Government trying to flip a buck any way they can... Lol! I see the comedy in this... Who hasn't toyed with the idea of selling their kids on the black market? Lol! Aparantly this guy took it to the next level... Is anyone really that stupid to try and sell children on a now (government sanctioned) Site? It all started when there were hitmen for hire on there, let alone prostitutes... I can't even find a decent car for sale on there, which is why I always drive new cars.

Is it free like here? Cause free is still better...

You're such the gracious hostess!

Immigrants may not be American citizens... But they come into the U.S. pregnant, and have children, whom are elegible for food stamps, welfare, and other government sanctioned benefits that many of us hard working Americans pay into.

You don't know what you're talking about... There are many whom take advantage of the American system. Just another reason why we are in recession.

This was nominated for best joke of the year - worth sharing. A
Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United
States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and
says, 'Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving
me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!' The
passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'The man goes on and
encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having such a beautiful
country here in America !'The person says, 'I not American, I
Vietnamese.'The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees
he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful
America !'That person puts
up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle
East, I am not American!' He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are
you an American?'She says , 'No, I am from Africa !' Puzzled, he asks
her, 'Where are all the Americans?'The African lady checks her watch
and says... 'Probably at work!'

IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, TOMORROW AT 11:30 AM,
YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE

Tickle Me Elmo:

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes The Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and
> most of the
> night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender
> says, 'You'll
> not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies,
> 'OK Mick, I'll
> be on my w ay then'.
>
>
>
> Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls
> flat on his
> face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the
> stool and dusts
> himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls
> flat on his
> face,
>
> Shoite !'
>
> He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he
> can just get to
> the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly
> crawls to the door
> and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head
> outside and takes
> a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a
> step out onto
> the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
>
> 'Bi'Jesus.... I'm fockin' focked,' he
> says.
>
> He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to
> the door,
> hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and
> shim mies inside. He
> takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin'
> way'. He crawls up the
> stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to
> the bed'. He takes
> a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says
> 'Fock it' and
> falls into bed.
>
> The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room
> carrying a cup of
> coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to
> drink last night
> ?'
>
> Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But
> how'd you know?'
>
> 'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the
> pub.'

'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.

I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of yo ur mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.

$500 sneakers for what?

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2?

Where were you when he was 12?

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?

And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes o n backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .....

I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.

I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands. The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap... and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.

Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.



WELL SAID, BILL

It's NOT about color...

It's about behavior!!!

PASS THIS ON AROUND THE WORLD!!!!!!

Think before you speak...


Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' - I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY :
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'


THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.. - To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked
my seven- month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No' . I kept thinking, 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said,
'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' - 'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled, 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' -- While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember
we all say things we don't really mean,so think before you speak!!!!!

You sound a little frustrated?

Sorry... I've had forty-some emails in the last few days. I always try to respond to all of them... But sometimes get interrupted, and miss a few. Honest mistake. And thank you for your compliment!

Thanks Micaila... I appreciate that!

Hey! What email do you speak of? Resend it please?

Hi... I'm Jason. Nice to meet you. As far as I know, without a doubt, I'm one of those rare few men left in the world. And yes... Because of my good nature, I too get attacked constantly. What they don't realize... Is I believe in equal respect. I treat them nice. If they treat me the same in return, The sky is the limit. If they treat me poorly... They just lost a great thing.

The ninja would totally kick that Spartan's a$$!

Nope... Never had that problem. I would dread the day it ever happened though!

Love...

What's soo special about the upgrade anyway?

Maybe he thinks women are all about money?