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| Topic: another Joke | |
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What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast. |
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What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block. |
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What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequacker. |
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What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequacker. |
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N
 ICE
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At a wine merchant, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunkard, with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink. The drunk tried it and said: "It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable”. "That's correct”, said the boss. Another glass: "It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results”. "Correct”. A third glass: ''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive”, calmly said the drunk. The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and - if I don't get the job - I'll name the father”. 
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Have fun Givenchy...thank u coming into this thread |
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 Nigeria teacher was sent to China to teach.The first day he enteredclass, he began by roll-calling. He said “Sheng.” A student said ”present. ”He called the second name, “Chu muon” Another student said”present.”Suddenly, he sneezed, ”hatchia” one student seated at the corner stood up and said, ”present.”He then exclaimed and said,”hmmmm  …”all the students shouted”absent.”He got confused andsaid,”chai…” three students stood up and said,”which of us sir?” The teacher became more confused and he asked, ”what is wrong?” A student stood up and said, ”sir, I’m not wrong, I’m called Wong.”The teacher now laughed and said, ”hahaha  ”..A girl said. ” Present sir.”Theteacher fainted Don't tell me you won't comment my post after reading |
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Nothing official about ot ahahha
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What fly makes films?
Stephen Speilbug. |
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How do fireflies start a race?
Ready, set, glow, |
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Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?
They had so many knights. |
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Why was the stadium steaming hot after the game?
All the fans left. |
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Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?
He had an amazing set of pipes. |
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Good JulieABush
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SPACING MISTAKE... 🤣🤣🤣
a beautiful secretary received an expensive pen from her boss on her birthday. d next day she sent a "thank u " note to her boss by text message. d boss' wife read d text and angrily showed it to her boss. "ur penis so wonderful. i enjoyed using it last night. " 
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When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a daring proposal;
-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars. Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while he was chased by all the crocodiles. With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced; -We have a brave winner. After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said; -I didn't jump, someone pushed me! His wife smiled ... Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him." |
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A middle-aged couple had two
beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied: ‘Not this time!'..... |
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A wealthy Arab Sheik was booked into an exclusive private hospital near London for essential heart surgery.
Prior to the surgery the surgeons needed to ensure that they had an adequate supply of his blood type in case the need arose during the long operation. Unfortunately the Sheik had a very rare type of blood which the hospital couldn't find locally. So the call went out to the Blood Transfusion Service countrywide in an attempt to find suitable donors. Finally a single Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. The Scot willingly agreed and donated his blood for the Sheik's lifesaving surgery. After the surgery, the wealthy Sheik found out who his rare donor was and sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and £100,000. Unfortunately due to some unforseen complications the doctors decided that the Sheik needed to go through further corrective surgery. The hospital again contacted the Scottish donor who was more than happy to donate more of his blood. After recovering from the second surgery, the Sheik wanted to thank his donor and this time he sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the gift from the Sheik seemed to be so paltry compared to his earlier outstanding generosity. He phoned the Sheik and asked him "I thought you would be generous again this time and that you would give me another Luxury car, diamonds and money...." "But this time you only gave me a thank-you card and a measly little box of chocolates." On hearing this the Sheik replied, "Aye laddie, but noo ah huv Scottish blood in ma veins". |
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Funny
 . Why doesn’t Winnie the Pooh where shoes? He prefers his bear feet. |
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