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| Topic: DEAR LUV2ROKNROLLBY! - part 2 | |
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@#%^&*^LUVSTOROCKENROLLERBY!!; YOUR SNAPPER PLUS DON'T WORK WORTH A @%(^. LAST NIGHT WHEN I HIT THE BUTTON, AS SOON AS THE LIGHTS WENT OUT THAT SKANK STOLE MY WALLET AND RAN OFF TO THE LOCAL CHINESE RESTAURANT AND GAVE THE FUMANCHU TO THE COOK SOMEYOUNGGUY IN THE BACKSEAT OF A HYNDAI. HOW THE $^** ARE US FOLKS DOWN HERE IN BUM PHUCK EGYPT SUPPOSED TO GET OUR LOVE GROOVE ON WITH THESE DEFECTIVE PRODUCTS? Heeeeeyy!!! Wait a minute..... This isn't a genuine Snapper Plus..... It's a cheap Egyptian knock-off called "The Crapper Plue"!!!!!! nevermind, 
That is the hardest ive laughed in weeks!! 
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And im in hysterics, and trying to take YOUR calls LIVE!!Bwwwwahahhahahahh...........................................
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Still waiting on my call. Must have you tongue tied?
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ONLINE with Hippie...ty for your call.....................
Sex AFTER marriage? Well, I suppose there is a first time for everything. If you do this, you will be a true pioneer, and a historical figure, for the rest of time. So make sure you can handle all of that pressure. You will also have millions of husbands, throughout the world, wanting to kill you, because then all of THEIR wives, will want to have sex after marriage with them. This could get VERY UGLY!! If you do decide to have sex AFTER marriage, I would either go into seclusion, or hire a body gurard. Good luck. And taking YOUR calls LIVE and ONLINE............................. |
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Dear Dr. Luv: I know this is a people's forum...but I have this ADORABLE PUG and there's this lady that wants to breed her pug with mine. (I get pick of the litter of course). My question: He is almost 8 years old in human life (mid-life for a dog) and is still a VIRGIN. Do you think it would be safe for him to "breed" for a first time? If I decide to let him breed with the other pug, do you think there are any "doggy pointers" he should know about?
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Dear Dr. Luv: I know this is a people's forum...but I have this ADORABLE PUG and there's this lady that wants to breed her pug with mine. (I get pick of the litter of course). My question: He is almost 8 years old in human life (mid-life for a dog) and is still a VIRGIN. Do you think it would be safe for him to "breed" for a first time? If I decide to let him breed with the other pug, do you think there are any "doggy pointers" he should know about?
His safety, ask a vet. Pointers?? Nope. They invented, "Doggie Style". You pug could probably teach YOU a few new things, like biting the neck, and having to drag your mate around for a half hour AFTER the dirty deed. Im not so sure, you really WANT to learn any of that. And taking YOUR calls LIVE and ONLINE.......................... |
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Dear Dr. Luv:
I have 2 black eyes (passed out landing face first) is there any way to milk this situation? |
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Dear luvstorockanrollerby;
Why is it, although my profile emphatically states that I am only looking for women over the age of ninety with very large life insurance policies, I keep getting looked at by twenty one year old playboy bunny types? Isn't there anything I can do about this? I've posted my picture that plainly shows my massive goiters and humongous hairy mole and still they keep looking at me. Are goiters and hairy moles a turn on for young girls these days? BTW have you been hauled off to the hoosegow again? |
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BTW have you been hauled off to the hoosegow again? Nah. I would have noticed if she were with me in the ...err... Never mind. 
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Hello Dr. Luv...., Sofiehere and Motowndowtown issues are very interesting..., been waiting anxiously for an answer to these issues and thanks for taking my call.
