I am encouraged to say this because I have observed that when men see women achieving at times it becomes an issue even if she tries her best to make it all seems like one common goal. I have known of instances where a man asked an "independent" woman...so if you do everything for yourself what will be left for me to do?

So help us out my friendly and outspoken men. What do you mean by independent?

Men want an "independent" woman who also cooks, cleans, watches the kids, is already for love when he is. Oh, she can have a job too.

Yeah; I want to know that too. If you are not independent; they complain and if you are too independent they complain. What the heck do these guys want?

The magnetic poles on earth isnt the same as it is on planet Cling-on?

Co-dependency gets rather toxic no matter the gender.
Controll issues, emotional manipulations..ect, ect.

I want an independent woman who is confident of her abilities. I don't care if she makes more than me.

And I help with the housework and kids...it is called pulling in the harness together.

Good for you! My husband was this way too...All men aren't the "same." And all women aren't the "same" either!..But sometimes we have to "hunt" for a "needle" in a "haystack" when it comes to finding "exceptions." Don't you think??

Meh..as long as I am happy with me ..they can go leap in a lake if they don't like it.

I agree, not all men are the same just as not all women are the same.
Some men only want women to be as independent as is convenient for them. Not more or less.

I think many people (women and men) naturally want to be needed and/or taken care off. To some extend we all do and we are all not perfect. We all have some baggage. Unfortunately we don't learn in schools how to raise self awareness and examine how much of our expectations contribute to personal growth and how much of it is learned behavior and socially constructed identities that are getting in the way.

Some acquire tools later in life to define a healthy relationship for themselves, some struggle, some don't feel the need to get into it that deep.

Yep; I feel the same way.

oh hell, we just like to complain

Independent to me means, able to take care of yourself and have some free time to do your own thing in the mix of a relationship. It wouldn't matter if she makes more money. I also may WANT help in doing some things, and would expect to help her out also. But not NEEDy and whiny, or making me constantly feel guilty for things I do with friends or when chores or responsibilities come up.

Pretty simple actually.

Since I am able to completely take care of myself, that does not mean I do not want to share in those things some of the time. I work a full time job, have kids and a mother who needs care. So WE communicate and spend time together when we have and make time, but not every second of every day.

is a self sufficiant strong woman who sticks to her core beliefs but is still a women with a soft smile & a kind heart. there very few who can balance both aspects but if ya find one there priceless. BELIEVE me iam looking & hope to find her someday...

To me, an independent woman is a woman who doesn't try to use a man to gain the lifestyle that she wants.

I agree. In addition, she seeks pleasure with a man, not for a man.

I can't give a man's perspective on independence, but I can give mine as an independent woman...

I think the difference between want and need sums it up nicely. I don't NEED a man. Sure, I'd like one in my life, but I don't rely on a man to help me financially, to boost my self esteem, to give meaning to my life, or make me feel complete. I'm just fine on my own.

Yeah I kind of figured that. A friend of mine was supposed to help with a reno at my house but I ended up doing it myself. He was upset that he couldn't help until I said; now that the reno was done; he had more time to drink beer. Suddenly; he didn't mind my independence and thought it was a good thing. LOL

Well said.

If I have to spend most of my hours during the day earning money,
It gets retarded and ridiculous if i have to come home and earn
love from a woman that loves me as I am, too.
No rest for the wickage. It's imposible for a anyone to
keep anyone else feeling good or happy 24/7.

Of course we all need support every so often when we stumble
and fall. No need to walk on eggshells or be perfect.
We all want to love and be loved.
Emotional bonding is great. Emotional emeshing is another story.
Losing yourself in anything is not healthy.

When a person is self supporting on all level.
She's totally free and is clear minded.

When a person choose to love me not becuase she needs to,
it's a total turn on. She loves me for me becuase she loves
herself first and formost.

Inter-independent
Love is not a prisoner of love.

But....I can't Swim!!!!!

Lucky for you; I own 4 life jackets.