Topic: Hot Topic: Women competing with Men. Caution: Enter at your
LLH5's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:14 PM

well bro before you have women thinking you speak for all men how about in my opinion or i believe or my thoughts, noticed you are not responding to my posts, Guess you may just be trying to get attention from the ladies so good luck to ya.


I think you're correctflowerforyou And, I also believe the attention he's drawing from the women isn't positive.

thunderbear1967's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:17 PM
thank you just ticks me off trying to say this is what men think/believe he has no idea what i believe or who I am ladies if you like sports are following your dreams and being the boss or mom i have respect for you.

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:17 PM
Edited by AllSmilesInTulsa on Sun 12/09/07 02:19 PM
Are you saying you don't mind competition in your professional life but prefer a more feminine partner with more traditional gender roles in your personal life?

italian_half's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:20 PM

This thread is hilarious!laugh Beats the hell out of television! drinker

I'm not sure what this "manly man" crap is all about. I have no interest in sports, I can take care of all my own need like cooking, cleaning, sewing and whatever else comes along that you might be suggesting is women's work or feminine.
I honestly prefer a woman that has a job/career that she enjoys and excels at. I don't find that a threat in any way. I admire it! Some people are competitive in this way but I'm not.
If she was into watching sports, I'd have no problem with that, so long as it didn't soak up all of her free time. I'd rather be playing couch rugby than watching it.bigsmile :tongue:
I was under the impression that it was a team effort, not a competition.


Good thoughts, sir.

The point is not about what a man can do vs. a woman. We all admire people, of any gender, that are muti-talented. I think many people are missing the point when they boil this discussion down to gender roles.

The point is not about what a man can do vs. a woman, or what a man should do vs. a woman. Or, that anything a woman does is threatening to a man.

The point is this: A woman that tries to compete with a man, in a relationship (i.e. tries to show him up, or boast about her career, or he lack of need for a man) is unattractive to a man. Second, a woman that takes on manly traits, like watching sports centers, or trying to be "like a man" in her interests, is unattractive to men.

thunderbear1967's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:20 PM
me no mam im saying in my personal life it is a partnership. I have worked for and respected many women, most were the best Project Managers I have worked for, most of the men I have worked for are intimidated at my speed to resolve issues and my communication with customers as well as our corp managers, I have also dated a woman who made lots more then I did all that did not matter what mattered was her.

Bry395's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:24 PM
Edited by Bry395 on Sun 12/09/07 02:44 PM
Here is the truth

1.) "The bossman syndrome" Men do like to feel they are in charge in a relationship. I know this comes as a shock and goes against the grain of what many career women experience in the office, but at home, a man likes to feel in charge of the relationship. (Sorry, we're wired that way)

2.) We don't want someone to try to compete with us. We'd love to hear about your day, but we don't want to be compared to or looked down on. Many women with successful careers think less of men who haven't acheived the same level of success (and tend to compete against any man). In relationships, as in the office, these women still feel they need to prove something to a man.



Truth sheesh! is this yours?

What about the women that do work long hours to help provide for the family? We are still expected to come home and cook dinner for our family now how is that for a double standard.

I do NOT feel the need to have to prove myself to anyone. I'm blessed to have the job I do, I earned my postion the hard way...putting my time in and doing a good job.

Interesting, you say many successful women look down on men. My sisters are quite successful in their careers also and the men in our lives encourage and compliment us.

thunderbear1967's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:28 PM
and i respect Bry 100% not to mention she is one of the greatest people I have ever known if she was only allot closer

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:29 PM

Are you saying you don't mind competition in your professional life but prefer a more feminine partner with more traditional gender roles in your personal life?


The question is for Italian_Half

italian_half's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:31 PM





Why do you feel you have to compete with a woman? If you are a couple, isn't our career suppose to make our lives better for both of us? My ex use to think of our life as a game...who could make the most money? Did it really matter? I thought it was, lets try to save and get ahead in life.
I think if a man worries about having to compete with his woman, then he isn't happy with himself. So I suggest you look deep inside and see what is missing in you!! Why do women have to give up their careers to make you feel more sufficient? How do you know that one day something might not happen to where we might have to be the sole supporter?? Don't knock our careers..they might come in handy one day!!




