Hi there and Welcome to the Widow/er forum. I'm Connie. Glad you found us off down here in our little corner. I'm sorry for your loss. I just had my 10th anniversary of being widowed June 13.


Don, I don't know what to tell ya. When I hear that kind of thing played back to me, my gut instinct is to say no, it doesn't work like that. God does not work in that way. But, I've also had times when I thought if I'd lived better, done better maybe he wouldn't have been taken from me. So it feels a bit odd answering when I've felt that too. I'm just glad Most of my days are not like that.

Understand your point, just some times have "one of those days."

Hugs back always like a hug Good to see yah Mary :)

I know exactly how you feel. My husband passed away 2 years ago on the 20th of this month, sometimes i wondered where GOD was also, but he was carrying me, there were times the weight was so heavy on my chest i almost couldn't breathe. I literally whaled, not cried, to the point where i had no hope in sight for missing him so badly. He is in Heaven now and i wouldn't bring him back for 1 second to suffer again. I was being selfish holding on to a sick man, he is well for the first time in his whole life. I also agree that you will not ever find another person like her in the world. I too feel that way so I decided that when i started looking, that i would look for someone totally unlike him, i didn't want to be accused of comparing him to the next man in my life. I stumbled onto a man purely by accident that has become a big part of my life. I've only know him 40 days, but we have seen each other every day since we met. He has brought laughter back into my life, something i thought i'd never do again, but it can happen. Can you truely find real love a second time, especially after 30 years of being married to one man? I sure hope so. I'm not saying i'm in love with this new guy, but i do like him a lot. I hope you can open yourself up enough to let someone new into your life. I was once told you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince charming, the same rule applies to women. Good luck in your future endeavors.

Morning all

Bumping this back up so it can be seen a little bit at least.

Hugs to you all.

Suffering losses is never easy and the dates that come up trough the years to bring back that heart wrenching pain are certainly no fun but we persevere through them, trying our best to smile and be okay.

Tomorrow would have been my son's 4th wedding anniversary and my heart is going out to his widow right now. I do know where she is and how hard this is for her. Three days after that is the 6th anniversary of my husband's passing. I was okay. The loss of our first born has brought back all the pain with a vengeance. I'm really missing him right now. I know he would have been such a comfort to me through our son's loss. But now my two Steve's are together.

I wrote my goodbye letter to my husband. I have yet to be able to bring myself to do that with my son. Right now, i don't think I'll ever be ready to do that.

God bless you. Prayers for Sandi and their children Steve, Kaleigh and Bella.

Artcat,

I am so sorry for your losses. I'm glad you found us stuck off way down here.

I lost my husband June 99. We didn't have children. I can't imagine that type of loss for you.

I am thinking of you tomorrow and will be again on Sunday. Please come back and post here; let us know how you are doing.

I'm Connie btw.

There is Hope

When I seen you there knowing that our Lives's together was like the night growing into the day. I felt our being reflecting on my soul. Where did the time take our knowing that you are there. I look for you with my heart. I feel for you with my soul. Will time fill the emptiness that I feel inside ? Will someone show the light that I long for to light up my eye ? Will the people around me know that we are alone now ? As the light pulls my soul into seeing you I have to say, I loved you forever. My heart will never lose that love that we had. I keep the hope that your heart gave my soul. I keep this hope that is with in my veins. I feel this hope that you planted within my heart. I feel the time that this hope has gone through in our lives's together. As this hope fades into it's self I remember all that you had said and done for me through your love. I push myself through the days, I push myself through the months, I push myself through the years. Praying for that what was left behind in my soul to help me remember the love that you gave me my whole life through.

Written By
Jimmy

Well written.

A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

John Donne (1633)


As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls, to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
“The breath goes now,” and some say, “No:”

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
’Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears;
Men reckon what it did, and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers’ love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refin’d,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fix’d foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if the’ other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th’ other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end, where I begun.

i lost my lady of 16 years to breast cancer in march. it still hurts everyday.

I am sure it does Love and hugs to you My Brother & Friend


Everyone I'd like you to meet my dear Friend <<< Todd >>>


in case you haven't have the opportunity to meet him yet

his to me was "I lust you sweetcake!"

To Artcat

I thought about you yesterday.

Thank you Auburngirl, I appreciate the positive energy it generates.

...It just doesn't seem fair, does it?
BUT ... We just have to keep "them" in our hearts and try to live , survive, love again, even if its just not the "same love" we had.

Good Saturday Morning to you all! I hope y'all enjoy the weekend and have a chance to get outside for a bit. It's hot here in Alabama but nice.

Hello,
I haven't been here for a while, hiding perhaps, trying to put some things in a place. Recently, the anniversary, my middle daughter has estranged herself from me. It is part of this grieving process. She never allowed herself this time until now and..distance has once again, won over. It is in those times I find it the most difficult for me.

I read all the encouragement, the struggles and everyday that is shared here, though I have kept that arms distance. perhaps it could seem unkind to do that, it is just how I breathe sometimes, popping in and out, feeling for a moment that, a difference is made, by me, one on one. I pray you will not judge me harshly, for this is a safe haven..
sadie

Every life that you touch, if only for a moment, changes us forever and leaves a footprint in our heart. You never know what difference you might make by reaching out. Mostof the time we may never know who we may have touched, but being an earth angel is never-the-less an important job. Thank you for the sharing of your heart. Please join us as often as your heart allows, we will be waiting here for you!
Mary