Honestly, I have tried looking at it and I do understand both sides of the fence. On one side, if someone has had their trust broken, at times it can be hard to repair that bridge with anyone because that trust is no more and it is very difficult to build a new bridge of trust with someone new knowing what happened last time. On the other side of the fence, I try to live a life of you need to break my trust for me to not trust you anymore. Problem with that one is that it is REALLY easy to get burned a lot and then get put onto the first side of the fence. I say just go with your gut, if someone is giving you enough reason to question them, ignoring the he says she says, then there is a good chance you shouldn't be trusting them in the first place.

Knowing I don't sing hasn't given me anxiety at all in all honesty. A few years ago, I decided to try something new, whenever anyone in the church asks a favor of me, without hesitation, I agree to it. I go where I am needed without ever telling God that I am too busy. So far I have been needed to lead the band and nothing else. You see, our band is filled with musicians who range from beginner to advanced. I was told that I was picked because I seem to be the only one who can take each persons strengths AND weaknesses musically speaking and make the band sound amazing.

I have a longer story than that to tell one day (a few pages of a read depending on how I word it) but the general gist of it all is that God has put it on my heart that I will give him 100%, not 10%, 100%, even in times like now when I have no money and I am not making any money at all. I give him my all, starting with my music. If the band is not up to my standards at minimal, I work with the band until we sound like a band in the highest regards that I hold them up to. They all seem to enjoy my leadership, but have also learned a few tell tale signs of how we are doing as a whole, myself included when there is problems.

When we are rocking out so to say, I found out I uncontrollably dance on stage. I have tried to stop from some people saying it is distracting, but I simply cannot, when I get moved by the spirit, I let the spirit take over. On the days where it may be a rough day, the band may be off time, someone may be playing off key, whatever the reason is musically, my band knows if I am not moving, it is time to button up and figure out where the problem is.

My band knows my #1 rule though, when we come to even practice to praise God, we leave our drama at the door. If there is something that is bothering you to the point where you cannot focus on playing and praising God, you are not needed that week. Get your heart right first, then come to praise. At times, I have had to lead by example using that one, and again, my band seems to respect and enjoy the fact that I lead by example instead of lead verbally and nothing else.

Most of the guys I know do not date for the virtue, let alone start an actual long term relationship for virtue. Me personally, the reason why I have very few relationships, all of which last years is because I look for virtue first. Then again I have been told many times over I am a dying breed of guy. :/

Honestly, I know I am tone deaf when I sing, I have even taken singing lessons and it just don't happen. Also when I do try to sing, I lose my timing and well, ask any bass player and drummer, 90% of the time, we have an internal metronome in our heads that we live by. Last thing I want to do is throw that little badboy off by trying to do something else other than keeping up with it. :P

I have been lucky and blessed enough to inherit my mothers side of the family remarkable metabolism. I don't want to risk it though so I do have a morning workout ritual that some people believe is crazy, but it works for me.

Random thought. Me personally, I cannot sing. Hell, I cannot even talk while playing my bass or I lose my timing. Due to this, I am usually dead silent while putting my band in order and keep them on beat during wonky parts of the service.

The one things that moves me the most is when the band as a whole plays as one person. The choir and congregation is also singing their hearts out, to the point where they overpower me hearing myself through my monitor. At that point, I close my eyes and get lost in the music. I forget that I am leading a band and we all simply praise God. It can be rare at times that I can stop focusing on leading a band and I can focus on praising God, but when it does happen, I almost have to stand back and just listen in awe.

Just my two cents, nothing more. :)

Honestly, I don't see why guys are not messaging you, but then again, so far the only people who has messaged me and "wanted to meet me" were trying to get me to either go to their website or get me to send them money because they were stranded in Africa. :/

Yep yep, I will agree with the psychotic chicks statement buddy!

Also, for the anger issues woman, it is hard to explain. I have always been known to be able to read someone off of looking at their face at a glance usually. Hell, I even had a job for about 3 years where I got paid to read people off of a glance because I was so good at it. The problem with her wasn't that she was angry right then and there, but even with her natural expression before she did get angry, you can easily tell she was just one of those people who was angry about 75% of the time. I am way too happy of a person and way too proud of a person to be around someone who is that negative ya know? If I am wrong, then I am sorry to whoever she is, but me personally, I would rather go with my gut, she was obviously having a lot of trouble controlling her anger over little petty situations ya know?

