just mail me Ill send them

hahaha, they are free!!!!
To all who ask!!!

hahaha

hahahahahaha

I had a really fun weekend. And I got the nude pictures to prove it!!!

I write all the crap I post

When I get lost in your eyes
The world becomes a lighter blue
I can’t speak in anything but in awe sighs
When I look at you
You are more beautiful
Then I think that I deserve
An empty heart made full
I wish I knew some better words

I know I got some work to do
But the weight of the world isn’t as heavy when I’m with you

When you’re sleeping I tear up almost for a second believing in god
Thinking maybe there is a reason I have lived this long
Like a saint you have made a miracle happen with your inner light
I never thought I would love again, Like I love you tonight

I wish I was more eloquent
And deserved your praise
If there is a heaven then you must have been sent
To me so I can be saved
You shine like the sun
But cool me down like the moon
I can feel my heart run
When I am with you

I hope this message doesn’t scare you away
But I am thankful you’re with me everyday

You feel like home
When you are in my arms
I feel like I belong
And ashamed of my scars
You have bright eyes I could live in
And a smile when you are in my embrace
My sunshine life will begin
When I get to see your face

And I hope you let me stay around for a while
I’ve never been happier seeing somebody smile

I haven't smiled for a sometime
You seem to have crossed that line
I am breaking my self imposed rules
Letting myself care about you
My mediocre gray painting
Has been given color other than pain
This feeling goes beyond
the erections, I feel a bond
I am happy to spend my time with you

I lay in the dark and it seems bright
I wish I was holding you tonight
I have got nothing better to do
Than miss you already after i just saw you
your warmth feels good on these tired joints
and I fantasize about your curves and points
You make my heart melt and start to smoke
I mess up my words around you and tell awkward jokes
I am happy to spend my time with you

I've sat alone depressed I can show you the scars
But the world isn't so big and scary when you're in my arms
The TV lights the living room as you slumber and shine
I am taken back by your beauty and that I am holding you for this time
I kiss you on your soft lips then you shift your head and grin
It's hard to control myself when I am touching your skin
I hope that I'm not dreaming and that this moment I'll never forget
The feeling is happy one I'll never regret.
I am happy to spend my time with you.

thank you everyone.

I hate this guy

The weather doesn't quite match up with how I feel today
It's drizzling and sleepy and I am actually feeling Okay
Unlike the rain we've had for the past week or so
I'm feeling needed and wanted for the first time since a long time ago

Am I just psyching my self up for more disappointment?
Am I being raised up just to fall down and lament?
I am being positive and not hating the dark world today
She is like a light making brighter the clouds that are gray

I find myself not being as cautious I should be
I hope she feel the same way as me
When she says she is I hope she isn't lying
She's shines and shows me reasons for not dying
and now I want to live

Misery loves company but so does this odd happiness
Until this point I've been self destructive and depressed
It isn't often I think about someone other than myself
But I am thinking of her warm body pressed against my mouth

I hope this isn't a feeling I'll regret
I put all I got left on one bet
Now that I get outside and exist
I'm just waiting for her next kiss

My neighbor the pig
In his dirty house of twigs
I hear him eat all the time
living in his excrement like swine
His mud over flows
into my yard as the wind blows
I am just a lone wolf
Yelling at him I huff and I puff

I wouldn't eat you little pig
You smell just like your sh1t
The cheese you eat has made you big
But I am angry just not throwing a fit
clean up the yard were forced to share
It looks like a diarrhea war zone
I'll grab your chin and pull out that hair
I just wish this lone wolf could be left alone

My neighbor the pig
with canckles for legs
Eats his weight in slop
Not as high class as the other pig the cop
It's brown and red all on the ground
Around me sh1tting where you eat is not allowed
I am afraid your carelessness will give me disease
I'm already itchy from your fleas

My neighbor the pig
Wants to talk to me I hide behind my wig
Tries to sell me his stuff
To buy more meat for his face to stuff
His fridge is full of his dead friends
Whose lives came to untimely ends
And I the wolf am supposed to be
The monster but it isn't me

Can you think of anything greater than mothers? My mom just sent me a care package and I feel like a sissy momma boy, but god damn I love my momma.

