Thank you Apple Love .

See here is @JulieABush
Fit an Fine

Which computer won the talent show?
A Dell.

In 1973 I traveled to Belgrade and at the train station I needed the WC. I asked where is the WC ? No one understood me because they call it VITCA not WC. I walked around the station using my sense of smell until I found the WC. Lol

Lol....but in my country,we dont call it WC too or water closet,we call it CR short for Comfort Room,or just Restroom or Toilet...rare we hear WC in phils too.

welcome to this thread Lung

being a Batchler I some times get tired of doing my own laundry. so when the new laundry opened and said "full service". I thought great I'll give them a try.

I had some badly stained workshirts, and they got the stains out,some had paint on them too and they got . so I was pretty impressed.
but putting my close away, I noticed a couple pairs pf pants got shrunk. I mean shrunk to about a kids size.

but over all I was happy, so I tried them again. this time I included some jackets to dry clean.
and again everything was great, but one of the jackets got shrunk. just like the pants..

but once again I was mostly satisfied. so I tried again.
this time I made mention of the close that were shrunk.
and they said sorry sir. but of coarse we are not responsible. for what might happen during the cleaning process.

so I asked them to just press some shirts for me.
and again a couple where shrunk.

so the next time I brought in a rusty rail road spike
and I engraved " shrink this" on one side as a joke to them. and slipped it in with my laundry in with the rest of my laundry.
when I picked up my laundry, there was a clean polished shiny little rail road spike, with a little tiny note attached that read " we did."

NICE

I went to the zoo today and when I got there they said they only had one animal and it was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

Funny .

A man goes into a Massage Parlor for his first Thai Massage. He's a little nervous because he's never gotten one before:

Before they start the woman asks him if he has any questions.

He says. "What should I expect?"

She replies. "Well you'll wear loose, comfortable clothing and lie on a mat. Traditional Thai massage uses no oils or lotions. There is constant body contact between the giver and receiver, but rather than rubbing on muscles, the body is compressed, pulled, stretched and rocked."

This sounds pleasant enough so they begin. It's very enjoyable and quite sensual.

About Halfway Through she says. "Ok you can turn over on your back"

He slowly does and turns red in the face

The woman says. "Don't worry it's 100% natural to get an erection during this type of massage."

He pauses and then replies. "Yeah! But why do you have one?" 🤣

a repost:
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told her husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.🤣

A cop pulls over an old farmer and as he is starting to write out the ticket he is engulfed by flies all around him and as he is waving them away the farmer says I see you have circle flies. The cop says what are circle flies. The farmers says on the farm we call the files always flying around the horses a s s circle flies. Are you calling me a horses a s s the cop asks. The farmer say no I have too much respect for policemen. The cop says ok and continues writing the ticket and after a short pause the farmer says it is pretty hard to argue with the flies though.

FUNNY

Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
The museum curator needed a break so she took her van to gogh out of here.

What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart’s new?
Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide.

A bus full of housewives going on a picnic ,
fell into a river ,
all died .
Each husband cried for a week ,
one husband continued for more than two months !!!
When asked did he miss his wife so much ?
he replied miserably :
No
My wife
missed
the bus!!!

Funny .