Why do you park in a driveway... And drive in a parkway?

Lol! I love philosophy!

Bigger smile

Diana's Gorgeous

Lazy Sunday

How about now guys?

Way off... Oh wait... No you're not. That was a really old pic. I was part of an art exhibit. My mistake.

Lol! Yes... So far. I think a lot of people here are afraid of the potential fake picless profiles on here? But... I've been here to build a reputation in the forums, and now no one knows who I am. If I put my pic back up I bet people would blossom with responses.

And I've posted many times. I've gotten all kinds of responses, and feedback. Funny thing. My little experiment is that I removed all of my pics, and data from my profile. Now when I post... No one responds, and the normal ones that seemed to follow my threads almost don't seem to recognize me... Lol! It's funny how visual people are regardless to them saying they aren't. I wonder how many on here remember who I am by my screenname, as opposed to my picture? Who here knows who I am in these forums? This is part of my experiment.

Sounds like he's having a hard time finding time in his schedule to get away from his wife... Lol!

Mailing back and fourth with a certain person I met on here... Lol!

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek medical advice from the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr Chang said "OK , take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now get down and craw reery reery fass to odderside of room." Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr Chang then said "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." As she did Dr Chang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad. You have Ed Zachary disease. Wurse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates." The woman asked anxiously "Oh my God, Dr Chang what is Ed Zachary disease?" Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your butt!

I think that is one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard... That's worse than my brothers' "Hot beef injection"... Where he takes a hot dog, and two slim jims and stuffs them into a pepperoni pizza Hot pocket.

All I can say is... Wow! Either this guy thinks you're the stupidest/desperate person in the world... Or he's on some severe drugs? He must not have much luck in life with women because he needs to go get his head checked out. I think what he has... Is called schitzoaffective disorder. He probably never grasped the true aspect of reality. He may not be lying? In his head, he might actually believe what he's told you. To have a story that wild... You need to have a severe imbalance.. Haha!

As comfortable as I am about my sexuality in being straight... That was not cool, and very uncalled for. I hope you're more graceful with women?

New High School Exit Exam

You need only 4 correct to pass.


(Passing requires 4 correct answers)



1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?


2) Which country makes Panama hats?



3) From which animal do we get cat gut?



4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?



5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?



6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?



7) What was King George VI's first name?



8) What color is a purple finch?



9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?



10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?


Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.


Check your answers below





ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) >From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch ? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)

What do you mean, you failed?


(And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!)


Pass this on to some brilliant friends so they may feel useless too.

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please .. Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will

again receive another 'Economic Stimulus'

payment.

This is indeed a

very exciting program, and I'll explain it by


using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an

'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money

that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will

the government get this money ?

A. From

taxpayers.

Q. So the

government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a

smidgen of it.

Q. What is the

purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is

for you to use the money to purchase a


high-definition TV set, thus

stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't

that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some

helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by


spending your stimulus check

wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will


go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to


Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or


China .


* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,


Honduras and Guatemala ..


* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go


to management bonuses and they will

hide it offshore.

Instead, keep

the money in America by:

1) Spending it

at yard sales, or

2) Going to

ball games, or

3) Spending it

on prostitutes, or

4) Beer

or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only

American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Conclusion:


Go to a ball game

with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard


sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank

me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

OLD DOGS !!
>>To my fellow old dogs...
>>
>>One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing
>> rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he
>> notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of
>> having lunch.
>>The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in
>> deep doo-doo now!'
>>Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he
>> immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the
>> approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German
Shepherd
>> exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there
>> are any more around here?'
>>Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack
>> in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the
>> trees..
>>'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That
>> old German Shepherd nearly had me!'
>>Meanwhile, a
>> squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures
>> he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the
>> panther.
>>So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees
>> him heading after the panther with great speed, and figures that something
>> must be up. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther,
>> spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
>>The young panther is furious at being made a fool
>> of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to
happen
>> to that conniving canine!
>>Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther
>> coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do
>> now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his
>> attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get
close
>> enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
>>'Where's that
>> squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!
>>
>>Moral of this
>> story...
>>
>>Don't mess with the old dogs... age and skill will
>> always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with
>> age and experience.
>>

The Italian Secret to a Long Marriage




At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, "I'ma gonna go pick her up."