60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman
over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining
about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more
interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming
match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they
think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise,
often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women
get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman
over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far
sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and
honest. They'll tel l you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting
like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes,
we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over
40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all
those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for
free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against
marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig
just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!