Q:whats the difference between a blond and a mosquito?
A: after you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking.

Q:whats a blond's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: hump me dump me.

Q:did you hear about the new blonde paint that just came out?
:its not very bright but it spreads really easy.

Q:what did the blond say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?
A: are you sure it's mine?

Q: what does a blond do, after a battered wives meeting?
A: the dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Q:if a blond and a brunette jumped off a building who would land first?
A: the brunette, cause the blond would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: how can you tell if a blond has used your computer?
A: there is white out on the screen.

Q: how many blond's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100, one to hold the light bulb, and 99 to turn the house.

Q:what do you call 10 blond's in a freezer?
A:frosted flakes.

Q:how can you tell if a blond had a bad day?
A: she has a tampon behind her ear, and can't find her pencil.

Q:why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?
A:she threw away all of the W's.

Q: how do you kill a blond?
A:put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Q:how do you get a blond pregnant?
A: fuc* her, stupid!

wow! that is twisted!

Darwins law? is that survival of the fittest? or go with murphy's law anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Either way blowing yourself up with your own grenade is embarrassing but doing it while wearing a grass wig is even more embarrassing. wonder what he was thinking? why sit there and wait for the grenade to explode.lol

the lone ranger and his faithfull indian sidekick tonto go into a saloon. They had been sitting there for about 10 minutes when a cowboy walks up to the lone ranger and says "is that your white horse tied up outside"? the lone lone ranger replies "yes it is, why?" the cowboy says "that poor horse is out there dying from the heat"! so the lone ranger tells tonto to go outside and run around the the horse and fan it. so tonto does. About 10 minutes later another cowboy walks up to the lone ranger and says "is that your white horse tied up outside"? the lone ranger replies " yes it is, let me guess my horse is dying from the heat"? the cowboy says "no, i just wanted to let you know, you left your injin runnin".

A white man hires an indian tracker to find large game. The white man tells the indain tracker "show me your worth the money i paid you". The indian tracker puts his ear to the ground and says"buffalo come"! and the white man says "how do you know"? the indian tracker replies "ear sticky"!

I imagine myself
with staggering wealth
swagger and stealth
large dagger saggin
from a black leather belt
slicing myself, dicing myself
just so i know for myself
i myself am felt
defying life,un-dealing the cards that im dealt
I've been concealing myself
un-feeling the feelings that i feel have been felt
but really I'm stealing life in itself
i lie to myself
so i can die to myself
there is pain and strife
in this hype about health
so i slice so tight
that the knife itself melts
i fight for the righteous light
sometimes despite life itself it helps

some say it's the drugs that i'm on
i needed more hugs from my mom
or the fact both of my parents are gone
I haven't the been able to mourn
been hurting 27 years long
the pain started the day i was born
please believe I've felt a woman's scorn
and i swear that I've sworn
I'm the reason my heart has been torn
it's worn and I've been warned
about the cause of the storm
the pain of the thorn, stuck in my palm
even when the storm is beyond calm
it still intends you harm
whether its a pill up your nose
or a needle in your arm
I'm still greedy with charm

the door has been locked behind ya
i don't mind to find ya
cause my love has defined ya
but i kinda mind the
time it took to blind ya
the rhyme it took to rewind ya
i find in due time the
lines i use to rhyme some
kinda lined up
the time i took to find love
so define love
remind my mind when the time was
when your love was mine cause
my mind can only find the two timed love
you gave me when you signed up

I'm here to say, it'll be ok
it'll be alright, regardless the fights
in lieu, of the lonely nights
its truth, filled with phony lies
eyes filled, with homely cries
the bonds that ties
but, that wells run dry
and that high, this guy
one regret, two sighs
when ya try to deny the lie
and you show strength, defy the guy
defy gravity, cause damn it he
is slandering, now imagine he
magically realizes,the multiple disguises
and he surprises, beats fate, defies it
gives up the drugs just to try it
and comes off some love,kisses and hugs
will you buy it?
does it change whats done?
nah, but your strong, and you already know
ya can't go back.
can ya digg it?

