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Topic: another Joke
Apple of Your EYES's photo
Tue 03/22/22 01:21 AM
Sam called his wife and said to her in a weak voice, "Hey baby, I was driving to a coffee shop to meet Mary when all of a sudden, a stray dog came in the way. I tried to steer left to avoid running it down, but the car skidded due to high speed, rolled over and almost ran off the cliff. The car was hanging nose down over the cliff, as I looked down fearing impending death. I just managed to climb out of the car and save my life, just before the car fell over the cliff crashing thousands of feet below and was blown into smithereens."

Sam continued, "I was taken to a hospital. I have a broken leg, broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and several injuries on my head."

There was silence on the phone, then the wife asked, "Who is Mary?":confused::sweat_smile:


note:i would not care with anything else...i just heard the name Mary lol

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Tue 03/22/22 01:47 AM
Three University students dodged exam because they did not study, They came up with a plan, got themselves dirty using grease, then went to see the Lecturer” Sir we are sorry we couldn't make it to the exam.

We attended a wedding and on our way back the car broke down and we became so dirty as you can see".

The Lecturer understood and gave them three days
to prepare. After three days, they went to the Lecturer very ready for the exam because they had studied.
The Lecturer decided to put them in three separate classes with only four questions in the exam paper as follows:
1. Who got married? (25 marks)
2. Where was the reception held? (25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break down?
(25mks)
4.What type of car broke down? (25mks)

Marking scheme: your answers must be the same.!!!
As we speak, they are still in the exam hall writing! :joy::smile:藍藍:stuck_out_tongue::stuck_out_tongue:

No, they all failed as they are still attempting because the lecturer is beautiful sexy:grin::grin::grin:

:grin:NICE:grin:

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Thu 03/24/22 07:20 AM
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth.
In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their Daughter's' date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be
when he grows older?"
The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our future son-in-law."🤣🤣🤣

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Thu 03/24/22 08:14 AM
As the first grade teach bent over to pick up an eraser, little Joey started to giggle. "Teacher, I just saw your stockings."

The teacher replied, "You will stay in for recess with that remark."

Later, she bent over to pick up a piece of chalk as little Mikey began to giggle, "Teacher, I just saw your knees."

The teacher demanded he go to the office immediately for that remark. Still later she bent way down to pick up a piece of paper and little Johnny began to clean out his desk and head for the door. Teacher asked Johnny where he was going.

He replied, "Teacher, I see my school days are over.". :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Thu 03/24/22 08:21 AM
As the first grade teach bent over to pick up an eraser, little Joey started to giggle. "Teacher, I just saw your stockings."

The teacher replied, "You will stay in for recess with that remark."

Later, she bent over to pick up a piece of chalk as little Mikey began to giggle, "Teacher, I just saw your knees."

The teacher demanded he go to the office immediately for that remark. Still later she bent way down to pick up a piece of paper and little Johnny began to clean out his desk and head for the door. Teacher asked Johnny where he was going.

He replied, "Teacher, I see my school days are over.". :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Johnny an I seems from same school.. :grin:

N:grin:I:grin:C:grin:E

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Thu 03/24/22 12:26 PM
Johnny an I seems from same school.. :grin:

N:grin:I:grin:C:grin:E

Haha..might be

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Thu 03/24/22 04:09 PM
``` Effect of Whatsapp on the English language

Peter & Laxmi on Whatsapp :

Peter : Hi dear.

Laxmi : :raised_hand:

Peter : How are you .??

Laxmi : :blush::thumbsup:

Peter : missing me..?

Laxmi : :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::wink:

Peter : I'm not feeling well...

Laxmi : :scream:

Peter : How was your day..???

Laxmi : :ok_hand:

Peter : are you busy.??

Laxmi : ✔

Peter : Why ?? What are you doing ??

Laxmi: :lipstick::nail_care:

Peter : is there anyone near you..??

Laxmi : :x:

Peter : why don't you reply in words? Why are you using smiley faces?

Laxmi :- :disappointed_relieved::rage:

Peter : I heard you failed in English ??

Laxmi:
Who telled you ? It is unpossible.. I went to saw the resalt yestathey...
I Passed away

Peter :
hmmm lets go back to smileys pls
:flushed::flushed::flushed:

Laxmi:-
ok dear,
God blast you.
:joy::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::joy::laughing:```

IUBasketball's photo
Fri 03/25/22 04:30 PM
A wife gives her husband two ties for his birthday.
He puts one of them on and shows his wife and she says what's wrong with the other one.

no photo
Sat 03/26/22 03:59 AM
As the first grade teach bent over to pick up an eraser, little Joey started to giggle. "Teacher, I just saw your stockings."

The teacher replied, "You will stay in for recess with that remark."

Later, she bent over to pick up a piece of chalk as little Mikey began to giggle, "Teacher, I just saw your knees."

The teacher demanded he go to the office immediately for that remark. Still later she bent way down to pick up a piece of paper and little Johnny began to clean out his desk and head for the door. Teacher asked Johnny where he was going.

He replied, "Teacher, I see my school days are over.". :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

:kissing_heart: you got nice knees teach:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Sun 03/27/22 08:52 AM
A wife gives her husband two ties for his birthday.
He puts one of them on and shows his wife and she says what's wrong with the other one.

:grin::grin::grin::thumbsup:

That's why I prefer to remain single.
after listening such real rumours :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Sun 03/27/22 08:54 AM
:kissing_heart: you got nice knees teach:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Johnny look our school senior students... Mike Sir :grin::eye::eyes::eye:

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Mon 03/28/22 08:00 AM
I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door, you'll never get in there."

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Mon 03/28/22 08:22 AM
Edited by Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ on Mon 03/28/22 08:25 AM
I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door, you'll never get in there."

N:grin:I:grin:C:grin:E

Apple could have stopped these,
but she maybe busy taking selfie an making videos of it..jzt kidding :laughing::laughing::laughing:

These humour dedicated to few media reporters... who actually can stop little bit of offence thing's

:thumbsup:

no photo
Thu 03/31/22 12:01 AM
I love your jokes, Apple JulieABusch :)
Unfortunately, I will not be able to read them all, because I have decided to cancel my account.
Have fun and have a good time.
Bye waving

no photo
Thu 03/31/22 12:25 PM
Well, partially not that secret any more. Busy copy 'n' pasting stuff into a neat fine fun file right now … :smile: bigsmile biggrin rofl

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Thu 03/31/22 12:54 PM
Edited by Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ on Thu 03/31/22 12:58 PM
@Lily.. But why..?

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Sat 04/02/22 01:49 PM
What did one worm say to the other when he was home late?
Where in earth have you been.

Julie,where on earth have you been?ur Duty on this thread is not being met :stuck_out_tongue:✌.Seriously...how are you Julie

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Sat 04/02/22 01:50 PM
Well, partially not that secret any more. Busy copy 'n' pasting stuff into a neat fine fun file right now … :smile: 🤪 :grin: :laughing:

enjoy Andreas:stuck_out_tongue:

JulieABush's photo
Sun 04/03/22 03:21 AM
Sorry Apple Love but Funny Editor hasn’t had any funny jokes lately. When there’s one worth posting then I will and do.

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Sun 04/03/22 05:52 AM
Sorry Apple Love but Funny Editor hasn’t had any funny jokes lately. When there’s one worth posting then I will and do.

thats fine Julie as long as you are fit,healthy and happy..TC

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