What do you call octopus twins?
Itenticle.

What type of school requires you to drop out to graduate?
Sky diving school.

Which rock group consist of four men who don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.

How does a cucumber turn into a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.

Why didn’t the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.

Why is a computer so smart?
Because it listens to its motherboard.

Why was the grandmother always getting A’s on her papers?
She had a knack for gram-mer.

LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her **** are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.🤣🤣🤣

Little Johnny is the man!!

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words"COMPLETE AND FINISHED" .some people say there's no difference between COMPLETE AND FINISHED, but there is when you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE! When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED....and when your wife catches you with another woman you are COMPLETELY FINISHED and if you marry a wife that loves shopping so much you are FINISHED COMPLETELY

hahaha,lol

Truer words have never been spoken!!

Nice Jokes
Not yet completed. Reading it ..

All One Liner Jokes are so nice
and the others 22222222222222..

Funny .
What is a pirates favorite letter?
You may think it’s R but it’s the C they really love.

This is ribs cracking. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

A woman and a man were involved in car accident.

It was a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving.

Both of their cars were badly damaged but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of ... cars, the woman says;

“So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.

Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.

My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn't break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she handed the bottle over to the man.
The man nodded his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."
(drunk driver's offence)

Adam ate the apple again !


Men will NEVER learn !

Women will Never change!!!



Don't laugh alone. Kindly put a smile on someone else's face.

What did the farmer call the cow that wouldn’t give him any milk?
An udder failure.

What happen to the Dean who lost his job?
He lost his ideanity.

What’s an ocean’s favorite playlist?
Nep-tunes.

What bird ends up constantly getting hurt?
The owl.