Been separated for a year and a half, the divorce will be final in a a month. I surrendered to the fact this marriage was not going to work some time ago, but as the day to finalizing this marriage nears I am feeling more lost and empty. I had not really felt sadness like I have been lately, I am sure this is a natural process I must go through. Just me thinking and thought I would put it out there to some of you that have already gone through this similar life changing event.

Everything you're feeling is a natural part of it all. We come to a point that we realize that part of our lives are coming to a end and has been finalized. One just have to realize they did all they could do and it is time to move on.. It gets easier as time goes on to accept what happen and let it go.

Hi, I seen your post and wanted to reply. My divorce was recently finalized and I felt the same way. You need to think of it as kinda like a death. Bad to say but true. You will go through all the emotions of a death and after you learn to move forward. It is a sad process and a emotional one, whether you want the divorce or not. it has been 3 months for me and I'm feeling better these days, but you are letting go of something that you had and life is changing and it will be over. Let yourself feel the way you need to and things will get better with time... You are not the only one that feels this way. Good luck and I hope this helped.

Sounds more like nerves to me, like the first time you moved away from home. You are a little nervous because you are going into the unknown but after you realize that you are actually making it on your own then life is good again. My divorce did not hit me as hard since we were not together but a few years, but the longer you are together the harder it is to split apart even though you know that you have been apart for a long time just living in the same house... Good Luck

I lost my brother and best friend almost ten years ago, he was only 41. I dealt with that loss and I am at peace with his passing, It took a long time but this is a different feeling than the divorce. I got through my brothers death and this seems miniscule compared to that. Thank you.

Differance between divorce & death, ex is still alive.
don't wish her dead, just out of my business.

It differs with everybody I suppose. I went through the same thing when mine was final last year. The feeling lasted 3-4 months. My advice, stay away from alcohol while you feel like ****. Bad things can happen. It just takes time to get used to it. Same thing GravelRidgeBoy said. It's the unknown that does it.

I got divorced back in 2008, and it was tough. It took 6 months for the divorce to get done, and it was a long 6 months. I became seriously depressed, lost my job, and lost my home. I ended up moving in with a friend who saw me through the entire thing, and then months afterwards as well. I originally told myself I'd never be in a relationship again, I was done with love, etc. It's been a few years now, and time has a way of healing. I won't lie... I still think about my ex-wife from time to time, but it's in a different way now. I think about how things were in the beginning of our relationship, and it's more happy thoughts. Thinking about those times helped me to realize why I want to be in a relationship again... Just stick it out, and DEFINITELY vent your feelings when you need to. Before you know it, you'll be happy and smiling again.

Time.
T-this
I-I
M-must
E-earn


Breath in, breath out. Each day it will change, sometimes slow, always to a better place. Take time to grieve this loss.

I was in the military when I was served with divorce papers and ...yes, it can hurt and linger for quite awhile, but when the divorce was finalized, I felt a relief. As if something was lifted off my shoulders. I continued my career in the military and now that I am recently retired, 'she' wants to rekindle that flame, that died out years ago. I Don't Think So. Divorce...from the latin, meaning to castrate a man thru his wallet. Love is grand but divorce is $50 grand. I don't want to get married again. I'll just find a woman that I don't like and buy her a house.

My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God, and I didn't.

Just deal with the loss, and you will be fine. The circumstances could be causing the feelings. Giv eyour self time, surround yourself with friends. And eventually you will come around again, and look forward to meeting someone new to get to know.
Trust me on this I've been there/ done that a few times.
But I have not given up on finding true love yet.

Yes, I know what that's like. For me personally it was great to self reflect and be on my own.

Culture shock was what they called it when I went through alcohol and drug rehab. That was back in 83. I thought I had drowned it with alcohol and drugs but when I came to they asked me if I wanted to let my ex know where I was. I said okay and then there was my son on the phone asking me when I was coming home. The ex said he keeps on asking so she thought she would let me answer the question. It was kind of like a modified version of the song by Cats Stevens, "Cats in the cradle". The treatment center calls it culture shock because whether you like being away from them or not that other person is just not there. It is like this emptiness or the nothingness as "The Never Ending Story" movie describes it. It was a real feat getting used to living with those 23 other people in the half way house. But thinking back the second time we got divorce was harder because I wasn't stoned out of my mind. But then when I met another lady who was a real friend and the marriage lasted six and a half years. When she died it was totally devastating. Or at least I thought it did until I met another wonderful woman and then she died two months later. I think I just bawled for years. Eventually I met a wonderful friend Online who taught me how to laugh through the tears. She told me the tears just don't stop until they are good and ready to. It kind of reminded of that movie, "The last kiss goodnight" where the mother has her daughter to quit crying and later the daughter tells her mother the same thing.

February 18, hmmm this man must be married again already... Anyways,whether separation and or divorce, both are really tough. Relationships fail due to so many reasons. If it was worth saving for, this was quiet late . The best you can to is to keep yourself objective. If you have children show them the love, attention and supervision they need. You have to be strong, best way you can do is plan your life and work on it. Learn from your mistakes and don't let these mistakes be part of a vicious cycle. Time to move on. Good luck!

Divorce is usually painful but one thing that lightened it for me was when a psychic said that in 2 years I would be over it. (That was likely not psychic at all, but just what happens normally).

Anyway, I was really glad to hear her say 2 years, because on my down days, at least I knew there was a countdown period. Sure enough, by the time 2 years had gone by, it was pretty well over and I considered it a "closed" chapter of a book.

My first marriage was for 17 yrs and 4 children.. A yr after the divorce I moved across country as "our friends" were people he worked with and I had very few close friends.. It was hard but good for me, the children spent summers with their father. I had married right out of high school and was on my own for the first time.. Helped me to grow and know myself and what I could do on my own.. After 2 yrs I had to move back to help my mother (dad had passed and she had health problems) but I had time to heal while gone and could deal with things much better when I came back.. And then I fell in love with a wonderful man and we were married 26 yrs before he passed away....
It does take time and everyone deals with it in a different way...hang in there, it gets better...