Topic: COWBOY POETRY - BUYING A BRA
millsdd's photo
Fri 12/01/06 05:29 PM


This is GREAT! God Bless us dern Cowboys!


I ain't much for shopping or for goin' into town
Except at cattle-shipping time, I ain't too easily found.

But the day came when I had to go - I left the kids with Ma.
But 'fore I left, she asked me, "Would you pick me up a bra?"

So without thinkin' I said, "Sure," how tough could that job be?
An' I bent down and kissed her, an' said, "I'll be back by three."

Well, I done the things I needed, but I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing - I worked me up a sweat.

I walked into the ladies shop, my hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn't want to take a chance on bein' recognized.

I walked up to the sales clerk - I didn't him or haw -
I told that lady right straight out, "I'm here to buy a bra."

From behind I heard some snickers, so I turned around to see
Every woman in that store was a'gawkin' right at me!

"What kind would you be looking for?" Well, I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before, "Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gave me a disgusted look, "Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Follow me," I heard her say, like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley where bras was on display.
I thought my jaw would hit the floor when I saw that lingerie.

They had all these different styles that I'd never seen before
I thought I'd go plumb crazy 'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours and bras that cross your
heart.
There was bras that lift and separate, and that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel like you ain'! t wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in when you start off when you're small.

Well, I finally made my mind up - picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, "Bag it up," and figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size … I didn't hesitate
I knew that measurement by heart, "A six-and-seven-eighths."

"Six and seven eighths you say? That really isn't right."
"Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive - I measured them last night!"

I thought that she'd go into shock, musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust was the same as my hat size.

"That's what I used to measure with, I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am." This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered and they all was crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat, to measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured, I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store, tipped my hat ‘n said, "Good day."

My wife had heard the story ‘fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women who called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin' but by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop for women's underwear.
~ Author Unknown

TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 12/01/06 06:10 PM
ROFLMAO

TEACH THEM TO ASK A MAN TO GET THOSE THINGS LOL

millsdd's photo
Fri 12/01/06 06:23 PM
Yeah TX,
Just like when I 1st started driving. My Dad made me do the shopping
trip he always hated because my Mom would tell him, then me to pick up
"Cotton Candy" meaning pads and "Lollipops" meaning tampons for her and
my 3 sisters.
It didn't take me long to learn EXACTLY what I needed, where to find
them, and to get in there, grab em and get the hell out of the store :P

iceprincess's photo
Fri 12/01/06 06:31 PM
very funny that was cute

sexynurse's photo
Fri 12/01/06 06:45 PM
lmao...liked the poem!!!

herewego's photo
Sat 12/02/06 10:48 AM
very funny mills and that is something that i'd never ask a guy to do
for me.

no photo
Sun 12/03/06 08:28 AM
That is funny, I know. I have this poem as a song in sheet music, which
I have performed at social gatherings. I also have it as a recording by:
Elton Bass, "Tall Texan Studios", Planinview, Texas. Glad ya'll enjoyed
it.