It's been a while
since I have smiled
I am sorry it's hard to commit
It's so different to me
to be happy
when for so long I've felt like sh1t

and I know you deserve better than me
I hope you know not everyone sees me laughing
I've shown myself to you usually I just hide
You're a good reason not to commit suicide

And the blues are much brighter
in the sky and in Tom Waits voice
The sun is much brighter
Now I can see that i have a choice
I am choosing to live again
Standing up for myself
You've been a good friend
By pulling me out of my hell

I've turned from my pride
And stepped back outside
It really can be beautiful to exist
it feels like I'm high
or that maybe I've died
when I hold you or when we kiss

And I know I don't always say the right words
and I speak out loud as the thought occur
usually I am silent hiding black
I'm feeling again since you brought my soul back

As I sit back and stare at my phone
Waiting for your text message to appear
I feel so insecure and alone
wishing that you were here
I just need to tell you I cracked a smiled today
The first in almost a year
Waiting for what you have to say
Coming on too strong is what I fear
but you write back, you're ok

I am sorry you met me at my worst
I wish i would have met you first
I'm so awkward and I over apologize
For being honest I am out of lies
I wish I could fully give my heart but it still hurts
I wish I would have met you first

The picture i was in was almost all gray
you added some green and the sun is yellow again
I never know what quite to say
It's so different to be hoping again
You've been so sweet my teeth are rotting out
and I haven't written any poetry with a smile
usually I just sit alone and pout
It doesn't feel normal to enjoy life for a while

I know I have not fully recovered from the heartbreak
but you are my pain killer treating the symptoms
when I'm around you I don't feel that ache
I never been that good at amorous songs
so I'll just put it plain and clear
I am getting better hanging out with you
I feel like a better person with you here
The last one left me mangled, but I'm rebuilding, healing, getting stronger around you.

In my leg is a pain from chasing a four year old around and wearing slick shoes while wearing a tux. Needless to say I now get to buy really expensive pants. i can't blame the kid, he was being a kid. Oh but how kids are weird, a bunch of the young kids followed me around like I was the pied piper of children, expecting me to play and make funny faces because I kind of looked like a children's show pirate with that tux on. So I played around until I made the parents nervous because I am odd, I mean what 26 year old guy enjoys throwing a ball with a four year old? A damn loser named JT that's who goddamn it. I don't feel though I am a fit role model or playmate for kids, I curse and don't realize it, I drink and smoke and I listen to a cacophonous anarchy that is called punk rock. In the end I got really drunk off some whiskey, locked my keys in my car and woke up at my friends place not knowing where I am. I texted a lady I am growing fond of and I am lucky she isn't as embarrassed by my sissy remarks as I am. Oh what a mess i am. I am like a radio active bomb site destroyed and strangely intriguing, the kids wanna play with me because there is this, "i know this is dangerous and he is much more careless than mom and dad" type of vibe I give off. Maybe I need to grow up, become even more boring and let the idealism die inside, but if I lost that, I think I would cease to exist. **** it I am a ****ed up person, I guess you all are gonna have to deal with that. well off to bed to go to a job where everyone hates me. Someday my revenge will smile at them, but most likely a toothless smile, disgusting but no bite. Goodnight everyone.

yes. But it's not pretty, I maybe good at the naked dance, but it's not pretty to watch.

God damn am I drunk. it's my buddy's wedding and I am a groomsman. I am hit with flashbacks of my own wedding. Drunk is the best I can do.

((myanimalcracker))

god I suck. I quit

Well I search my soul and my thoughts
is cluttered and messed up in there
conflicting ideas is what I got
Where the good ones got put I don't know where
so I drink and pray
kneeling before a porcelain god
is my pain here to stay
Am I just permanently flawed

Moving on will get easier
as I move out of here
I wasn't the one leaving her
I have been filled with too much fear
a broken mirror on the floor
of an unlit bathroom I got bare feet
walking even away never hurt more
You'll know where I've been if you follow where I bleed

An apartment with nothing much in it
it's still hard to move around
it's just a bed, some chairs, and worthless ****
most of my clothes were given or found
My stomach extends even though I don't eat
nothing in here is clean I have no view
It something old a borrowed seat
The only thing new since you left is me feeling blue