Be Inspired

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person:

QUOTE FROM HAROLD

I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?' Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. I do it every day and I really enjoy it.

> Harold Schlumberg; an inspiration to us all.

I never did anything I was ashamed of... I was just agnostic.

That was pretty easy... You really need friends... Huh?

I have never hidden from a human being...

After 4 years of turmoil... I feel like Jonah and the whale. I'm done hiding from god.

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.




With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.





He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"

British Petroleum (BP) rep Randy Prescott shrugged off the oil spill by
saying, “Louisiana isn’t the only place that has shrimp.” Give him a call or shoot him an email. Tell him BP isn’t the only place that has fuel
for your car!

The middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher :

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best "birth" story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students.. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother.. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!




Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!

Thought you would enjoy this little tidbit of info. Surprised the LA Times published these stats.
Just One State - be sure and read the last part.

This is only one State................If this doesn't open eyes, nothing will!



From the L. A. Times
1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County (L. A. County has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes.
This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7... The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
8 Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in L. A. are Spanish speaking.
10. In L.. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish.. (There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County .)

(All 10 of the above facts were published in the Los Angeles Times)

Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States ' annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida, and New York) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.

We are fools for letting this continue

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

Send copies of this letter to at least two other people. 100 would be even better.
This is only one State..............

Are you serious? Cause that royally sucks if it's true...

Hi... I'm Jason... Nice to meet you.

LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT!!!


IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET

1 - A JOB,
2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE,
3 - SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
4 - WELFARE,
5 - FOOD STAMPS,
6 - CREDIT CARDS,
7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
8 - FREE EDUCATION,
9 - FREE HEALTH CARE,
10 - A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
11 - BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
12 - AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT


I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION.

A friend just emailed this to me...

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT,
DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


'My
Fellow Americans: As you all
know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.



Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.



This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now time to begin the reckoning.





Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of
countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict This
list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain
, Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland
are some of the countries listed there.



The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening.



Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first
year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN
EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT
GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.



The American people are no
longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those
government leaders grow fat on corruption.



Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .



In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems
we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations
Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your
friends from the face of the earth.



Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .



I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France , and Russia . Thanks for all
your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO
as well.



I have instructed the Mayor of New York
City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.



A special note to our neighbors: Canada
is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each
other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.



Mexico is also on List 2.
Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry
divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep,
border security.



Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
starting now.



We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling
for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for
decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this
decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.



It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying,
'darn tootin.'



Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around
the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone
on the planet It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final
thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.



To the nations on List 2, a final thought : You might want to learn
to speak Arabic.



God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'



If you can read this in English, thank a soldier.



(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!
Let's get this to every USA computer!)

Holy crap! You even have some of your jsh labeled pics still! I have a couple of my own still too. Welcome back!

You know I always love a good hug...

Problem is not just blocking just one person on here... In the 3 years I've been on Mingle/Just say hi... I have found there are a ton of creeps on here, that most decent... NOT ALL decent women won't bother with having to weed out. They would just rather leave and not deal with it.

Lol!

I talk to you!

I'm getting really tired of all of the disrespectful, idiot perverts on Mingle who ruin opportunities for us decent guys here. It seems like every time I find, or get found by a very decent woman on here... She all of a sudden deactivates her account because some psycho blew up her email. I've talked to a few of them where they start a profile on here with genuine intentions, but wind up running for the hills after only 2 weeks because of the sick things guys email and say to them. I honestly can say I have never had a poor quality exchange with anyone on here, and it sucks when I meet someone potentially very decent, but lose that opportunity because some classless lowlife scared her from ever wanting to come back.

I've heard a lot of people complain about eharmony because they don't accept a whole lot of people. I can see exactly why they have such a high success rate. They weed out all the jerks that ruin a decent idea like internet dating. I hate the fact that the saying... "You get what you pay for." Holds so true!

I've always loved this site... But I wish there was some kind of personality retardation test that could screen out all of the A-HOLES!

You all know what I'm talking about here... How many of you agree with me?

I'm in Texas... I think part of your problem is that on your profile you're saying that you're not really looking for anything long term. That to me says that you're not serious about finding anyone, nor care if you do. Who is going to want to respond to that? Think about it... I hope that helps.