Ok, so this is going to be a bit of a long story.

About 6 years ago, I met this guy online. We talked online for about 2-3 weeks and then I gave him my phone number and we chatted daily for about 2 years. I did go and meet him once and it was nice, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. It wasn't the right time in my life, yadiya, after the 2 years we get in a big fight because I won't take it to the next level.

We don't talk for about 2 years and then he ends up emailing me and seeing how I am doing. He is still thinking about me. crazy. Anywho, I am still not looking for a relationship and we stop talking almost immediately.

So, now skip ahead another 2 years. It is last month and I am finally ready for a relationship and I am actively looking for a mate. Out of nowhere, he shows up online. Now, mind you, in these 2 years, I have not seen hide or hair of him. We start talking over the phone immediately, it is like there has been no gap in our lives, and we are out on a date. I am shaking, nervous, and crazy about him. I always have been, but couldn't act on it before.

We are talking everyday, 2-3 times a day, and 3 weeks later, he just bails on me. He tells me that he doesn't feel the same way he felt before and doesn't want to continue on with me. I am devastated, but move on. Almost 2 weeks later, he texts me. I ask him why he is. he calls, "are you mad at me again?", I tell him no, and then he proceeds to tell me that it has been strange not talking to me and he misses it. He then tells me how sexy and hot I am. What the hell????

So, tell me, What is REALLY going on?

ya snooze ya lose........

Then why is he calling again?

because he's horny?

Maybe, but he never talks like that to me. It's like he is wooing me all over again.

Ever heard the term 'mixed messages'?

He's waiting for you to stomp on his heart AGAIN.

No matter what he told you...no matter you telling him 50 000 times you don't want a relationship, you gave him mixed signals.

Geez...why dont you just club him over the head, and drag him back to the cave.


I think this is hilarious...

"I'm ready now"..6 years later.

i had the similar thing happen to me but a little differnt, long story..but found out hes dating someone else like a month after we broke up, wouldnt talk to me, etc..i'll NEVER take him back..no way! i had deep feelings for him too..but he was messed up..couldnt even talk to me..how immature is that? i'll never take him back..plenty of fish in the sea, my friend!!

It sounds to me like you guys are just going in circles. You might have a nice connection sometimes, but you obviously are not on the same page. It might just be time to find a newer pasture to graze in a little while. You should go have fun and meet new people and enjoy yourself. No use playing the waiting game with this guy because you two are toying with each other. It's a recipe for disaster.

I don't say that lightly, because I know a position like that is hard. I have a really great connection with a guy and we talked multiple times a day for quite a while without making it more because of complications with our relationship statuses (I was recently separated, he was dealing with a custody thing). When you have an instant spark with someone that doesn't develop into more right away it can cause some weird issues. Now you guys have been friends more than you have been flirting and you both have plenty of mixed signals and insecurities about the other. Friendships turn into more all the time, but it is VERY hard to fluctuate back and forth between "more than friends" and "just friends" without losing the initial fire. If you're looking to start a new relationship you want to have passion and trust from the beginning, not a lot of uncertainty and confusion.

Open your eyes, don't walk but run.

It will never come to be, when I person acts the way he did.

sounds like mind games girl....stop while you can

I think troublemaker has it... You 2 can never live a happy life, because at one point you were not ready and he was.. and now he's waiting to be hurt.. but in the end, maybe he's also trying to make you see what you put him thru. Whether he knows he's doing it or not.

I think you should just let it go, let him go. I have this friend, that he and i spent a few months together. He never wanted a relationship, just what we had. And I wanted more. I was in love with him, even his attitude and all that.. and he wanted just friendship. So end of July I tell him, look, if we aren't going to go onward, then I need to find someone that does want more than friendship... And I ended it.

Since then.. here it is Nov.. and I still get im's and texts from him, saying that he misses me. And wants me. And I would take him... but he doesn't want me as I want and need... So I ignore him. or tell him things that make him mad... because I am better than that.

And so are you!! Let him go. Find someone new.

lol.. let me add on to this.. i think i missed something... lol

So I ignore him. or tell him things that make him mad...to get him to leave me alone... because no matter what i say.. he comes back couple days later and starts it all over... I am better than that ....

I think maybe at one time the relationship could have worked BUT you played around way to long. In all reality its your faulth that this is going on...did you really think this man was going to wait for you forever? I truly think that when your together once and it doesn't work out, things are never the same. If it doesn't work the first time and you try it the second time, feelings are going to change.
I just think you need to tell him to stop calling because his feelings have obviously changed. Sure he can sit there and say you are sexy and hot, but maybe he just wants sex? Maybe he likes the connection in bed but not the connection outside of the bedroom? It could just be a lust realtionship on his part, if so...its never going to develope into a loving one!!
Good luck and move on

Relationship are so difficult to figure out. It would be nice if life was simple.

ITA with troublemaker. Geez, I wish I were as mature as you when I was 22!

Thank you everyone for your input and seeing that the overwhelming majority say let him go and move on, I am thinking that that is the right thing to do. sigh. I will erase his number yet again. lol