Everyone is looking for something different from a relationship, but in order to work out it has to be natural and fun. Demanding a phone call every day is going a little far. You don't really want your man to be calling you out of "duty" anyway. I think he saw a red flag there, and I don't think he was wrong in backing off. I obviously don't know everything about the situation, but your post makes me feel like you are very insecure. Calling, texting, and emailing him constantly right now is actually doing the opposite of what you would want - it's making you look desperate and needy. Give your guy a little room, leave him wanting more, don't call him until he calls you, and give him a little time to miss you and think about you. Only you and he know for sure whether this relationship can be salvaged, but that advice applies to the future, too.

ak0 - I'm not really sure where you're going... He hasn't acted at all like I have to pay, and he's definitely not girly in the least. Obviously, he can afford it, but I'm an independant woman who can, too. I think he's secure enough that I won't be insulting his manhood if I pick up one bill. If I offer and he wants to pay anyway, then no harm done.

I like that suggestion Gypsy

Thanks for all the imput guys... He is older, but definitely not one of those people who thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen. Like you said Islandking, I mostly want to make sure he knows I'm not just in it for what I can get out of him. I'm pretty sure me picking up the tab, especially since he hasn't acted like I have to, will accomplish that. Now I'm definitely going to go for it where ever we end up next time.

Thanks for the advice Deana and everyone else, that really helps. For Mimx... I guess I should clarify what I mean by "casually seeing". It's not a friendly, hanging out kinda thing. The only reason I say casual is that we haven't specified that we're exclusive, but there is definitely much more than friendship going on already.

I guess I am kinda wondering about that whole "hunter" thing. He is older and hasn't given an indication that he expects me to pay for anything, so I can't decide if it would take away from the feeling that he is pursuing me or if he would like it. Can any guys out there give me some insight?

I have been casually seeing a guy for about 2 or 3 weeks now. The first night we met he picked up my tab at the bar, and he's been pretty much paying for everything we do together since. He pays the bill automatically at dinner, he has paid for all of our activities when we went out on dates, he buys all the drinks, etc. While I think it's very nice, I feel strange that I haven't treated him to anything and I'm not sure if I should offer to pay. Would it be offenive or weird if I pulled out my wallet the next time we go to dinner? I'm not sure how to go about it or what the proper etiquette is for this... Any suggestions or tips?

You're in a great place. I say have fun with it. Unless you really have the urge to settle down with one of them, enjoy them all. If you don't have a reason to commit, then don't. As you know from the dy spells, it doesn't always work out like that. Four nice, great guys is not that bad.

If you really do want to pick, I would say go with the one who you find yourself thinking about in the morning. The person that gives you the biggest smile when you see that they're calling. You can try to rationalize it out in your head all you want, but usually it's that feeling in the pit of your stomach that will really let you know.

I don't know about the whole "I love you" thing. I think a relationship should be exclusive before that even hits the table.

I first thought... of course I've been on a date. But then I thought about it, and if a "date" is going out with someone you don't really know that well with the intent or purpose of starting a relationship then I probably haven't.

I have gone out with guys I had already had a relationship with, or hung out with a friend who turned into more. I have never set up an official "date" with someone just to get to know them and see if we clicked in a romantic way.

I don't think it's a matter of treating us like we're not intelligent. I just think it really makes them feel good to be a "teacher". I say if it's offensive let him know how he's making you feel. He may not even know he's doing it. Otherwise, if you don't mind be "taught" a few things, just stroke his ego and let him show you how to do a few things or give you a little advice. It probably makes him feel needed and worthy of being with someone much younger. He might be feeling insecure and like he needs to prove he's got something good to offer.

It really depends on the type of woman. I will flirt and tease and send pretty clear signals to a guy that I'm interested in, but I want them to make a move. Someone who is too timid of afraid to talk to me just doesn't work because I want to be able to get to know the person. I am an in your face kinda girl, too, but I need to feel some sort of vibe or energy back. Otherwise, it just falls flat, no matter how cute he is.

