One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
Battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son,
The battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
Greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment
Inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope,
Serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
Empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute And then asked his
grandfather,
"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Yeah TX,
Just like when I 1st started driving. My Dad made me do the shopping
trip he always hated because my Mom would tell him, then me to pick up
"Cotton Candy" meaning pads and "Lollipops" meaning tampons for her and
my 3 sisters.
It didn't take me long to learn EXACTLY what I needed, where to find
them, and to get in there, grab em and get the hell out of the store :P

Reminds me of that line in the trailer for that "Going to Prison"
comedy. Where the guy is sitting at the bar and the skank with the
head/neck brace tells him "$15 for a lap dance" and he
replies.............
"I just got out of prison, I'm not that horny!" ROTF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LYcsGtPC8Y&mode=related&search

That guy is so awesome! (Carson Williams) You may have seen that house
in a Miller Lite ad.

This year he's doing a whole show at a park, so that his neighborhood
won't be so congested - there was even an accident:

http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/content/shared/oh/news/stories/1207deerfieldlightsweb.html

What a talented guy!

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood
ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm
in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

This is GREAT! God Bless us dern Cowboys!


I ain't much for shopping or for goin' into town
Except at cattle-shipping time, I ain't too easily found.

But the day came when I had to go - I left the kids with Ma.
But 'fore I left, she asked me, "Would you pick me up a bra?"

So without thinkin' I said, "Sure," how tough could that job be?
An' I bent down and kissed her, an' said, "I'll be back by three."

Well, I done the things I needed, but I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing - I worked me up a sweat.

I walked into the ladies shop, my hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn't want to take a chance on bein' recognized.

I walked up to the sales clerk - I didn't him or haw -
I told that lady right straight out, "I'm here to buy a bra."

From behind I heard some snickers, so I turned around to see
Every woman in that store was a'gawkin' right at me!

"What kind would you be looking for?" Well, I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before, "Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gave me a disgusted look, "Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Follow me," I heard her say, like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley where bras was on display.
I thought my jaw would hit the floor when I saw that lingerie.

They had all these different styles that I'd never seen before
I thought I'd go plumb crazy 'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours and bras that cross your
heart.
There was bras that lift and separate, and that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel like you ain'! t wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in when you start off when you're small.

Well, I finally made my mind up - picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, "Bag it up," and figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size … I didn't hesitate
I knew that measurement by heart, "A six-and-seven-eighths."

"Six and seven eighths you say? That really isn't right."
"Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive - I measured them last night!"

I thought that she'd go into shock, musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust was the same as my hat size.

"That's what I used to measure with, I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am." This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered and they all was crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat, to measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured, I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store, tipped my hat ‘n said, "Good day."

My wife had heard the story ‘fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women who called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin' but by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop for women's underwear.
~ Author Unknown

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman
over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining
about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more
interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming
match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they
think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise,
often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women
get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman
over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far
sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and
honest. They'll tel l you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting
like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes,
we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over
40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all
those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for
free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against
marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig
just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!

Yeah Stang! Sheeesh I just turned 47 a couple of weeks ago, PLEASE don't
be telling me 52 is too old !! Besides, though you might not find
romance here you can still make friends and this seems to be a pretty
nice growing "community". I know I've made what I consider some pretty
decent friends and look forward to possibly meeting a few of them in
real life someday! I meet people I've known online quite often and it's
always a blast!
One can never have too many friends you know ;)

OH CL There's a Steeler fan right here! I caught crap all my life
because I didn't root for the Clowns or the Bungles even though I grew
up in Ohio but I grew up just across the border and only about 25 miles
from Pittsburgh in a little town of East Liverpool. Now that I've moved
to Colorado I'm really persona non grata considering the dismantling we
did on the Buncos last year LOL

I answer ALMOST all of the emails I get. The ones from who knows where
with a bio that says she's 20 and a pic you just know she copied and
pasted from some modeling site (not to mention they can't put a sentence
together in real English) get reported and deleted though. As for
distance..... well I figure if a woman wants to be friends I'm always up
for new friends and who knows where it might lead? I don't have the
expectation that any of them might be "the one" but if things hit it off
then distance is just an obstacle to be overcome. I do wish more people
had the courtesy of replying with at least a "not interested" though. An
email isn't like a phone call where you can know if they even saw the
darned thing and I for one hate wondering if someone I was interested in
might have been special but just happened to miss my message. Some say
"it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" but
it's also "better to know they weren't interested from the beginning
than to wonder if they just missed your interest" !

Lovely Tx :)

I would have but work 10 hours today from 7:30-6 :(

I got this in an email and am just pasting the text..........

Something cool that Xerox is doing
If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a
thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier
that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but
it will go to some member of the armed services.
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!
This is a great site.
Please send a card.
It is FREE and it only takes a second.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?
Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there
need to know we are behind them...

and the crowd goes wild !!!!
Great work Tx ! ! :)

I'm printing this off for a special someone!
thanks Snacky !

Lovely ! !
Tis no greater honor than to be called friend!

Hugs and Prayers BG,
Know what you're going through. Lost my best friend after 16 years which
was ancient considering his size but it was one of the worst times in my
life. Will keep ya in my thoughts and hopefully things will get better.
Prayin for it to be something you can be thankful for Thursday even!

bakin a chicken (not a big fan of turkey) and enjoying an extra day off
(while giving thanks for more than just the day off of course!) Might
even sneak in and see if I can snag some of that flyin apple pie at
Ghosts party! LOL

TX you of all people here know most what was going on with me when I
joined and in all likelyhood if it hadn't been for you those first few
days I wouldn't be here at all now. I've "met" and made a couple of good
friends here and enjoy most of the funnin in the posts but agree that
there's some who should learn respect and keep to the topic at hand. If
they want to post something "off topic" then they need to make their own
topic. As for the mean and hateful posts? I don't participate and just
don't understand how anyone finds being that way fun in the first place.
Thanks Tx and all the other good folks here!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get
a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What
does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to
a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the
second
one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."