Maam, I think you missed the point. Sorry.

The point was not for women to give up their careers, wander back into the kitchen, and become baby making machines.

The point is for successful women to try not to compete with a man, in their relationship (i.e. to try not to show up a man's success, or rub it in his face that she makes more money than him). This is unattractive to men. Also, secondly, if a woman takes on masculine traits, men will find this unattractive as well.



I think your whole point is crazy!! You are afraid that a woman will do better then a man. You are afraid that she might like sports...so what?? Does it mean that we become men if we watch football? Please!!! Are you just afraid that a woman might actually know a little bit more then you will?? It sounds like to me that you are not to sure about yourself!!
I think you need to grow some!! Get some confidence, I always hated when a man didn't have confidence in themselves..that is so unattracive!!!
Plus, just because we hit the age of 40~~that doesn't mean we stop dressing up and looking good. In fact, theres times that we look mighty fine. Maybe you need to venture out more!!!:wink:


Let's try to keep the comments constructive, and avoid personal attacks.

You keep missing the point dear, but I will repeat it...

The point is NOT about a woman doing anything better than a man. We all recognize that some women have achieved, or accomplished, more than some men. The point is also NOT about fear. This is a huge point that some women miss. Men are not fearful of women. We are just hard wired to be unattracted to a woman that tries to compete with us. We may ignore the competetive nature of a competetive woman, to get her into bed. But for something long lasting, we need a woman to not try to compete with us.

The point is that it is unattractive to a man, for a woman to try to show up the man she is trying to date, or brag about her success, or try to prove that she is just as good as a man. It is also unattractive to a man, for a woman to show off her manly traits.



And it's unattractive for a man to try and prove he's better then a woman.


Agreed. No one needs to prove they are better than anyone. This kind of behavior goes both ways. How attractive is it to a woman to come home every night and be shown that her career is not as good as a man's? (rhetorical) Men who try to be-little woman are just as wrong, as a woman, who tries to be-little a man.

My point is that with more women in their 30's and 40's settling into a career and, in some cases trying to compete with men in the office. This competitive nature, experienced by a man while dating and during a relationship, makes the man unattracted to this type of woman.

The difficulty is that many career minded women can't leave the office behind, and be feminine at home. They're still fighting the good fight, for equality with men, at home. Even though, a man is naturally unattracted to this kind of competition.


no photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:35 PM

I don't buy your "bossman" theory. Some men may feel that way but not all are "wired that way".
I like the idea of an "equal" partner much better.bigsmile


YEP!!!!!!bigsmile

italian_half's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:41 PM

well brother thats what makes us all human being different. If a woman likes sports cool that is her thing I would not think less of her, If she makes more money then me and tells me that well that gives me a reason to work harder, if she gets older I loved her for more than her looks i loved her for her. You can try to find the woman of your dreams the one who cooks cleans and follows your every demand but how long until that gets boring, me i want a woman who knows who she is not who i want or think she should be, one who loves me who i can talk to who i can experaince new things with and her with me. So good luck on your search my friend me I will look at what is before me and trust my heart and my fate.


In one way, sir, you've kind of proven my point.

You said that if a woman makes more money than you, that gives you a reason to work harder.

Behind all the equality, there is a sense of competition for a man. A man feels like he needs to be more successful, or make more money than his wife/girlfriend. This is not a bad thing. It's just our nature. Genetically, men are wired to be the providers, and we don't like to feel that we're not able to do that. And certainly, we don't want to be with someone who makes a point of her career and income, as compared to ours.

