but if I was with him he would benefit from the relationship way more than I would. For me it would be more of a community service. LOL

Okay seriously, nice guy but obviously not "the one" for me.

Well, in case anyone is interested, he is really 40. I went out with him and saw his ID. But to me he is still 27. So I guess age really doesn’t matter in this case. My impression of him, the more I get to know him, is a naive country boy who has been living in a bubble and still leads a simple minded and sheltered life, though eager to learn from me and more than willing to change. I’m not comfortable in that role at all.

He kept walking to the left of me on the street and got up from his seat every time I got up to go somewhere. I asked him if he does that to his male friends too and he laughed saying no way. He is really into stereotypical gender roles and so old school to en extreme. This tradition thing is like a brand new language or culture to me that I only know vaguely from my parents generation. I can't relate to it at all.

Anyway, I just want everyone to know he is not a creep. Just not a right match.

I think you are misinformed. To make such an accusation is not cool at all. Do you have any verifiable source for this?

Great responses. As others already pointed out with different words, I too think anger itself is not a negative emotion. It only impacts our lives negatively when we us it against us and direct it to others instead of working with it to our advantage. Anger itself can be put to good use. Anger can be an inspiration to make changes in our own lives but only if we chose to work with it inwardly by focusing on ourselves instead of others.

People who are angry at the world are really bitter unhappy people. I paid attention to my own and other people’s behavior and noticed that people who are leading happy lives don’t get offended, annoyed, or angry easily. It takes them a lot more to get upset at things.
It is possible that these people need validation for being angry to connect with others and to feel accepted for feeling what they are feeling. When we don’t participate in this destructive process they become insecure and believe everyone disagreeing with them is against them. I think it’s a lack of owning your feelings and taking responsibility for them. When we refrain from anger they are faced with their own anger and some can’t handle that.

Oh please!

I was first annoyed with your strong dislike but now that you are explaining why you feel that way you do I kind of get where you're coming from. I don't like things that don't make sense and I'm very skeptical because I think there must be a hidden agenda. But I found out it wasn't so.

The very first time I ever saw a flash mob was in one of the TV episodes of Weeds. Then I saw more and more videos and like you I was totally confused and didn't understand the whole purpose behind it.

But instead of disliking it I was more intrigued. I really wanted to understand the origin of this movement and its purpose because I couldn't get enough info about it online.

Then I joined FMA which helped me understand it better. I met in one of the secret practice locations a woman from Italy who had come out here to write a paper for her school about the function of FMA. We learned about it together.

It's really unfortunate that your first experience was such a bad one. It sounds like some random people with no prior experience or maybe misinformed group of people tried to imitate a flash mob and failed terribly.

Flash mobs are never supposed to invade peoples personal space and when they are over, a huge part of a flash mob is to disperse ASAP.

Aww, you guys, reading all of this made me all mushy and warm inside.

I miss being able to put his name as my emergency contact when I sign up for a dance class or at the doctors office.

Miss being woken up to his phone call first thing in the morning.

Oh, cool.

Thank you. Just learned something new. :)

That's okay. I understand.

How about this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gWTPJRC3Z8

edit: How do you make clickable links?

Totage, no one is donating anything. They are either partnering up with a good cause or simply just for fun.

This one is my favorite. This one is for you to cheer you up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkYZ6rbPU2M

Eileena is right. Someone started to call certain group crimes flash rob. I saw it on TV (CBS I believe) too and we were really concerned that this is going to start giving a bad rep for flash mobbers who have nothing to do with it. This is really bad journalism that confuses the public who may not even know what a flash mob is.

There are many flash mob organizations. I have been a proud member of Flash Mob America (FMA) for the last 3 years and can only tell you about my own experience. It’s a non profit organization. The organizers are extremely friendly and their main purpose is to spread joy and support meaningful and social causes or awareness to charities.

FMA functions by directly supporting organizations that are campaigning for a positive cause. They accomplish this through organizing mass gatherings and performing choreographed dances that relate to the theme of the charities or social causes. Often FMA participants will help raise funds for events through their performances by bringing attention to the campaign they are volunteering for.

Some of the causes I have supported with our performances was: the Red Cross for their disaster relief education program, Heal The Bay’s Coastal Cleanup efforts, raising funds for families of Cystic Fibrosis, the Haiti Relief, PATH, Child S.H.A.R.E in support of homeless families, and the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles. The very last one was a marriage proposal.

I look at it as a community service. And no, they do not just show up without making prior arrangements. Where do you think the music is coming from? It’s all arranged after permission is granted from whatever cause it is they are supporting. They do not disrupt businesses because generally they don’t go to businesses unless of course a particular business has partnered with them for whatever profit or awareness purposes.

Yes, some people don’t like them. It brings a lot of joy into my life both participating and witnessing one. I don’t find a 2 and half minute public performance that brings smiles to peoples faces disruptive. The participants put a lot of time, sweat, effort, and practice into learning the choreography.

Another excellent thread.

I attract 2 types the most:

1. Men who are on the conservative side, who are into the stereotypical gender roles. Oldschool, who may view being with me as an accomplishment, a trophy to have.

2. Men who have a preference/fetish for either my cultural background or are significantly younger than me who generally like older women for whatever reason.

I do give them a fair chance if there is mutual interest and attraction. This however usually proves problematic because we discover how incompatible we are. In both cases I experience a lack of appreciation for my individuality. I find myself confined to a specific role and feel like any other qualities or aspects of my personality that’s beyond this role or expectation gets lost.