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| Topic: Men | |
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. |
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. Perhaps the man isn't meeting her needs if she's losing interest in sex. |
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Here's the thing. I don't deny these other theories either. I just don't agree with them. Therefore, I don't post about them. I post things I feel are correct and I'm sure you do the same, as well as ignoring ideas you feel are incorrect.
So, what you accept is whatever is emotionally appealing to you. No, I look at the evidence and make a decision based on the facts. What works and what doesn't. I'm also open minded. Any of my opinions could be changed if good, solid evidence were presented. |
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. Perhaps the man isn't meeting her needs if she's losing interest in sex. That's possible. I'm sure it's true in some cases, but it seems pointless to sit here to speculate what all reasons a woman could have for withholding sex. |
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Oh the benefits of freinds with benefits. None of this sh--.
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First of all, I don't believe my parents "worked" at their relationship. I think they simply accepted each other as they were. I can remember only once when they disagreed. But, they had very clear rolls in the relationship. He worked and made the living, she stayed home, kept the house and raised my sister and me. I don't understand why a committed, sexual relationship should be work. I don't work at any of my other relationships. I think the more work you do, the more compromises you have to make, the more likely it is you're with the wrong person. I can get along with anyone that wants to get along. I'll do my part. All the same stuff I do as a single man (dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning). But, once the nagging starts, once she starts telling me how SHE wants me to be, I start packing my bags. She's no longer a benefit to me and has become a source of stress. So, I tell her, don't let that door hit your butt on the way out. BUT, THEY NEVER LEAVE They just keep nagging until I finally become angry enough to throw them out. You don't think it requires effort to be accepting? Perhaps they "worked" at shielding and protecting you and your sister from their disagreements by dealing with them privately. Rolls are a good thing. I think in todays day and age the traditional "rolls" have evolved/changed whatever you wish to call it, and frankly it doesn't matter who stays home or works, but I do agree that a family where at least one parent is home with the kids is best. Unfortunately our economy doesn't always allow for that. Also, you do work at all other relationships. You work at being peacable with friends, coworkers and strangers do you not? You accept other peoples failings and disappointments when propriety calls for it do you not? That requires effort. That requires patience. That requires time and emotion. As for compromise, life is full of it. Why should interpersonal relationships be any different? To fail to compromise makes one a very shallow person. Which by your last comment seems to be the case. How sad for you to be so selfish and deny another persons needs or desires. Perhaps you have experienced nagging because you failed to be giving in your relationships. One one point I agree with you, you are better off alone. This is a personal attack. I see no reason to defend myself to you as I've done nothing wrong. And there's simply no benefit in it for me. I'm done. Best wishes. If you want to see it that way, ok. Tootles. |
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I don't acknowledge all that behavioral psychology stuff because it reads to me like justifications and excuses. "My wife doesn't understand me." It's whiny and begging for forgiveness. Kind of like "she nags and it doesn't benefit me so I'm out of here". |
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Edited by
tautologic
on
Thu 07/05/12 09:33 PM
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. Perhaps the man isn't meeting her needs if she's losing interest in sex. Applause! |
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. Perhaps the man isn't meeting her needs if she's losing interest in sex. Applause! I think that many men nowadays are expecting sex when they are with a woman. They forget that they do have a different sort of wiring than we do and they need more than someone who EXPECTS it. Try doing things a little different and THINK about it from their viewpoint. Maybe if you concentrate on being someone they admire for the way you conduct yourself and respect her for what she does in life, she may actually WANT to be with you. And it would be my guess that you will need all the luck you can get, so...GOOD LUCK TO YOU. 
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Love reading the views from those who responded.. my view,as I was simply trying to point out,is that we all have a choice to make when it comes to cheating.Women have the same sexual drives as men unless there is a problem to cause her or him not to want that.There really is no difference .....
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I don't acknowledge all that behavioral psychology stuff because it reads to me like justifications and excuses. "My wife doesn't understand me." It's whiny and begging for forgiveness. Kind of like "she nags and it doesn't benefit me so I'm out of here". Hey now! amid your War of the Roses- another jab at psychology. Research is the science of behaviour (soft-pardon the pun- as it is), but the Art is the actual working with people. And furthermore- I actually I have lost track of the point of this thread and which snarky comments I wanted to make. But basically wrmnnaturl is correct- your behaviour is your choice based on your emotions which are based on your thoughts. Whether you are aware of them or not. Using psychology as an excuse is BS, using it to help make your life better, is what it is for. The choice is yours to make and remember you only have control over yourself, not others. |
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. Perhaps the man isn't meeting her needs if she's losing interest in sex. That's possible. I'm sure it's true in some cases, but it seems pointless to sit here to speculate what all reasons a woman could have for withholding sex. You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though. |
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though. 
