Have to work one of my days off but took yesterday off. Its a hot day, today. Got some cleaning done in the livingroom and will do more tonight. I hope everyone is having a good day.

waking up to hear dad and stepmom figure out how much they owe out (they're filing bankruptcy)....and they're fighting over amounts (stepmom says it's wrong when my dad printed this stuff out)....and she thinks i don't take responsibility for my actions....jesus

Yeah, thats the real world. I have had to file banctrupcy twice. When the money is short it makes it rough for all. Sometimes though when relationships are at their hardest to deal with because of rough times it is also when a family can pull together. A house divided against itself has a hard way of trying to stand. I hope you are able to get through this hard time.

checking into the hospital tomorrow. Gonna do a vol assesment. Thay will most likely keep me.

I would say more but Im araid someone will interfere. Im scared and hurt by a couple of guys who have taken advantge of me.

Things have been rough and I can't seem to cope with them anymore. I have to drop my fall semster classes. Im devistated.

That was and is my life and now with the head injury, well i just can't remember ****. Whats the point of going to school and finding you cant remember anything. I have notetakers takes but can't use them during tests.

It's like

Sighhhhhhhh, ugh, men.......... Fukck this this.

Update: called the hospital. They have no beds open at this time. Does anyone know if it is the full moon?

4 effing wings and no beds. Have to keep calling in to find out if they have one. If I go in and they don't have a bed, they will send to a place where men jack off in there rooms and others use sh!t to draw pictures.

Who the hell knows how long it will be before a bed is available and I have run out of meds

Im trying to be resposible and its like

awww i miss karen!!!!!!!!!!



but it looks like i'll be leaving here around the first of the month....if i can't come up with the money myself, my dad offered to pay my bus fare and give me a little cash so i don't starve to death

prayers to you karen.i hope you find a bed.

I pray that you can find a bed, Karen. My partner, Robin who is always so tough had trouble keeping it together, today. She kept crying all day. I tried to prepare for her the passing away of one our residents. Since she is Athiest she doesn't pray because she doesn't believe in God. Doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings though and I found that she can get emotional. One of our resident was throwing feces at another resident which she just checked a little while before our last wetcheck. Her former CNA supervisor which she used to work for at another facility checked every room behind us. Now that person is just an aide like her. **** hit the fan between the two. That aide said she would take care of it. The aide asked me what was up with Robin. Death has a way of screwing with your emotions. I was talking to Robin and told her that she was just as defensive as I was. After helping her too cool off because she was an emotional mush she said that people dying is hard for her to deal with. She thanked me for being there for her. It was quite a day.

Thank you everyone for your words of kindness......not much has happened. I'll try again tomorrow. I wish I had the nerve to tell all whats been happening but this is a public forum and what has been happening is not what I'd want announced, but thank you again. Hopefuly a bed tomorrow.

Well, Karen I hope you are doing okay. Since you brought the topic of creative drawing with feces I thought I would make a comment on it. Seems like one our creative residents had a visit from her daughter, today. We had just tried out best to clean her up and my partner washed the resident's hands three times. Seems the daughter is a clean freak. Reminded me of a Cheech and Chong old tape where one says to the other smells like dog****; Taste like dog****; Aren't you glad we didn't step in it? I mean you get these people who might come to visit once in a blue moon and come unexpectingly and you are busier than a cat covering up **** and they expect everything to be so perfect. I mean come on. I took the little wooden stake they give us to clean under her fingernails and she kept holding the fingers up to her nose and the third time after we washed her hands real good until the daughter was pleased. Then she tells her mom and then just walks out the door. Geez. The humanity of some people. Guess what? After they leave she goes right back to doing what she always does. Its like has a nice trip. See ya next fall. Some of the messes I have had to clean up has grossed out a lot of coworkers and they tell me clean up as they walk out of the room before they gag.

wow three days no posting.....hmmmmm

chirp chirp chirp

Im back form the hospital. DUnno really if it did much good. I thought at first it was but then as I was leaveing they pulled a bunch if crap with my meds and sh!t. Oh well at leadt Im not a zombie anymore.

Hi everyone! Where is everybody!?

hey hey hey karen!!!!!

i think i might headed there myself after the big move

Taking a day off from work. Bought a new air conditioner. I almost drowned in my own sweat putting it in but it is cooling down now in the house. I offered Robin that I would buy the sir conditioner and put it in the house. I also bought her a back set of tires for her truck. The deal was the house would be cool enough to work in to the clean up and the tires were her payment for cleaning up the house. Little did I know that putting a air conditioner would be so complicated. She said she would come back tomorrow early to resume cleaning. She wanted me to come to a funeral at a Pentecost church for a resident who passed away. I thought this ought to be good since she is Athiest. We layed roses on the casket that she bought. Then she held my hand during the service. Then she told me this is bull****. I thought, hmmm. They were giving an altar call as part of the service instead of doing eulogies for the deceased. It didn't bother me since most Pentecost churches I have went to that is normal. But evidently altar calls aren't her cup of tea. She said, "What are we chopped liver?" I said, "I like chopped liver." She said she didn't. Man, this is the weirdest relationship I ever been involved in but I am sure my higher power has some reason for being in it.

There is a reason for everything Roy. I dunno what the hell it is , but Im waiting to find out. In the mean time I think Ill try to find something I can do for a change. School is great and I even made the Dean's List, but now that I bumped my head last month I aint right anymore. So I have to figure out what to do next. Enjoy the time you have with her. You're doing fine.

Glad e1's doing okay.....feeling, how did my 16 year old neice say it?, emo......i wouldn't say emo, i just say there things i feel like doing, but i won't....i got too much sh!t on my plate as it is.....try to go through my things just like i did when i left my ex and see what i'm going to take with me.....and leave behind.....i'm only gonna be able to take a carry-on, and two checked bags.....i already have one of those great big trash bags (the "yard bags") full of clothes to take to the Salvation Army.....can't take my comforter or the blanket i've been working on for my brother.........i'm having to go back up there with LESS than i came down here with.....and all i had when i came down here were my daughter's pictures and art stuff, and some clothes.....i did call my mom last night and i asked her what would happen if after the two weeks came up (aunt said i could only stay for two weeks) there wasn't any room at the rescue mission.....

thankfully momma said this (margie is my aunt), "margie's just gonna have to get to the idea".......

what's even worse.....i think my stepma tried to imply that i'm the reason they are going bankrupt.

yeah right

(((amber))) sorry you are going though all this sh!t Hon. I know what it is like to leave in a hurry with only what you can carry

it sucks but try to stay positive. they may not be thinking of money at all. try not to be so negative about that until you really know. dont set yourself up for a self fufilling prophecy.......

HUGS!!!!!!!

well, i have already put in a couple of job applications up there, and both are 30 miles from my mom's....meanin if i get a job at either of those two places i'll be paying out the a$$ for gas money (unless the shelter gives me a ride.)

yeah i'm already having a panic attack.....over the damn mail (stepmom tries to sound smart and yet she's so damn stupid)

I was going through the bumper stickers (myspace app) and i came across this.....i'll have to "censor" it though..........i printed it out and might frame it and put it up when i get my own place......

"for any person that's ever
betrayed me, intentionally hurt me or two-timed me
I'm not going to dwell on trying to
make your life miserable
and tell you i'm going to fight you
BETTER YET,
i'm going to sit here & tell you

KARMA'S A MOTHER F***ER

and you'll get yours."

better yet.....i might actually take the time to cross stitch it....