where are you

Yeah that sure is a joke or funny story!

What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
An antique.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."

Blonde Moments:

A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy that's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year, also, he's sooooo dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept:

So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a date with this ravishing buxom blonde.

Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy.
It starts to get late and the bartender calls out last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and says..."Let's have this last drink at my apartment."

Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters the word. "OK."

They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door, when the blonde stops him and says. "Before we go back to my apartment there's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle."

He says. "That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda." 🤣

It is so annoying, when people you are with, or are stuck with on trains, buses, planes etc. Are constantly on their cell phones...
After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his phone and started talking in a loud voice:
"Hi sweetheart. It's Eric. I'm on the train".
...
"Yes, he said, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".
"No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss".
"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".
"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart"...
Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly and frustratingly annoying all around him,
when the young woman sitting next to him, who had also had enough, suddenly leaned over and said into the phone,
"Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public anymore !!!....

Funn=Eeeeeh.

All are funny .
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music.

What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
Slush puppies.

What do you call a happy Lassie?
A jolly collie.

What do you get if you cross a gun dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.

Why shouldn’t you trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.

hahaha...dont u ever make Udder thread Julie...thanks for not neglecting this thread.Adv Happy New Year my Funny THREAD partner.

hahaha

a man walks into a bar

What happens when a frog’s car dies?
He has it toad.

Where do fisherman get their hair cut?
The bobber shop.

Nurse, how is the little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
“No change yet”.