Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: BDSM relationships
MeistrTywyll Joined Fri 02/20/15 Posts: 5	Fri 02/20/15 03:41 PM
As I have got older I have become increasingly curious about this side of sexuality. I am particularly drawn to the idea of a respectful - and note that word - slave master relationship in which I would play the role of master. I was talking to someone who was into Gorean fantasies but most of what I saw of that online seems to revolve around images of women with impossible breasts and men with impossible musculature, whereas I am drawn to the idea of "ordinary" people exploring the extraordinary side of their personalities. Any thoughts on this?

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Fri 02/20/15 04:30 PM
Do you believe this lifestyle is healthy or not? I think "healthy sex" is a lifestyle and bondage and S & M can absolutely be a "part" of a healthy sexual lifestyle whether it's a couple's preferred choice, something they enjoy on occasion or just something they decide they want to experiment with... Happy to see you here ((((((Audrey))))))...Love, love....U!!

jacktrades Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 4395	Fri 02/20/15 04:36 PM
Do you believe this lifestyle is healthy or not? Yes. As long as both know what they're doing, both physically (safety) as psychology & emotionally. It is a big responsibility, not just some silly game, and one (the dominant party mostly) must be ready, willing and able to handle this responsibility. I agree with Crystal on this, very well said.

sparkyae5 Joined Thu 03/28/13 Posts: 1595	Sat 02/21/15 09:36 AM
Do you believe this lifestyle is healthy or not? CHECK OUT THE MOVIE ''50 SHADES OF GREY ''

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33339	Sat 02/21/15 10:38 AM Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Sat 02/21/15 10:41 AM
As I have got older I have become increasingly curious about this side of sexuality. I am particularly drawn to the idea of a respectful - and note that word - slave master relationship in which I would play the role of master. I was talking to someone who was into Gorean fantasies but most of what I saw of that online seems to revolve around images of women with impossible breasts and men with impossible musculature, whereas I am drawn to the idea of "ordinary" people exploring the extraordinary side of their personalities. Any thoughts on this? Find a proper BDSM site to get informed! Also the book sequel "Club Shadowlands" can be very helpful! The intensity builds up throughout the sequel, so it start with a couple that's into the milder part of BDSM, still quite erm.. well, non-vanilla. There's another book on a Master & slave, a 24/7 situation. And another on a sado and masochist etc etc. If you want, I can look up which one the Master & slave book is. The books are all VERY well written, the author (a woman) has a real good insight in the lifestyle, the psychology that comes with it etc. So in that sense it not only makes a very exciting, good read, but it's also very educational. Can really help to get a better understanding of it all, what makes people tick who are involved in this. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with 'freaks' and/or people with weird bodies. It's about two people giving each other what they really want and need to feel good. And it's always done safely. Not just physically, but also emotionally & psychologically... A Dom or Master needs to have a real good understanding of this, how it works for a sub or slave, otherwise it's not safe ... It is a serious responsibility...

DavidCommaGeek Joined Thu 01/08/15 Posts: 537	Sat 02/21/15 10:42 AM
All I can say on the matter is that I can do without all the ropes, chains, and whips. I prefer to hold my prey down myself.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sat 02/21/15 12:01 PM Edited by no1phD on Sat 02/21/15 12:11 PM
I like to be a top but like to be a bottom... very much prefer to be a switch...mmm.. sure crack the whip gets deleted..lol...hmm.. so how expressive can I be on here.. .. how far can i push you... before you crack... before all that pent up childhood rage.. your frustration with your job... your life choices.... how far must I go to get you to let go of all that.... to get you to trust.. not that I won't hurt you because I will hurt you.... . insert clarification here..lol... ok it's that.. hurts soooo good . kind of hurt...lol..but just so you can trust yourself to let go...yes.ohhh.yes.. just let go baby.. Mhmm... its okay I got you... just let it all go.... I want you to go down on your hands and knees...ok. trust me you're going to like this."

Estelle79 Joined Thu 09/11/14 Posts: 1452	Sat 02/21/15 12:12 PM
It's perverted...not ideal.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sat 02/21/15 12:16 PM Edited by no1phD on Sat 02/21/15 12:17 PM
Ohh... yes it is a little perverted..mmmm.. you may even go as far to say if it's depravity.. .... it's..like eating strawberries .with with with whipcream.... you know it's decadent. .. not something you should have every day... but every now and then. . it is nice.. to just let yourself enjoy.. a little pleasure..no..

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33339	Sat 02/21/15 01:08 PM
Perverse ... Is it really? I've found that a BDSM relationship requires far more trust, respect and insight in one another than a vanilla relationship. A lot of the BDSM scene is psychology, the reasons ppl live it, need it, I mean. And if both get pleasure out of it, why would it be perverse? The things you hide from the rest of the world, but cannot hide from you top, if he/she's good that is. Baring your soul, very scary, but can be very healing as well. Quite a relief even that someone understands that you occasionally crave to behave a certain way or need to be treated a specific way, without being judged. The stories I could tell... Oh wait, I am telling them stories!, in the book I'm writing and hope to publish later on this year

Estelle79 Joined Thu 09/11/14 Posts: 1452	Sat 02/21/15 01:21 PM
Yeah it is perverse, but it's legal.