That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. |
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though.
That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. I'm well aware that not every man hates women. I didn't say anything like that. You were making excuses for men cheating, though. Excuses don't work when it comes to cheating. Those who cheat (men and women) make the decision to do so. They can use all the excuses they want, but they're just that... excuses. |
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though.
That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. I'm well aware that not every man hates women. I didn't say anything like that. You were making excuses for men cheating, though. Excuses don't work when it comes to cheating. Those who cheat (men and women) make the decision to do so. They can use all the excuses they want, but they're just that... excuses. I was not making excuses. You need to understand that my positions and thoughts are nuanced. The fact that I say X does not mean I believe Y. Just because I feel that women are often also at fault for cheating husbands, does not mean the men are innocent or the women deserve all the blame. There are plenty of good wives who are cheated on by scumbags. And there are plenty of good men who end up cheating because of lack of sex life. |
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though.
That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. I'm well aware that not every man hates women. I didn't say anything like that. You were making excuses for men cheating, though. Excuses don't work when it comes to cheating. Those who cheat (men and women) make the decision to do so. They can use all the excuses they want, but they're just that... excuses. I was not making excuses. You need to understand that my positions and thoughts are nuanced. The fact that I say X does not mean I believe Y. Just because I feel that women are often also at fault for cheating husbands, does not mean the men are innocent or the women deserve all the blame. There are plenty of good wives who are cheated on by scumbags. And there are plenty of good men who end up cheating because of lack of sex life. There you go again. You're still saying that women are often at fault for cheating husbands. Sorry, but if a guy cheats due to lack of sex life, that's not being a good man. You didn't want to discuss one of the reasons why there may be a lack of a sex life, you just want to put the blame on the woman. |
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though.
That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. I'm well aware that not every man hates women. I didn't say anything like that. You were making excuses for men cheating, though. Excuses don't work when it comes to cheating. Those who cheat (men and women) make the decision to do so. They can use all the excuses they want, but they're just that... excuses. I was not making excuses. You need to understand that my positions and thoughts are nuanced. The fact that I say X does not mean I believe Y. Just because I feel that women are often also at fault for cheating husbands, does not mean the men are innocent or the women deserve all the blame. There are plenty of good wives who are cheated on by scumbags. And there are plenty of good men who end up cheating because of lack of sex life. There you go again. You're still saying that women are often at fault for cheating husbands. Sorry, but if a guy cheats due to lack of sex life, that's not being a good man. You didn't want to discuss one of the reasons why there may be a lack of a sex life, you just want to put the blame on the woman. I get it now! I get it! You are going to just take my statements out of context and be offended regardless of what I say. We are on the same page now. Relationships require 100% from both parties. When a relationship fails, it's rarely due exclusively to the actions or inactions of one party. If a man cheats, it's always wrong. That doesn't mean that his wife is blameless! Did she try to fix things or did she let the marriage fall apart around her. Just because one partner gives up, that doesn't give the other partner the right to give up too. A marriage is a commitment and should be taken seriously by both parties. |
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Someone mentioned earlier about mens genes taking over. It is actually a biological fact that men are built to inseminate as many women as possible in their lifetime which goes against nature and comes from societorial nurture. Most of the men I know who have cheated done it because they are not getting their needs met by the women they are with. I have only had three serious relationships in my life. I have been faithful in all three even though sometimes things have been hard.
Most mens needs are really quite simple but a lot of women do not understand that. Hence they stray and believe me I have been tempted. |
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Someone mentioned earlier about mens genes taking over. It is actually a biological fact that men are built to inseminate as many women as possible in their lifetime which goes against nature and comes from societorial nurture. Most of the men I know who have cheated done it because they are not getting their needs met by the women they are with. I have only had three serious relationships in my life. I have been faithful in all three even though sometimes things have been hard. Most mens needs are really quite simple but a lot of women do not understand that. Hence they stray and believe me I have been tempted. Prepare to be flamed. |
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Edited by
TexasScoundrel
on
Fri 07/06/12 09:00 AM
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I'm starting to think some of these women are just being obtuse.
We have answered all their questions and yet we're still going in the same circles. Either they refuse or cannot understand. I'd say we weren't explaining properly, but I understand what the other men have said and I know they understand what I've said. Therefore, it must be an issue with the women |
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