Is it just me or are the squirrels in the park sneakier?

Squirrel Removal $50.00 off.....Hurry, offer is limited!

Now who'd pass up a nutty offer like that?

oh but I'm reading so many insightful things in the forums...I wasn't aware that men have a green GO when it comes to allowing infidelity ...I don't think men are any more programmed to cheat than a woman.I think men just go ahead with that green light shining in their head...makes it seem more sensible and a great excuse for getting a bit on the side.Let me say this..I was alone for weeks at a time because my husbands work made it that way.I wanted to cheat...a LOT...guess what? I didn't.....no more needs to be said.

I haven't said anything in an attempt to excuse or justify cheating. It's wrong simple as that. What I have done is try to explain the motivations men have for cheating, their biological drives. That's all.

I can see where people think that you have tried to justify cheating. Perhaps it's just the way you worded things, but you have made it sound like you don't think it's wrong.

Trying to explain cheating doesn't work. It comes down to the choices people make. If you're in a relationship, you can choose to be faithful, or choose to cheat. No one else makes that decision for you. If you're cheating because you aren't getting enough sex, it's your fault for not trying to work it out first. If trying to work it out doesn't help, then it's not the right relationship for you.

This post speaks volumes about you, about commitment, about love, about honesty....AND MOST OF ALL.... about women!...

Yet, you do not acknowledge that there are other theories about the cause of cheating.

Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman has written a book on the subject of marital cheating. According to Neuman, the #1 reason than married men cheat is emotional disconnection. (Information Source)

Psychologist Brenda Shoshanna writes, "Often infidelity arises because certain needs in a marriage have not been met. Other times it arises as an act of resentment against the partner, or as a desire for freedom and adventure. Sometimes there are issues in the individual or in the relationship which have not been dealt with and which have simply festered. Rather than deal with them directly, the person then escapes the entire situation by getting involved with someone else." (Quote Source)

Psychologist Don-David Lusterman gives the following reasons for cheating:

- Inability to cope with cultural or ethnic differences.
- Disappointment that one partner hasn’t grown in the same ways.
- Unrealistic expectations about marriage.
- Curiosity.
- Lost sense of fun and excitement in the marriage.
- Addiction to physical intimacy.
- Inability to accommodate a partner’s needs, interests or expectations.
- Inability to communicate one’s own interests, needs or desires.
- Boredom with the marriage, work, life, the relationship, or the routine.
- Lack of verbal skills or motivation to solve relationship problems together.

(Information Source)

The mind has multiple layers. The above quotes are about conscious (top layer) reasons for adultery. TexasScoundrel is writing about the subconscious (bottom layer) reasons for adultery. There is a constant subconscious drive to spread your seed, which men find all manner of ways to explain to themselves and others.

Nether line of thinking is technically wrong, but TexasScoundrel is more right than those psychologists you quoted.

In programming terms, those psychologists are describing applications, while TexasScoundrel is describing the OS.

You are begging the question. You are assuming what is yet to be proven. How do you test the hypothesis that a "drive to spread seed" is the cause of cheating among men?

I would go so far as to say that you are introducing an ad hoc hypothesis in an attempt to make the "my DNA made me do it" hypothesis unfalsifiable.

I don't think it would be fair to generalize for a select few. I also don't think the blame is on one person either or one one gender.
Most families I know are good/balanced so the generalization doesn't match my environment at all.

In defense of TexasScoundrel, he isn't making up anything. He is repeating something expressed by some behavioral studies experts. However, there is no consensus among behavioral studies experts about this particular topic.

Not at all. What parts of the brain are active when a man thinks about adultery? That would tell you if the theory is correct or not.

T.S. is right. People are "programed" to reproduce.

It's not the only cause of "cheating" in a relationship but it is a factor.

I don't acknowledge all that behavioral psychology stuff because it reads to me like justifications and excuses. "My wife doesn't understand me." It's whiny and begging for forgiveness.

Yet, out of fairness, the existence of competing theories should be acknowledged. During my college days, I was exposed to a variety of ideas pertaining to human behavior, which my psychology professors insisted upon.

Here's the thing. I don't deny these other theories either. I just don't agree with them. Therefore, I don't post about them. I post things I feel are correct and I'm sure you do the same, as well as ignoring ideas you feel are incorrect.

Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality.

So, what you accept is whatever is emotionally appealing to you.