I have to figure out what i am
try to realize why i don't give a damn
i see it right in front of my eyes
I strayed from the plan
I care about the whole of my family
I know my role in this family
but I just don't

I had a drug habit since i was 13
I did drugs because i was hurting
it followed me into high school
I was a cool, fool
everyone else was doing real good
when i was was just doing real good(drugs)
they were saving dollars for college
i was saving dollars for dope, I'll admit it

15 years old, doing my thing
got me and a girl, she wearing a ring
she'd sleep in my bed, right in my house
so we did our thing quite as a mouse
my parents are in the next room
she ain't even supposed to be there
but I love her, I know I do
we'll be together forever i know its true
plus she said she loved me too

getting ready to turn 16
she's turning 18
I got sent away, can't stay for the pregnancy
I'm stuck in juvi jail
and juvi's don't get bail

I turned 18, got kicked loose
went back to the old neighborhood
in search of you two
I found you! the both of you
now I can start my life
and make her my wife
hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

boy, what a dummy
i actually thought it would work
but when i was gone, you quit caring
ran off and already got married
my sons 2 years old and i don't even know him
nowhere to be found while up he was growing
and now emotions are showing'
anger exploding

Ok, this is my fault, i can make this right
i can win this fight, because we love each other. right?
right?
things just aren't the same, as when we were kids
Were fighting
your accusing me of cheating again
I'm accusing you of being with men
we get along for a minute
then were fighting again
your screaming "be a dad"
I screaming "be a mother"
and now here comes, Marino's baby brother
things are not getting any better
I'm cheating with your sister heather
you and me got 3 kids together
I got 3 kids at the age of 21
I'm not working were barely surviving
I'm doing drugs, drinking and driving
your just drinking
I don't know what the hell we were thinking
just built this ship, it's already sinking

I'm 27 now
we were together on and off, for many a year
we have both shed many a tear
so lend me an ear, cause in me is fear
and plenty of beer
a ton of pills, and the ending is clear

whats it called when you have a fear of being afraid?

Obama is only black on the outside, he has got to be the whitest black guy i have ever seen!

A local man recently had a civil protection order petitioned against him in order for the the biological mother to take custody from him of their 11 yr old son, all of the allegations for the basis of the protection order were drummed up, for a lack of better words. when the order of protection was served and the mans son taken from him(the minor child put up a fight against the police that were taking him from his father and returning him to a neglectful mother). 3 days later the mother falsified a police report stating the man had violated the protection order by calling her cell phone. The Bucyrus police department, with nothing more than a bogus statement(no actual evidence) issued a warrant for the mans arrest. The domestic violence laws, are so one-sided that it only takes the word of a person, to have the other party arrested. Because of these laws, the man lost his 11 year old son, and the boy was given to his mother who neglects him, and abuses him and the father was later jailed. All on the lies of a vengeful person. This is the due process that is in place to assure justice. It's a joke.

some of G. Bush's words of wisdom on religon. He may be an idiot, but he is my favorite idiot.

We love the fact that people can worship an almighty God any way they see fit here in America.
-- Here is Dubya on Sept. 28, 2002, demonstrating his inability to separate his own beliefs from the meaning of "freedom of religion"

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself.
-- South Carolina, Jan. 14, 2000

Our enemies fear a society which is pluralistic and open to worship an almighty God.
-- Sounds like, "America is great because our God is better". East Room, White House, Oct. 26, 2001

Like the good folks standing with me, the American people were appalled and outraged at last Tuesday's attacks, and so were Muslims all across the world.
-- At Washington, DC mosque, addressing the American Muslims standing behind him as if they were a separate group from the American people, Sept. 17, 2001

This is a new kind of, a new kind of evil. And the American people are beginning to understand. This crusade, this war on terrorism, is going to take a while. And American people must be patient.
-- Stoking the anxieties of Muslims worldwide, who don't exactly associate good things with the word "crusade". Washington, D.C., Sept. 16, 2001

Thou shalt not kill" is pretty universal. (School) districts ought to be allowed to post the Ten Commandments, no matter what a person's religion is.
-- GOP Debate in Johnston, Iowa, Jan. 16, 2000

