only a broken heart could understand
about being torn up when things don't go as planned
I play my love like poker I'm all in
and I've lost it all and I have to start again
stalled in the center lane I guess I should have changed
Instead I think of what I should have checked before I left point my finger at myself I take the blame.

In a corner room where I sit all by myself with a half empty bottle of cheap gin
I don't even own a glass to use it I am truly starting over again
when what I held on to as true was ripped away by selfishness
how can I help but be anything but self loathing and depressed
So I'll put my sunshine feeling on hold for a while
until I find a reason to smile

If I pray hard enough would it make it all a bad dream
A dramatic episode ruined by a relieving scene
cause this show with out her character lacks the substance it had
But for it to just be a dream would make fate just lazy and bad
But in life I have never seen a happy ending that wasn't paid extra for
so perhaps mediocre, boring, no emotion, no darkness, no sunlight is what we are all striving for

I feel this pain from feet to my teeth
I see my scarred exterior and wonder what lies beneath
Is it just jealousy, that some man is better than me
Is it just vanity because she's the one who left me
This cancerous thought just spreads through my brain
and I am left holding the bag no one to talk to or call just to check and see if I have finally gone insane.

(((JT)))

((myanimalcracker))