My niece made valedictorian of her school, Karen. I am glad you made the dean's list. I ain't been right in a long time. Have had to learn to live by rolling with the punches. Yesterday, I called my friend, Janie from work. I guess it made her boyfriend, Chad jealous. Robin and me are helping her move into a new place. Janie wants one of my dressers and an extra entertainment center I have since I bought a bigger one for my house. I can't wait to get my house in order and especially go through the one room that has so much of my deceased wife's stuff in it. Robin is going to help me pack the stuff up that we don't trash and we are going to have one big yardsale. It will be good to get the job done so I won't be afraid to go through that one room any more. I was telling Janie if there was anything she needed that I have to help her move into her new house it would be alright with me. So I will be unloading stuff out of the house and getting it cleaned both. I am glad Robin has a truck since there is a dump not far from the house. I will be cleaning, trashing and yard saling stuff. Have you ever just got just too much stuff in your house and didn't know what to do with it? I am sure there.

That a cool idea, Amber. Life is just too short to be pissed off all the time. Once you get your own place it will be yours and nobody else's. Make your place into a sanctuary or atleast one room in it once you get it. I am converting my place from a mausoleum into a sanctuary because like you say Karma is like that. I really like ocean pictures and that is going to be the theme of my home. I am looking for more paintings of beaches with oceans. Some people do angels and some do unicorns but I am into oceans.

yeah i like ocean pictures and LOVE the underwater scenes....looks like i'm gonna have to haul a$$ outta here sooner than i wanted to.....ppl are pulling out the sh!t pile and slinging...my nerves can't take this crap.

Don't walk, Amber, run. The sooner you get it over with the sooner you will be happy. Just got back from helping a friend move. Six pickup loads of stuff and moving in this heat. I met her boyfriend and he didn't say hi. She gave him the finger as he walked out the door. It made me wonder if I was the nice guy for helping her move or if I was the bad guy for helping them split up. Maybe I am just a nice bad guy. She helped move her stuff by carry her can of beer around and he helped by leaving before the moving began. Heck, if it wasn't for the friend who brought the truck and the son-in-law who got conned into helping move they might still be together arguing and drinking. Such a beautiful relationship. It reminded me of the hell I grew up into. Yup. Don't walk, run. If you get away with your life consider yourself fortunate.

wow roy...maybe you're reading the meaning behind what i'm writing in here.

Well, Amber one of the things I learn in maintenance is that some stuff isn't worth fixing. I mean when you consider you time, the labor, waiting for parts to come, if the parts are still available, is it upgradeable. One day my maintenance lead said after he had been called to fix this one particular machine several times, "Screw this" and he took a sledge hammer to it. He took it to the production supervisor and said, "We need a new one. This one isn't fixable." The production supervisor said, "Okay, we will get a new machine." I just laughed my ass off.

hey amber/roy/anyone else?, love the new pic.....hope things are rolling for ya. Been in the hospital, and almost landed myself there again. Been going through withdrawl and in just a few days I seemed to piss off and disown two people in my family.

Had terrible trouble trying to get meds after that. Had to so without for 5 days before i went in and then they sent me home with a script that couldnt be filled and did another 4 days of withdrawl. Felt like a fukcing junkie. Very degrading and dehumanizing. I hate meds but unfortunately I have to take them. I got manic and loaned out money I didnt have, lost a friend who turned out to be a terrib;e liar and user. I aiant holding my breath to get the money back. I did demand it back though.

Just me being stupid and feeling sorry for people and thier lies. Everytime I try to help someone I pull back a bloody stump.

He's so pissed at me for calling him out on his lies and catching him that he has threatened to have me evicted. I dont think the landlord is going to give up a good tenant like me over someone elses personal problems. He is the one that does all the work on the houses for the landlord who live far away. Thinks he owns these places. PFTTTTTT!!!!!!!

I have way more important things to deal with thn this ****. Still stings $800 down the tube.

ok you guys.....i'm leaving tomorrow.....stepmom and i had words....i just took took took ntil i finally (but quietly) exploded.

Don't kill anyone. But then if you did, you'd have three squares a day, free housing, all the sex you could want and get off cuz you're nuts like the rest of us.......

lol true karen....but i don't wanna be stuck in there again....ya know?

never been, but it cant be much worse than the nut ward

lol....well i'm off until the next time i can access a computer.....i'm gonna miss being able to come online and rant and rave here.......



roy...marie.....karen....jax.....i'm gonna miss y'all the most..especially karen.....

Don't forget your local library, Amber. Most have computers that you get online with. You can take the word from an Internet junkie.

