Yeah. I'm honestly not bitter or angry or anything, more laughing about some of the extreme lies I've been told when a simple "I'm very flattered, but I'm just not into you like that. Sorry." would be perfectly fine.

Rejection is easy to handle, and yes many times you see that she (or he in the case of women who are rejected) was not right for you in the long run. Maybe I just wish people wouldn't be so afraid to just be honest.

Brings out my rhythmic soul.

Usual phony excuses I hear:

1) "I just got out of a bad relationship and I don't really want to date anyone right now."

In a week she's out dating some other guy.

2) "I just want to be single, free, independent. I don't want a relationship or anything from anyone."

In less than a month she's calling some other guy "boyfriend".



I once had a woman whom I showed interest in not only tell me the BS excuse about wanting to remain single and alone, but then tried to convince me why I should not even bother with women. Like I should rethink my life to deciding that I shouldn't want a woman or any kind of companionship other than family or friends. That I shouldn't even fathom getting married and such and just be alone and "free" as she called it.

THEN...a few months later she got engaged to a doctor from Indiana...meaning she met him around the same time I asked her out, and then got engaged to him within a few months.

Can you believe all that BS she tried to feed me?

On the beach or on a boat or maybe in a park when he was playing sports.

But not in general.

That doesn't sound unrealistic. You just want someone fun, confident, and he treats a woman well. Rather than call them "nice guys with an edge" or "nice guys with a kick", just call them "decent men".

I totally understand when women will reject guys who are overly sensitive, have no backbone, and work every moment of their lives worshiping the women they lust for. I imagined a woman like that and I will agree it doesn't seem fun. You have a house slave basically...not a partner.

Not directed at you, but the only problem is when women see being mistreated as "strong" or "masculine". When they see his emotional unavailability or little games as "playing hard to get" or "being mysterious" as opposed to red flags that he won't give her the relationship she wants.

I think you'll find your decent guy. Just make that clear out there that you want a guy who isn't afraid to crack a joke, be sarcastic and witty, but he is still a gentleman.

Two things I've learned:

1) NEVER think being nice to someone who isn't nice to you will make them later become nice to you.

My biggest mistakes in dating would be meeting women who start off as cool and great, but then turn into either royal headcases or snobby princesses. So now they are not treating me as well as I would treat them...usually being wishy-washy and then later flaking out on me/blowing me off for some new guy.

What was my mistake? Sticking around when she "changed". I learned that it's ok to drop something, even when it's only been a few weeks and the "decent person" suddenly changes into the "bad person". Look out for yourself first.


2) Be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a good mate doesn't come easily. I heard from an "expert" the other day how we will work our tails off for that job promotion, or work hard in the gym to look good, but we won't work hard for love. We tend to think it's all supposed to come easily, naturally, and instantaneously.

You're going to meet some bad apples. Eventually you will meet a good one and then it comes down to both of you working at it to make it a strong relationship.

They're out there, but women tend to say they are the boring nice guys.

Excitement, sparks, fireworks...those do not judge if it will be a solid relationship. Look for comfort, completion, and true intimacy.



I disagree, and what I say here is not aimed at you personally. I have no problem with a successful woman. The problem is that every woman I meet who "has it together" still follows the "marry up" mentality. So while I have a good job and my life together, I am unfortunately not the 6-figure doctor, lawyer, or corporate guy with an athletic body these very women want.

I will agree some guys are insecure and can't handle a woman who has her life together, but I also have seen many follow the illogic that their college degree and meager corporate job now entitles them to a wealthy male.



I don't agree here. I more see the decent males still follow the ideas of traditionalism. They go to a social gathering, see a woman and want some kind of signal of desire. Eye contact and a smile. When they get that then they approach. The playas are the ones who just approach anyone they find attractive, regardless if she wanted him to talk to her or not.

So women will go out, stay in their tight-knit packs, never give any guys any signals, and then go home and complain how no guys approach them.

Or she will take the playa's "numbers game" approach as courage while dismissing other guys as cowards (when she'll later get hurt by said playa), and then complain how she can't meet any decent guys.

------------------------------------------------------------

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not attacking women here, but when I see these usual complaints, I'll delve into the lives of these women and usually find out she either has a taste in her mouth for "bad boys" because she craves the excitement, and/or she's the type who never really lifts a finger to meet guys, and more takes on whoever will just come up and work through her walls of ice...which usually are the bad men.

I say this to any man or woman...you keep meeting bad people, then you have to change up your selection standards and ask yourself if all the "exciting" characteristics you want will really add up to a man or woman who will love you and be good to you....then also change up where you go and what you do. Like someone else said about getting out of the bars and clubs.

1) They fear that when she tries sex she won't like it and thus won't want to do it much.

2) They fear she will only see sex as a means to make children, not as any kind of a pleasure or act of love.

3) They fear she'll suck in bed...and I don't mean "suck" in oral terms.

4) They fear she'll want to wait on sex til marriage...which means whatever guy that gets involved with her will now have to give up on sex for possibly years.


I once dated a girl who was a virgin and wanted to wait til marriage. Gave up sex for three years only to have her tell me that the spark was gone and she wanted to end it. I felt like a fool afterwords. Now I more see sex as a partial "seal the deal" thing...that if she's willing to have sex with me then she's willing to do a relationship and get close to me emotionally. I see if she's unwilling, then it comes off as she'll drop me in a heartbeat when it suits her needs.

Off the beaten path stuff I've liked off Netflix:

Roots
Roots: The Next Generation
Freshest Kids
The Black Dhalia
The Mambo Kings
Zodiac
Zorba the Greek

9:15 AM in Chicago is quite nice. Air is slightly cool, but the sun is shining and it will be a beautiful day.

No

I have not been on a date since last November (by choice).

I'm only 34, but in my opinion I'd say just live your life and enjoy it. Send emails, go on dates, but don't make all this a heavy priority for you.

I've learned in life that one should never plan their lives around "having someone". They shouldn't think in terms of an "us" like a couple.

Everyone is better off planning their lives around themselves, but writing these plans in pencil. What I mean by "in pencil" is that it's subject to change. So you might meet the right person and suddenly want to marry and spend your life with them...you can simply erase and re-write the plans in life. If not, then stick to them and live a fruitful life alone.

I'd tell you to hold tight, keep trying, but don't make this the only thing you think about. Have hobbies, interests, travel, live your life for you. Make a significant other an ADDED BONUS, not a priority to acquire.

I remember a Streetwise vendor I've seen at the same place for a number of years. After a while I just more or less ignore them because if you need to sell Streetwise for 5+ years, then maybe it's time to look into getting a normal job.

She would yell at me saying "YOU DON'T CARE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!" I ended up unloading on her. I was pissed.

I never give my money to bums unless one approaches me as I get out of my car...most of that then is paying so I won't find a brick through my windshield when I get back.

I'd rather donate to homeless shelters and charities that will put the money into actually taking care of them.

Eddie Gein for real life ones.


Dr. Hannibal Lector for fictional.

"Blue Monday" by Orgy

Treating them like ladies.














Kidding, in reality it would be tolerating too much BS from women who would not treat me as well as I would treat them.

Not meant to be an anti-woman remark...just more saying that men and women should really not stick around when they can see the other person is "iffy" on you or doesn't seem to treat you as well as you're treating them.

Howard Jones - Things Can Only Get Better

"Always On My Mind" - Pet Shop Boys