Driving from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, on the open desert going 75mph, I enjoy LA GRANGE...By ZZ TOP.

I STILL GOT THE BLUES....by Gray Moore and BLACK VELVET...by Alana Myles.

An elderly man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down, holding his penis. The nurse on duty says, " Mr. Johnson, why are you doing that?" The man replies, " It died today." "Oh, that's terrible", the nurse says and goes on her appointed rounds. The next day, the man has his penis hanging "outside" of his pants again and the same nurse spots him, once more and says, " Mr. Johnson, I thought it died yesterday?" Mr. Johnson says, "It did. Today is the viewing".

A married couple of 50 years were sitting at the breakfast table, remembering how their love had blossomed over the years, especially when they first got married. Grandma says, " Remember when we had breakfast and we were both naked? It was was so romantic and my breast were hot with passion." Then Grandpa says, " Well, what do you say....shall we?" They both got naked and started kissing, when Grandma says, as she's catching her breath, " You know honey, my nipples are as hot for you, as they were 50 years ago." Grandpa replies, " I'm not surprised. One's in your coffee and the other one is in your oatmeal."

Can you remember Howdy Doodie, Crusader Rabbit, Tom Hatten. What was Crusader Rabbit's friend name (the tiger)? Can you name more old T.V. series? Who was Felix the Cat's enemies? Popeye's girlfriends name, etc.?

I just finished "Final Curtain" by Margaret Burk and Gary Hudson. It's about all famous movie stars and famous people who have departed, where they reside now (buried) and how they died. Interesting.
An example....Jerome (Curly) Fine of the Three Stooges, is entombed at HILLSIDE MEMORIAL PARK in Los Angeles. Or Jay Silverheels, Tonto,of the Lone Ranger (for those old enough to remember the series) is buried at the CHAPEL OF THE PINES, also in Los Angeles. And I am sure most of you remember Lucille Ball ( I Love Lucy). She rests at FOREST LAWN, HOLLYWOOD HILLS, also in Los Angeles.

What did I learn from my first love? How to do it better.

My sign would say...."SPACE FOR RENT" Inquire within.

Here I am. NOW, what are your other two wishes?

Is it time for 'my' Meds, or yours?

What would you classify as a taboo and forbidden love affair?

I gave up "SEX" for food. Now, I can't even get into my "own" pants.

My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God, and I didn't.

All I have is "Pension" sex. A little each month, but not enough to live on. Be grateful. Enjoy it while you can. And yes, its normal. I mostly have "oral" sex. I talk about it, all the time. (sigh)

I was in the military when I was served with divorce papers and ...yes, it can hurt and linger for quite awhile, but when the divorce was finalized, I felt a relief. As if something was lifted off my shoulders. I continued my career in the military and now that I am recently retired, 'she' wants to rekindle that flame, that died out years ago. I Don't Think So. Divorce...from the latin, meaning to castrate a man thru his wallet. Love is grand but divorce is $50 grand. I don't want to get married again. I'll just find a woman that I don't like and buy her a house.

Well, one thing about being a baby boomer is that the Record Industry has accommodated us with the 're-release of old songs. Examples? "Mrs. Brown, you've got a lovely 'Walker"-by Herman's Hermits....Or..."Papa got a kidney stone"-by the Temptations...Or..."I get by with a little help from 'Depends"-by the Beatles...Or..."I heard it thru the 'Grapenuts"-by Marvin Gaye...Or..."A whiter Shade of 'Hair'-by Procol Harem.

One final post regarding 'what women want'. I thought I really, really knew what women wanted when my wife kept bugging me about having a baby and said, "Wouldn't I love to her the pitter patter of little feet, thru-out the house?" I told her, "If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet around the house, I'll put shoes on my cat." And that's when....Anyway, the divorce will be final, in a few months.

I just don't learn. I thought I knew what women wanted, when I asked my wife, "Where would you want to go for your birthday?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. She said, "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time." So, I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" ..And that's when....

I thought I knew what women wanted when my wife was hinting about what she wanted for her upcoming birthday and said, "I want something shiny that goes from zero to 200, in about 3 seconds." Being the passionate guy that I am, I bought her a bathroom scale. And that's when the fight started. I give up.

My Passion is food. It has replaced sex in my life. Now, I can't even get into my 'own' pants.