Got to work over with the Amazon. She has arms twice as big as mine. But it isn't like the clash of the titans since I have pulled the tendon in my right arm and she has hurt her back from lifting. If necessity is the mother of invention then pain must be the mother of compromise. Lost the male aide I just oriented a month ago. He made the mistake of challenging the manic depressive nurse. Wanted to tell him that it doesn't matter that the boss was a woman because she is still the boss. Hopefully he will lose the attitude at his next job. If not I guess there is always unemployment. People with short fuses shouldn't work around nitroglycerin. Nice to be back with the sane people.

Good luck Amber, but I agree with Roy, the sooner you have your own place the happier you will be.

Darn Karen, sounds like you have been through the wringer. I hope you got the medications all straightened out. Wish I could do something to help.

Roy, when you get bored with your moving your friend, I have stuff that can be hauled away too, (just kidding).

Hope you all have a good day tomorrow. Take care.

that's true roy....but it'll probably be a couple of weeks before i can get to a library up there....lol

well this is officially my last post until i get to a library anyway.....lol.....

i got my ticket and a little bit to eat from.....just got to remember to leave some over to pay my mom back for the gas money she had to borrow......

y'all take care ok?????

hugs to everyone.....

awww, thats sweet Amber. Wishin you the best.

MARIE! Hey, how are you? Yes I got some meds. They are going to dispense them to me one week at a time. So this is the 2nd day and Im feeling better. You have done tons to help me already! Thank you.

Roy, watch that tendon. I heard they can hurt like a b!itch. Watch out Amazons, I heard the kill thier mates and eat thier young, haha

Jax? Where are ya?

Karen, while I was talking to the big woman last night she told me she has a heart condition. I told her about my heart attacks. She told me her heart conditioner is different. I never heard of her condition before. She is thirty and her doctor told her that she needs to take it easy. She and her husband were both truck drivers before she came to this field. Like me with going to college and others asking me why I didn't choose a job that pays more I asked her why she didn't stay with truck driving. Her doctor advised her to get a pace maker. The doctor told her that her heart pump over pumps blood. Have you ever heard of a condition where the heart pump is too strong for the body? She doesn't want to get a pace maker. None of the other aides want to work with her because they say she is too bossy. I don't have a problem with her because I have learned to desensitize. What is strange to me is that the other female aides have a problem working with her because she is so large. I have told her that she needs to realize her own strength and to be gentle with the residents like I had to learn how to be gentle with them. I know it has made me less scary to the residents and will make her less scary to them as well.

I can imagine. Ive been around her type as well and promptly extract myself from thier presence. I cant just let it go ALL the time. If they get out of line too much I will talk to them and then if it continues, I split.

On the other hand, Ive met some real gentle giants, so I guess it can go either way. they are just people with live like us. But they can sometimes not realize thier strength.

No, Ive never heard of that kind of heart condition. You know who might have is Marie.

Its been awhile since I've posted in here, so i thought i'd update everyone on whats going on.

I got kicked out of my apartment and moved in with my uncle, then the apartment people demaned 2000 dollars because i broke the contract and my mom ended up paying that, so now I owe her that money.

But I have a new job at the local airport being a janitor. And since my current job at Merry Maids only pays me for 25 hours, it will be nice to finally be paid for 40 hours, and hopefully my checks will reflect that and I will be able to get back on my feet again.

Also while all this is going on, i had kick in the ass mentally. Instead of crying in my bed every night because i've lost everything, i'm determined to get back whats mine, and make everything better. Crying helps nobody, so now I walk with my head held high for the first time in my life, and i'm ready to stand up to life itself and give it the middle finger because i'm tired of doing nothing, so i will do somthing about it.

Alan - sounds like you are heading in the right direction, good for you. Sorry about the loss of the apartment, but maybe it was what started you in this new, good direction. Good luck with the new job, sounds like a good one and will pay well.

Roy - about the heart pumping thing, it sounds like she may have confused what they said, but that happens. A pacemaker keeps the heart beating and doesn't allow it to miss beats. She may have atrial fibrillation which is where the top two chambers of the heart flutter. If they want her to get a pacemaker, I think she should get it. I have known people, and young healthy people, who just collapsed because their heart started fibrillating (ventricular fibrillation and it just flutters) doesn't push any blood out of the heart. A pacemaker would help her heart continue to beat at a regular pace.

Karen - good to see you back and glad you are feeling better.

Amber - good luck with your move. Things will start to get better for you now, I am sure of that.

Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. My computer is giving me fits so I haven't been on much, won't allow me to type most of the time, but is on good behavior right this minute, so thought I would post while I can. Take care and have a good rest of the week.

By the way, I asked for next week off work and was given permission, I was shocked. Really expected to be denied. I get to see the grandkids finally, 2nd time since they moved about 2 years ago, and I will be babysitting them for this time. My first real vacation since I started working there 5 years ago (unless you count my 2 week leave for my surgery - but I am not counting that as vacation). Take care.