I'm sure there is some kind of heavy doctrinal difference, which I'm not sophisticated enough to explain to you.
-- Explaining the complex issues involved in his switching from attending a Episcopal church to attending an Methodist one

My pro-life position is I believe there's life. It's not necessarily based in religion. I think there's a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
-- Quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 23, 2001

Our priorities is our faith.
-- Greensboro, North Carolina, Oct. 10, 2000

We live in a culture of moral indifference, where movies and videos glamorize violence and tolerance is touted as a great virtue.
-- Texas A&M University, Apr. 6, 1998

I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state.
-- Speaking to reporters, Jan. 29, 2001

And we'll be tough and resolute as we unite, to make sure freedom stands, to rout out evil, to say to our children and grandchildren, we were bold enough to act, without tiring, so that you can live in a great land and in a peaceful world. And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail. -G.Bush
-- Labor Department, Oct. 4, 2001

I couldn't agree more, but what do we do to those people that make threats of death, or make good of their threats? we hold them accountable. We don't just tell their targets,"hey, this person wants to kill you in the name of their god, so you had better run and hide".

To further prove my point, hypothetically speaking If i disagreed with someone for any trivial reason and I more or less ordered their death whether it be in a magazine or verbally in public, no one would advise my target to move and change their name. I would be brought up on charges, and convicted. I would most likely spend the rest of my life in prison. But, this guy happens to be a cleric and of the Muslim faith. So apparently, it would be a real bad idea, to hold him accountable like every other person in this world. hell, our troops tracked Sadaam Hussein all over the place until they pulled him out of a hole in the ground, and then turned him over to his own people just to be murdered, so why are we are going to walk on egg shells for this cleric? why don't we hold him to the same standards as everyone else, American or otherwise. It strikes me as odd. In my opinion, death threats are death threats, and murder is murder no matter what language it is in and no matter what faith it is for.

it really has nothing to do with being a christian, my point was simply this, people not just this one cleric are publicly making hit lists and making threats towards americans everyday. We have two choices either run and hide like the Goverment suggested the cartoonist do, or show these arrogant extremists we are not going to be bullied just because they don't like what we say or do. It's to the point the Goverment says just go run and hide. That is truely pathetic. At the first sign of weakness or instability, anyone that has a problem with america will attack us or start killing us because we would rather hide, than stand our ground. what are we supposed to do when we run out of hiding places, and our Goverment is still too timid to protect its people?

The term "peacefull muslim" seems to be an oxy-moron. Jesus Christ our lord and savior, is belittled and ridiculed all over the world, and our response is, everyone is allowed to have their own beliefs and opinions. Everyone will have to answer for their own evils. If a person cannot draw a simple picture, of whatever(including the god of another religon) without fear of reprisal, then the world really has become a horrible place. I say don't send innocent people into hiding because certain people don't like their thoughts or ideas, that is simply idiotic! I say make the people who are making the threats, want to hide! Are we really going to allow these people to send us into a shameful world of fear, to the point where people have to hide and change their identity. If our Goverment is going to allow this kind of intimidation to happen, what kind of security do Americans really have? This is why i liked Bush being in office. His take on the situation was, they threatened our freedom and way of life and our feeling of safety, then lets go over there and blow s**t up till they back off. when is enough going to be enough? So I invite Americans everywhere to "stand up in defense" of what makes America the land of the free and the home of the brave! Our safety is being threatened, so we have a duty to target those who target us. -Proud to be an american

your intrigued by my desire
my passion and my fire
but to you, I'm nothing more than a spare tire
you keep me in the back
till the one you've got goes flat
then you want me back
before that, i didn't mean jack
s**t, i keep falling for it
cause it seems my situation keeps calling for it
I've been balling for it
now it's my time, I'm next in line
but hold up,I've done told ya
this is the same old you
the same bold, cold you
I've always felt like the worst of you
was the best of me
now, my hearts testing me
so, lets just see
if the real me, the me I've been concealing
can shake that F**king feeling
break the endless cycle of self-destructive behavior
help myself, be my own savior

depends on the girl i guess,lol. i have met a few women that i would go half on a baby with.

that is awesome, lol.