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| Topic: Men | |
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To explain the motivations of cheating is not an excuse or justification for it. It's simply an explanation.
If I explained the motivations of a murderer am I saying the murder is justified? Of course not. I'm simply explaining why it was done, what the murderer gained by the action. Murder is still wrong. I keep saying this, over and over. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. I don't know a way to be more clear on this point. Is anyone still confused? If so it has nothing to do with me. |
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To explain the motivations of cheating is not an excuse or justification for it. It's simply an explanation. If I explained the motivations of a murderer am I saying the murder is justified? Of course not. I'm simply explaining why it was done, what the murderer gained by the action. Murder is still wrong. I keep saying this, over and over. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. Cheating is wrong, people shouldn't do it. I don't know a way to be more clear on this point. Is anyone still confused? If so it has nothing to do with me. Too late, I saw the wanted posters hanging in the jailhouse and heard a posse was already on your trail. Thought I heard one of them say "we'll have him lynched by sundown". And, I see there is a freshly built pine box leaning against the general store. Maybe you and some of the boys should hide out till the coast is clear. Here's some fresh blankets and grub, now you better skinny before the marshal gets back. |
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I am wondering why a woman would loose interest in a partner? To assume it is all one partner's fault over another is ignoreing fifty percent of the problem. Not that it is always both it is rare that it isn't. Why often marriage counseling actually helps. This is a very ignorant statement. There is a habit of many counselors to suggest that every marital problem is split equally down the middle with both partners taking half the blame. This is simply unrealistic. Most marital problems are actually due to an inner personal issue with one partner which creates a dynamic in the relationship via behavior or attitude. This then causes the other partner to respond or react. The dysfunction is not mutual or equal. The point being that partner #1 will still have the issue in question if they leave the marriage. Partner #2 however, will be able to persue a new relationship without said issue being a factor. For example, an alcoholic is the main source of stress to a marriage in trouble. It is not the other partners responsibility to own the dysfunction when the alcholic is failing the marriage. Or when a partner has a mental illness such as depression, it creates a dynamic in the relationship completely unrelated to the second partner. There are many many MANY scenerios to explain this. Unfortunately, counselors have far too often taken the road of mutual responsibility in the name of political correctness and to elminiate difficult clients. However, this does not solve the underlaying problems which is why many traditional counselors do not have a good success rate with their clients. Most marriage fail because of a failure on one partners part. Until that issue is addressed, owned and then dealt with, the marriage will continue to fail. |
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I am wondering why a woman would loose interest in a partner? To assume it is all one partner's fault over another is ignoreing fifty percent of the problem. Not that it is always both it is rare that it isn't. Why often marriage counseling actually helps. This is a very ignorant statement. There is a habit of many counselors to suggest that every marital problem is split equally down the middle with both partners taking half the blame. This is simply unrealistic. Most marital problems are actually due to an inner personal issue with one partner which creates a dynamic in the relationship via behavior or attitude. This then causes the other partner to respond or react. The dysfunction is not mutual or equal. The point being that partner #1 will still have the issue in question if they leave the marriage. Partner #2 however, will be able to persue a new relationship without said issue being a factor. For example, an alcoholic is the main source of stress to a marriage in trouble. It is not the other partners responsibility to own the dysfunction when the alcholic is failing the marriage. Or when a partner has a mental illness such as depression, it creates a dynamic in the relationship completely unrelated to the second partner. There are many many MANY scenerios to explain this. Unfortunately, counselors have far too often taken the road of mutual responsibility in the name of political correctness and to elminiate difficult clients. However, this does not solve the underlaying problems which is why many traditional counselors do not have a good success rate with their clients. Most marriage fail because of a failure on one partners part. Until that issue is addressed, owned and then dealt with, the marriage will continue to fail. I'd say PacificStar's comment was more parroting than ignorance Tautologic...She is far from ignorant!!... I do like your post though...It makes a lot of sense...Especially the statement about the "inner" problems of ONE person being the root cause of infidelity...In your scenario one could only condemn the "innocent" party of being co-dependent, an enabler... I don't think marriage "counselors?" take the high road in the name of political correctness, I think they take it because they are bad counselors...It's hard to find a good one due to the complexities involved... |
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U same as m
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I am wondering why a woman would loose interest in a partner? To assume it is all one partner's fault over another is ignoreing fifty percent of the problem. Not that it is always both it is rare that it isn't. Why often marriage counseling actually helps. This is a very ignorant statement. There is a habit of many counselors to suggest that every marital problem is split equally down the middle with both partners taking half the blame. This is simply unrealistic. Most marital problems are actually due to an inner personal issue with one partner which creates a dynamic in the relationship via behavior or attitude. This then causes the other partner to respond or react. The dysfunction is not mutual or equal. The point being that partner #1 will still have the issue in question if they leave the marriage. Partner #2 however, will be able to persue a new relationship without said issue being a factor. For example, an alcoholic is the main source of stress to a marriage in trouble. It is not the other partners responsibility to own the dysfunction when the alcholic is failing the marriage. Or when a partner has a mental illness such as depression, it creates a dynamic in the relationship completely unrelated to the second partner. There are many many MANY scenerios to explain this. Unfortunately, counselors have far too often taken the road of mutual responsibility in the name of political correctness and to elminiate difficult clients. However, this does not solve the underlaying problems which is why many traditional counselors do not have a good success rate with their clients. Most marriage fail because of a failure on one partners part. Until that issue is addressed, owned and then dealt with, the marriage will continue to fail. I'd say PacificStar's comment was more parroting than ignorance Tautologic...She is far from ignorant!!... I do like your post though...It makes a lot of sense...Especially the statement about the "inner" problems of ONE person being the root cause of infidelity...In your scenario one could only condemn the "innocent" party of being co-dependent, an enabler... I don't think marriage "counselors?" take the high road in the name of political correctness, I think they take it because they are bad counselors...It's hard to find a good one due to the complexities involved... Yep it sucks when you are married to someone with big problems and you are told to be patient and try harder.  It's part of the reason why you end up blaming yourself
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I haven't blamed myself since I was 16.
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