Thank you for the advice folks!

Krupa, please don't get me wrong, I am NOT looking for someone who is perfect physically. I was only saying that with those early warning signs, it might just be best for me to back off and continue trying to find the right one ya know? I have never been a fan of lowering my standards (Hell I think they are low enough as is :P) but I do have my few deal breakers and those three women broke most of the deal breakers off of a glance.

I understand that my animosity towards the weed is a personal thing, but I am very proud of my 12 years clean and I know that smell may sicken me now, but I am scared that if I am around it too long, I might go back to how I used to be. I didn't only smoke weed then, but it was my start up drug ya know?

I was talking to a buddy of mine. He was noticing that while we were out and about, I had received a few green lights from a few various females. He then asked me why I had completely ignored these green lights yet he knew I was actively trying to go out there and find that female who is just right for me.

My response was simple, I had learned from my past relationships and experiences and had watched and noticed these females before they had noticed me.

The first, you could tell by her facial expressions that she got agitated really easy and was quite literally moments from losing her temper. I was in a relationship with a very angry woman for a very long time, I will never do that one again.

This happened with various different reasons for a total of 3 women, the problem was they all had various issues that I just simply cannot get myself to deal with anymore.

The second smelled REALLY bad because she was as high as a kite and I was sick to my stomach. (12 years clean, I cannot stand the smell of weed nowadays, I honestly do not think I can be with someone where I cannot stand the smell of them every time they try to get a fix)

The last one was for lack of better term, too "hood" for my taste. I was raised in a rough side of town myself, please do not get me wrong. Hell, I even hang out with many people who can be very "hood." I just personally am not like that anymore and refuse to go back into that lifestyle.

My question is simple, does this make my standards too high or am I doing the right thing by sticking to my guns? Yes we all want a date here and there usually, but I just cannot see myself going out on a date or starting a relationship with someone who is reminding me of my past that I have moved on from ya know?

EDIT: Fixed spelling and grammar errors.

I still do believe there is that perfect person out there for me. The only thing that makes the difference from what most would believe is that the perfect woman out there for me would also know and understand that things will not always be gravy status. We both would be there to temper and help the other person grow closer to God. I am human, I will make mistakes, so I have to understand and accept that so will they.

My guilty pleasure band...

Victory Song by Ensiferum

Honestly, if I had the means to move to have a sure job, knowing how nice that sounds, I might even jump on it. My big problem is that I tried that once moving to the other half of America, and things turned out REALLY bad. I won't go into full details, but even though it sounds amazing and I would honestly love to move to a place like AZ one day, as of right now, I simply don't have the means to protect myself financially or even move out to a place like that ya know?

Normally I would, but it had been a long day. Never got a lunch break at work, was running late to work that morning so I skipped breakfast. Once I smelled that meal in front of me, well, hunger took over. :P

The worst for me, the entire date, she was texting her ex boyfriend, getting angrier and angrier over how he was treating her, hell at one point she started cussing at her phone as if her phone was the one at fault. Once I was done eating my meal (I was hungry) I got up, payed the bill and even payed for a taxi to pick her up and take her home. I had picked her up to take her out to eat, but was NOT going to sit through taking her home after that.

Welcome welcome. :)

Honestly, if you keep a relationship serious too often, you will burn out eventually. Everyone needs a laugh to lighten the mood every now and then, why not lighten the mood with the person you are involved with?

Offer to go out to eat, if he isn't down to go out with you in public, he isn't worth your time.

Sorry if that is a little too honest and straight forward, it is a curse of mine to have no brain to mouth filter. :/

Honestly, I have been in relationships where the female thought I was ignoring her. Only thing was, whenever she wanted to get squirrley, it was usually when she got home from work (2am ish) and the bigger of the two problems was that I had to wake up for work at 5am ish. It wasn't that I didn't find her attractive or anything like that, but I was the bread winner in the household and I was more worried about making rent and having a roof over our heads than I was about one night of fun ya know?

Honestly, you are the only person from Sacramento that I have been able to meet through this website. Don't get me wrong, was a super cool kick it we had, but I have almost given up finding someone in my area through this website in my age range.