It sounds to me like you guys are just going in circles. You might have a nice connection sometimes, but you obviously are not on the same page. It might just be time to find a newer pasture to graze in a little while. You should go have fun and meet new people and enjoy yourself. No use playing the waiting game with this guy because you two are toying with each other. It's a recipe for disaster.

I don't say that lightly, because I know a position like that is hard. I have a really great connection with a guy and we talked multiple times a day for quite a while without making it more because of complications with our relationship statuses (I was recently separated, he was dealing with a custody thing). When you have an instant spark with someone that doesn't develop into more right away it can cause some weird issues. Now you guys have been friends more than you have been flirting and you both have plenty of mixed signals and insecurities about the other. Friendships turn into more all the time, but it is VERY hard to fluctuate back and forth between "more than friends" and "just friends" without losing the initial fire. If you're looking to start a new relationship you want to have passion and trust from the beginning, not a lot of uncertainty and confusion.

That has happened to me before... I think it usually a sign that whatever you thought you had wasn't actually there. It hurts a little and it is definitely confusing, but it's better to find out he's a flake after a few dates than to get too involved. Usually it either it means he's distracted easily, he wasn't ready for what you had to offer, or he was only interested in sex and it was taking too long to get it. No matter what the reason, I wouldn't blame yourself.

I have also been on the other side of this. I admit I have let the busyness of my life as a full-time student and full-time office manager mask the true reason I no longer have time to go out with someone. When I did the disappearing it was really all about the level of committment I felt. If there is no mention of being exclusive and there is no real committment there doesn't necessarily have to be a "break up"... what exactly is there to break up? You go on a few dates, think he's funny or cute on the first few, then realize something just doesn't work. I think in that case it's easier to let things fizzle out rather than creating some big scene.

Age differences are a funny thing. I think people generally make more of a big deal out of them than is necessary. Who is to say what difference age really makes? I have met plenty of older people who act like children and teenagers who have it more together than people twice their age.

I am a little biased in this area because I have recently been getting back into the dating game and find myself gravitating towards older men. I am 22 and my last two flings have been with a 36 year old and a 43 year old. The last one is actually just starting... I met him through a mutual friend at a bar last Friday and we ended up talking and flirting and playing darts and enjoying witty banter. Next thing I knew it was last call, he was picking up my tab, walking me to my car, and there was quite a bit of heaving "making out".

I admit it was a little wierd when I realized he was 21 years older than me... that's almost my whole life! :) But I still find him sexy, intellectually stimulating, and fun to be around. We are walking that fine line between naughty and nice, and I find his attitude very refreshing. He was the one holding back, he is very sweet and wants to be a "gentleman", and he is insisting on a real date, but at the same time there is that wonderful sexual tension between us. At first I wasn't sure I wanted anything more than just a few fun encounters that could end with great sex. But our first phone conversation lasted almost an hour and a half and I find it incredibly easy to talk to and connect with him. He's only 3 years younger than my dad, but when I think about him as a person without the label of age I don't see any reason that I shouldn't continue to find out where this might go.

I think it totally depends on the context in which you had the initial contact and what kind of response you felt like you had from her. If the "talk" was online, it could be a little weird to give her your number right away because you don't want to come off as sleazy.

On the other hand, if you feel that the connection was mutual and she is interested, putting yourself out there isn't bad. A lot of women want to feel at least a little pursued. Giving her your number lets her know that you were impressed by her and it puts the power in her hands. She can decide what she wants to do, and you might be pleasantly surprised once you take that leap. For me a guy who is too tentative to take those first few steps loses my interest fast.

1. House (Dr. House (Hugh Laugrie) is majorly hot - love the intelligence and the attitude)
2. Bones (Socially arkward scientists and great chemistry between Brennan and Booth)
3. The Big Bang Theory (I just love this new show... every episode makes me laugh. If you haven't seen it yet you HAVE to)

I don't know... I am 22 and I feel like I don't really fit anywhere on the conventional age scale. I have gotten respect and been taken serioudsly very early on in life because I have always been "mature for my age". I actually think I would like to just be young and carefree a little bit more. Being respected is great, but it's really not something that you should sacrifice youth for. Everything comes in its own time, so just enjoy what you have now.