You are completely out of line and talking utter nonsense . I for one enjoy pain with my pleasure and submissive dominant role play . I have never been abused and I am certainly not a victim . You need to stop generalising . Bdsm is what you want it to be and people who practise it have no sexual hang ups as you apparently do . If you want to talk about rape and domestic violence I suggest you start another thread as you are completely off topic and quite frankly insulting anyone who does not conform to your narrow closed views of sexuality .

I once told a girl I liked pain so she branded her name on my butt cheek.
I'll never forget Julie

You are not a victim because you consent to being physically violated? I only question why would someone consent to things that are by definition violating, and why would someone want someone to consent? I question how consent makes something so awful turn into fun and games suddenly? Under the conditions of BDSM I question the sanity and the intentions of the people involved. I have not insulted anyone for their sexual beliefs, but many here have insulted me for my opinions which is what the op asked for, and no one has been offended by those who have insulted me for stating my own opinion. You are doing exactly what you accuse me of, saying that I must have sexual hang ups because I don't seek pleasure in sadistic violence!? Really? I don't think people should conform to my views!? My views are not narrow or closed, in fact they are open and objective. I look at BDSM for what it is and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. If that offends you, I'm sorry because that is obviously not what my intention is. This thread was so that we could discuss different views on BDSM after all!

I have no interest in dominating or being dominated by anyone. This does not compute with me in regards to sexual pleasure. I've seen first hand the personality traits who view this as enjoyable and I can honestly say they're NOT for me in any way shape or form... intimately.

Your opinions are valid Estelle... So are everyone elses.

I love vanilla...it's really delicious, especially French vanilla ice cream with rose petal syrup drizzled over the top..not boring at all..

Correct me if i'm wrong,but isn't there a difference between BDSM and S&M ? I know they kind of go hand in hand,but there are those that enjoy one or the other too. It's important to remember that there are extremes in most things we do,and i know it's already been said,but with a trusting partner,we do have a choice and can always say no...

The SM in BDSM is S&M. Sadism and Masochism.

I love vanilla...it's really delicious, especially French vanilla ice cream with rose petal syrup drizzled over the top..not boring at all..

You make no sense.

Is assisted suicide always wrong?
Aging patient, in pain, Asks Doctor to end their life because they don't want to suffer any longer. The patient CONSENTS that they want the Doctor(Trusted Figure) to end their life, and he CONSENTS to doing the procedure. Some states may argue on the legality or it, others on the morals, some based on religious views, but when it comes down to it, it is a consenting act between doctor and patient.

Things aren't always black and white.

Is it wrong to shoot a person in the head? your first answer is probably YES!,

But now what if this person was holding a gun and firing into a crowded theater is it wrong to shoot him then? Your answer is probably NO!

You can't always look at a action and judge it as "right" or "wrong" without first knowing the circumstances. in which these actions took place.

If you judge BDSM strictly by the action, and not on the circumstances I can (almost) get to decision that you've come to, what you see is a "sub" getting "hurt" and wonder, how can they allow that?!?!? but there is more going on, and you'd have to understand the circumstances and nature which is it's not that they are "allowing" anything it's more that they are "asking" for something.

But as will all moral/ethics there has to be some sort of ruler, to measure against...generally that rules is what "society" dictates is "acceptable"..

Using your own logic, I could apply and older-sense of morals and say that any woman who has sex in the doggie position is being abused. I could state that putting a woman in that position is abuse, because it treats her as an animal, and any woman who allows that is consenting to be emotionally abused and that doggy position should be made illegal for such reasons.

Now that knowing that the doggy position isn't illegal, but could it be? I'd argue yes...when it is done AGAINST someones will....OR when it goes too far...i.e locking a woman up, treating her like a dog 24/7, and taking away any human rights...that's abuse.

Now back to BDSM, is it rape?...legally no..it's consenting therefore it cannot be.

Can it become abuse? When it is taken too far, and human rights are violated yes.

Could it be construed as domestic violence? possibly, if it is taken too far, and/or without consent of one or both parties, circumstances would have to be looked it.


Bottom line: Is BDSM wrong? When it is done with respect for each other, and between two trusting adults I don't believe so.

Could BDSM be bad? Yes...when the mutual respect/trust is gone between parties yes it could end very badly

The term "vanilla" sounds creepy to me...

Thanks Torgo,i thought BDSM was an abbreviation of bondism