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Sat 02/21/15 01:26 PM
Perverse ... Is it really? I've found that a BDSM relationship requires far more trust, respect and insight in one another than a vanilla relationship. A lot of the BDSM scene is psychology, the reasons ppl live it, need it, I mean. And if both get pleasure out of it, why would it be perverse? The things you hide from the rest of the world, but cannot hide from you top, if he/she's good that is. Baring your soul, very scary, but can be very healing as well. Quite a relief even that someone understands that you occasionally crave to behave a certain way or need to be treated a specific way, without being judged. The stories I could tell... Oh wait, I am telling them stories!, in the book I'm writing and hope to publish later on this year 50 shades of Crystal

messi_is_a_tim_1888 Joined Fri 11/28/14 Posts: 3309	Sat 02/21/15 01:30 PM
Perverse ... Is it really? I've found that a BDSM relationship requires far more trust, respect and insight in one another than a vanilla relationship. A lot of the BDSM scene is psychology, the reasons ppl live it, need it, I mean. And if both get pleasure out of it, why would it be perverse? The things you hide from the rest of the world, but cannot hide from you top, if he/she's good that is. Baring your soul, very scary, but can be very healing as well. Quite a relief even that someone understands that you occasionally crave to behave a certain way or need to be treated a specific way, without being judged. The stories I could tell... Oh wait, I am telling them stories!, in the book I'm writing and hope to publish later on this year 50 shades of Crystal I told my mate that 50 shades of grey was a porno about pensioners Joe and he believed me! Ha ha ha

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Sat 02/21/15 01:32 PM
Perverse ... Is it really? I've found that a BDSM relationship requires far more trust, respect and insight in one another than a vanilla relationship. A lot of the BDSM scene is psychology, the reasons ppl live it, need it, I mean. And if both get pleasure out of it, why would it be perverse? The things you hide from the rest of the world, but cannot hide from you top, if he/she's good that is. Baring your soul, very scary, but can be very healing as well. Quite a relief even that someone understands that you occasionally crave to behave a certain way or need to be treated a specific way, without being judged. The stories I could tell... Oh wait, I am telling them stories!, in the book I'm writing and hope to publish later on this year 50 shades of Crystal I told my mate that 50 shades of grey was a porno about pensioners Joe and he believed me! Ha ha ha

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33339	Sat 02/21/15 01:37 PM
Perverse ... Is it really? I've found that a BDSM relationship requires far more trust, respect and insight in one another than a vanilla relationship. A lot of the BDSM scene is psychology, the reasons ppl live it, need it, I mean. And if both get pleasure out of it, why would it be perverse? The things you hide from the rest of the world, but cannot hide from you top, if he/she's good that is. Baring your soul, very scary, but can be very healing as well. Quite a relief even that someone understands that you occasionally crave to behave a certain way or need to be treated a specific way, without being judged. The stories I could tell... Oh wait, I am telling them stories!, in the book I'm writing and hope to publish later on this year 50 shades of Crystal Hahaha, I actually kinda like that. So far I got 4 stories for the book, they're not 100% BDSM ... The stories go from vanilla to BDSM and everything in between. They're very erm... descriptive, lol, but turn into love stories as well, so there's a nice balance. It's gotta be exciting but still sort of classy even though it's very descriptive. Currently got a friend of mine proofreading parts of them. She was impressed, so I'm happy :)

Estelle79 Joined Thu 09/11/14 Posts: 1452	Sat 02/21/15 01:53 PM
I think sex is something in between...ideally.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sat 02/21/15 02:20 PM
sex is something in between.. pleasure and pain..?...yes..yes it is..

Estelle79 Joined Thu 09/11/14 Posts: 1452	Sat 02/21/15 02:31 PM
Also, a BDSM relationship? Does that mean the relationship is abusive or that the relationship is just abusive sex?

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33339	Sat 02/21/15 02:36 PM
Do you believe this lifestyle is healthy or not? Yes. As long as both know what they're doing, both physically (safety) as psychology & emotionally. It is a big responsibility, not just some silly game, and one (the dominant party mostly) must be ready, willing and able to handle this responsibility. I agree with Crystal on this, very well said.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sat 02/21/15 02:42 PM
nothing wrong with receiving instructions... it's nice to have someone tell you exactly what to do. . or how to touch yourself.. just knowing that they're getting pleasure..mmm.. I mean to ask somebody to slowly take their hand.. . and run it down their stomach... . and then slowly...ohhh... well you know...