Cowboy, you might be OK with a woman making more money than you - as many men would. But, I suspect you wouldn't stay long with someone who pointed it out on a nightly basis...

kidatheart70's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:46 PM
italian_half, I don't see how one belittleing another has anything to do with gender. It's wrong no matter who does it. Whether it's in a relationship or a parent or at work from a coworker or an employer. I won't stand for it from anyone, male or female. This has nothing to do with competitveness or the ability to earn money. That's called being an a$$hole!laugh

no photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:48 PM

italian_half, I don't see how one belittleing another has anything to do with gender. It's wrong no matter who does it. Whether it's in a relationship or a parent or at work from a coworker or an employer. I won't stand for it from anyone, male or female. This has nothing to do with competitveness or the ability to earn money. That's called being an a$$hole!laugh

RIGHT ON,,KID......loldrinker smokin

italian_half's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:49 PM

bro i dont know where yo get your facts maybe im just the strange one here, I think the relationship is a prtnership. I dont need to prove anything so if my mate spouse girlfriend other wants to come home and tell me of her accomplishments that is good she is comfortable enough to tell me. Becuse when im on that stage and i hear that applause I want to feel comfortable enough to tell her, my advice Cowboy Up


It's not about communication, sir. Of course, people want to come home, in some cases, and talk about their day.

The type of person this thread is concerned with is a "career woman", who feels the need to show that she is better than a man, or doesn't need a man. These traits are unattractive to men. It's also, in general, unattractive for a woman to have too many manly traits.

The point is that women who try to show up a man, or have too many manly traits will find it difficult to have prodcutive relationships with men.

italian_half's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:53 PM

well bro before you have women thinking you speak for all men how about in my opinion or i believe or my thoughts, noticed you are not responding to my posts, Guess you may just be trying to get attention from the ladies so good luck to ya.


No reason to get personal, sir, your posts have gotten as much attention as any lady.

Most men will agree with basic premise of my argument. Of course, there will always be some that will not (John Mayer fans, etc). However, just because a few disagree, doesn't make the premise flawed.

RainbowTrout's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:53 PM
I find it easier not to compete with women. Life goes a lot smoother. I do find it easy to work with women. They have taught me a lot.

no photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:53 PM

And it's unattractive for a man to try and prove he's better then a woman.


precisely! and where the metrosexual has brought about further competition and confusion

he got a wax job more frequently than i didlaugh

it can be novel at first, but i agree it's unattractive from a woman's perspective.

that is what is belittling, to deny the other sex has any value in the relationship/life together with the i can do it all on my own.. whadda i need you for bit

italian_half's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:55 PM


well bro before you have women thinking you speak for all men how about in my opinion or i believe or my thoughts, noticed you are not responding to my posts, Guess you may just be trying to get attention from the ladies so good luck to ya.


I think you're correctflowerforyou And, I also believe the attention he's drawing from the women isn't positive.


Anyone who thinks the point of this post was to "get attention from the ladies" is very mis-guided.

Again, the point of this post is: A woman that tries to compete with a man, in a relationship (i.e. tries to show him up, or boast about her career, or her lack of need for a man) is unattractive to a man. Second, a woman that takes on manly traits, like watching Sports Center every night, or trying to be "like a man" in her interests, is unattractive to men.

kidatheart70's photo
Sun 12/09/07 02:56 PM
I agree Ak0, I wouldn't want my significant other having to shave her moustache every day either. That's a bit too manly for me to handle.laugh


Who is this John Mayer anyway?huh

italian_half's photo
Sun 12/09/07 03:05 PM

Are you saying you don't mind competition in your professional life but prefer a more feminine partner with more traditional gender roles in your personal life?


Competition between any genders outside of a relationship is natural. People of both genders compete in Marathons, or in office politics.

In a relationship, a man, in general, likes to be with someone, who can leave the competition with men at the office, and be a feminine partner. But, more so, not compete (as many career minded women do), with her partner for status at home. Men are not attracted to a woman that competes with him at home. In a relationship, a man wants to be the man, and hopes that his partner will be feminine and not compete with him.

Eventhough a woman, in this case, defers, she is no less a person, and in fact due a great deal of admiration and respect for understanding the differences between men and women.