But at least these people used original music and the display actually
rocks. What hath Clark Griswald started ! ? !

Show this to your children and grandchildren

THE YEAR 1906

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1906.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1906 :
************************************

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved
roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily
populated than California.

With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most
populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents per hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist
$2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and
a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.?

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at HOME.

Ninety percent of all U.S. doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were
condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used
borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their
country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.
Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted
to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at
the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears
the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and
bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."
(Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time
servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

Now I forwarded this from someone else without typing it myself, and
sent it to you and others all over the United States, possibly the
world, in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in
his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

--Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a
headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two " and "Keep
away from children."

--Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support
group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

--Drew Carey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable
job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the
end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."

--Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there is a man on base."

--Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should
treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you,
they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay,
the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when her parents took her out in
the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying
to teach you how to swim.'"

--Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal
skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."

--Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through
my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow
learner."

--Lynda Montgomery

10) "I think I know how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York
said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't
cold enough. Let's go west.'"

--Richard Jeni

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators
would be dead."

--Johnny Carson

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

--Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty
and that's the law."

--Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire
you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to
tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

--Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."

--Oscar Wilde

16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of
Congress. But I repeat myself."

--Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student! At
least they can find Afghanistan."

--A. Whitney Brown

18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a
look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of
that!'"

--Dave Barry

19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was
taken. < BR>
--Unknown, presumed deceased

20) "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have
another beer."

-- W. C. Fields

I ALMOST agree Stang..... I encourage ladies to call me while blocking
their number if they want to talk on the phone at least the 1st few
times we'll talk so they know I'm serious and thinking of the "rules for
online dating" but as for giving a cell # meaning "married"? I only have
a cell and no land line and know quite a few people who have forgone
landlines in lieu of a cell only. It more than suits my purposes and I
never have to worry about missing a call at home (not to mention I only
feel like having one bill for phone service)

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by kids)
(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming.

-- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with.

-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then.

-- Camille, age 10

2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.

-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.

-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE
(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
(1) When they're rich.

-- Pam, age 7
(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with that.

- - Curt, age 7

(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone
to clean up after them.

-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

-- Ricky, age 10

An elderly man in Winklespruit calls his son in Cape Town and says, 'I
hate to ruin your Christmas, but I have to tell you that your mother and
I are divorcing; 35 years of misery is enough.'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in England and tell her,' and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. 'Like heck
they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'
She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are NOT
getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there on Friday. Until then, don't do
a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?' and hangs up.
The old man hangs up and turns to his wife.
'Okay,' he says, 'they're coming for Christmas and paying their own
airfares.'

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are
very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does
sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is
entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.

The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes
the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the
two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over
you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an
orgasm."

They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome
young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But
it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go
back to the rabbi. "Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it
reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave
the towel over them."

Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets
into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man
gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous,
room-shaking screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young
man and says to him triumphantly,

"You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel."

Sad Story from Northern California
Date: 2006-11-25, 9:57AM PST

Stockton, CA (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a
Stockton, CA. courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court
ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law
and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree
possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt
beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with
her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents,
the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child
welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Oakland
Raiders, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

http://www.badgirl1.com/PMS.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsVeWy4QQR0&NR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amv0OnKcWuM&NR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_POuAuoBWY&NR

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching,
so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys
applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied She
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew
a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the
ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good
job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up
your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on
Saturday night.
He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the
rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting
for him.
She quietly called him over to her "Unbutton my blouse and take it
off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my
boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. Now take
off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in
the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands,he
did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town
again, you're fired!"

Can you find the "C" ??? (Good exercise for the eyes!)


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Once you've found the C.........




Find the 6!


9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999


Once you've found the 6...

Find the N! (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

It took me forever to find the N !

too much time on your hands ? LOL

http://www.youtube.com/v/pa_7P5AbUww

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE...


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

blushin here and it ain't good to make a bald man blush ya'll
the neighbors will think the sun came up early !

Hey watch that "normal" pet crack Animal (JK)
just because I have 2 man eating snakes doesn't mean I'm not a regular
pet lover. Wish I could have a dog but the landlord doesn't allow pets
here and I was worried that I couldn't keep Cuddles let alone once I got
Betty but they said the snakes were ok because it's tantamount to
keeping fish since they're in a tank (they pretty much agree with me on
the fact that snakes don't cause the troubles in a rental a warm blooded
pet does)

A Hawaii woodpecker and a California woodpecker were arguing about which
place had the toughest trees. The Hawaii woodpecker said Hawaii had a
tree that no woodpecker could peck. The California woodpecker accepted
his challenge, and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.

The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to
peck a tree in California that was absolutely unpeckable. The Hawaiian
woodpecker expressed confidence he could do it, so accepted the
challenge.

After flying to California, the Hawaii woodpecker successfully pecked
the tree with no problem.

So the two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the Californian
woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian
woodpecker was able to peck the Californian tree, but neither one was
able to peck the tree in their own state?

After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the same conclusion -

Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.

And those of us who haven't don't have the words (they don't exist) to
properly express out gratitude.

Yeah
It's a shame a lot of people don't treat pets any better than they treat
people. The world would be a lot better place if we all felt for each
other the way our pets feel for us.

The Marine stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, Marine,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Marine waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you Marine,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

~Author Unknown~



It's the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us the freedom of the press.

It's the Soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us the freedom of speech.

It's the Soldier, not the politicians
That ensures our right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

It's the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag.



If you care to offer the smallest token of recognition and appreciation
for the Military,
Please pass this on and pray for our men and women
Who have served and are currently serving our country
And pray for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.