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Dear Dr. Luv: I have 2 black eyes (passed out landing face first) is there any way to milk this situation? YES!! Go into a restaurant and when they mop the floors, (they do it alot at McDonalds), first grab the "WATCH OUT, SLIPPERY FLOOR" sign, hand it off to Krupa, have him throw it in his trunk, then pretend to slip and fall!! Just imagine.. FREE CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR LIFE!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! And taking YOUR calls ONLINE........................................ |
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Edited by
luv2roknroll
on
Mon 08/13/12 08:13 PM
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Dear luvstorockanrollerby; Why is it, although my profile emphatically states that I am only looking for women over the age of ninety with very large life insurance policies, I keep getting looked at by twenty one year old playboy bunny types? Isn't there anything I can do about this? I've posted my picture that plainly shows my massive goiters and humongous hairy mole and still they keep looking at me. Are goiters and hairy moles a turn on for young girls these days? BTW have you been hauled off to the hoosegow again? No, ive been hauled off to Online College! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!! I dont know about young girls, in particular, but many woman, myself included, are EXTREMEMLY turned on by goiters, and hairy moles, along with, of course... Hairy backs 
Hemorrhoids
STDs
Skid marked under ware
Bad breath
Dirty Fingernails
High rise jeans
Bow ties
Nose picking
Excessive coughing
Spitting
Chain smoking
Body odor
Depends Undergarments
and probably the biggest turn on of all.. PLUMBERS CRACK!!     
Mmmmmmmmmmm, Ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyy, I need a 5 minute break,,,
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Online with Soufie...ty for calling...................... YES!! Go into a restaurant and when they mop the floors, (they do it alot at McDonalds), first grab the "WATCH OUT, SLIPPERY FLOOR" sign, hand it off to Krupa, have him throw it in his trunk, then pretend to slip and fall!! Just imagine.. FREE CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR LIFE!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! And taking YOUR calls ONLINE........................................ Fffffall, again? Will they believe 4 black eyes? |
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Edited by
luv2roknroll
on
Mon 08/13/12 08:52 PM
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Online with Soufie...ty for calling...................... YES!! Go into a restaurant and when they mop the floors, (they do it alot at McDonalds), first grab the "WATCH OUT, SLIPPERY FLOOR" sign, hand it off to Krupa, have him throw it in his trunk, then PRETEND to slip and fall!! Just imagine.. FREE CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR LIFE!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! And taking YOUR calls ONLINE........................................ Fffffall, again? Will they believe 4 black eyes? but read it again Batwoman. WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, *BA DUM SHSSSSSSSSSS* Get it?? blind as a bat?? Batwoman?? Your eyes are black?? Your blind?? get it?? nevermind. *in her best lounge lizard singer voice* Thank you ladies and germs, HEYYYYYYYYY WHERE YA FROM, What a beatiful crowd!! And now I would like to sing "Feelings" for you. *SINGING* feeeeeeeeeeeeelings WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. nothing more than feelings HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. trying to forget my OH YEAH MY MY MY. feelings of love. DOG GONE THOSE FEELINGS OF LOVE. Teardrops ARE YOU WITH ME HERE?? rolling down on my face NOOOOOOOOOO NOT YOUR FACE, MY FACE BABYYYYYYYYYYY........................................................................................................ |
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Dear Dr lov,
When do I turn "I like you" into "I love you?" Before or after sex? Thanks Can't go no further without the answer... |
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Unbeknownst to Dr. Luv, her sound engineer mercifully turned off her microphone and went to a commercial as soon as she started singing.
Here is the commercial: 
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Dear Dr lov, When do I turn "I like you" into "I love you?" Before or after sex? Thanks Can't go no further without the answer... HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU FEEL IT?? DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And taking YOUR calls ONLINE ....................................... |
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Unbeknownst to Dr. Luv, her sound engineer mercifully turned off her microphone and went to a commercial as soon as she started singing. Here is the commercial:
NOW THATS DIFFERENT! |
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Dear Dr. Luv,
I keep seeing this cat doing a strange dance and looking like it is in misery.
Being that I am Melmacian, part of me wants to eat the cat. However, part of me enjoys seeing a cat being in misery. So, what should I do? Do I eat the cat or just enjoy the show? |
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Dear Dr. Luv, I keep seeing this cat doing a strange dance and looking like it is in misery. Being that I am Melmacian, part of me wants to eat the cat. However, part of me enjoys seeing a cat being in misery. So, what should I do? Do I eat the cat or just enjoy the show? Online with DoDo..ty for your call.............................. Well, being Melmacian, and all, I guess your not familiar with this... but there is a way, that you can eat the cat, and watch the show, at the same time. AND MORE THAN ONCE. First, feed the cat some catnip, and "Tender Vittles", and a nice warm bowl of milk, then gently lay the cat on its back, and...................................................................... |
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