Always looking to the downside of everything. Never being positive, optimistic, or even happy at times.

No...thankfully. A former boss once was literally going to a wedding every other weekend over the summer because either he or his GF had someone they knew tying the knot. He used to joke to me that when I hit my late 20s I'd be getting dragged to weddings galore.

Luckily I somehow managed to not end up that way.



Not really. Weddings just aren't fun in my eyes. Most of them are cash bars and the food is "eh". I never liked the music they play at most weddings (more into underground music and world music than pop hits).

Plus I never can connect really with anyone at the weddings I've gone to. Usually it's mostly older relatives and little kids in attendance. The vision the movies give of loads of hot single lonely men and women never seems to exist, or I don't get invited to those weddings. So I either end up talking to senior citizens who more talk to me like I'm a small child (and the women tell me how I should find a nice girl), or the few people I meet around my age are more blabbing about their kids and home improvement. Nothing wrong with that, but I'm more just an urban dweller into more cultural affairs and such.

So no...I don't enjoy weddings and I avoid them as much as possible. I have two though coming this year, so I'll paint a smile on my face and just deal with it.

I went and met her in person last August. At that time we seemed to connect really well in person, but since that it's become reluctance or hot and cold on her part. She's talked of coming to visit me, but never followed through on them, and even when I talk of coming to see her, I get a "ok whatever" vibe out of it.

Personally, I think she's iffy on LDR because she's done one once and it went bad for her, plus she's more focused right now on getting some career certifications and starting her own business.

Not faulting her or dissing her, but I think the idea of a boyfriend, be it local or long distance isn't anything important in her mind now, hence why I can't justify spending money to go see her when she's more being a big "maybe" on us.

It's like trying to continue pursuing and even dating someone you can clearly tell isn't totally into you anymore or he/she has some barriers to getting close to someone. You're only wasting your time and in the end you need to see "more" out of this person to justify spending time, money, and energy on them.

Some say "persistence pays off", but I'm not going to push and work to "convince" someone to be with me. It's got to come more natural and desired.

Playboy sucks.

When I want to read, I'll pick up Time, Newsweek, GQ, or Details.

If I want naked women, I'll get Penthouse or Hustler.

I almost got involved in one...but changed my mind simply because I am getting a "so so" attitude from her on all this. I can't justify paying money to fly to her and stay in a hotel either just for a "maybe".

I think I've been jaded on women in my own hometown because I either see women I'm not attracted to, or many many headcases. However, I won't give up. I think I more need to find someone local as opposed to even thinking long distance...not unless the girl is going to make an effort to see me more and show me real interest as opposed to a "passing fancy" interest.

Her pics were of a pretty woman around my own age.

She ended up being an obese middle-aged MARRIED woman.

Totally lied to me about everything...and yet hoped I'd still hook up with her.






I don't agree. I think it's perfectly ok for men or women to date multiple people off a dating site as long as EXCLUSIVITY isn't agreed upon.

So a guy meets a bunch of women, goes out on first dates with them, then maybe only sees 2-3 of them after that, then when one wants a relationship while the others decide he's not for him, then he goes exclusive.

I don't see it as leading someone on provided you're not going for a long time with multiple people and you're not telling them all you love them and toying with their emotions to "seal the deal".

You can't just put all your eggs in one person's basket until you both decide this is the real deal and it goes to exclusive relationship. From there it's all about monogamy.

I would look into a blog set up for the site. Maybe set up a blog account on a site and post poems there.

Frankly, the only person I can see who can judge the gays as "right" or "wrong" is God.

So let him do the work.

More power to the gays. Doesn't affect me if they want to marry or not.



They're jacking up the sales tax to 10%. Plus gas is way more expensive here than anywhere else in the country.

What's a good rub for a steak?

Speed dating is ok. Too many occasions though where men and women show up, the men each select three women they would love to meet, but most of the women mark that they are not interested in any of the guys. Plus at times you got the friends who come out for "moral support", but they have no intentions of meeting anyone there.

I would suggest meetup.com. Go there, join some groups, go out, meet new people, make more friends, and maybe either one person will like you or introduce you to someone.

Make sure you build your Social Capital.

Yeah, that is true, but I mostly see "realistic" basically as picking women who will honestly give you what you want in a relationship, and not be someone you have to "work on" or "change" in order to get what you want. Someone who will find you attractive, love you, and treat you as you would treat them.

Unrealistic is more when you pursue someone you know would never be the person you would want them to be to you...but you think they might change or this will be the rare mishap that "isn't like that".



Speed dating is ok. Too many occasions though where men and women show up, the men each select three women they would love to meet, but most of the women mark that they are not interested in any of the guys. Plus at times you got the friends who come out for "moral support", but they have no intentions of meeting anyone there.

I would suggest meetup.com. Go there, join some groups, go out, meet new people, make more friends, and maybe either one person will like you or introduce you to someone.

Make sure you build your Social Capital.

It makes sense, but in reality if she's not into you in a dating sense, then you're either going to get friendzoned or just plain rejected.

I don't know what kinds of women you're into, so I can't figure out if you're being realistic or unrealistic. What I mean by those terms is generally when someone is thinking realistically, then he/she understands how people are, and dates men or women who truly fit the standards they want out of a mate without changing who those people are.

Thinking UNREALISTICALLY is what many do. This is especially the case when you see women go from one bad boy to the next. I've seen enough women who want a man that's sweet, kind, sensitive, will be loyal and love her...but they want that packaged as a shallow guido meathead. That's unrealistic...it's one in a billion that will happen. Same deal when I see men chase the shallow miniskirt and heels nightclub women, thinking she'll become the good girl she can take home to mom, and won't sit there looking around to "upgrade" when she meets better looking men.

If you honestly believe you think realistically, then it might be in your approach and mannerisms with the women you persue. It could also be just factors around you, like your interest in shooting guns and fireworks, or that you're divorced and have children. Some things you can't change...it's really down to finding the woman who isn't bothered by those things.

If you honestly believe you think unrealistically, then you have to seriously do some soul searching and redefine what you see as the "ideal woman". Believe me, ten years ago I was all into the wild nightclub women (hence why I keep using them as examples)...but I wanted a nice girl. Can you see the irony there?

I had to sit and think and take time...and figure out that the women I was pursuing would NEVER give me what I wanted in a relationship. I had to look at myself and realize I was very average looking, when these women wanted above average looking men with way more money than me. I realized these women are not loyal to any men, and thus would not be the kind of woman for me. Now I'm more into sophisticated, laid back, artsy girls. The girl I could make a candlelit dinner for and would want to chill out with me one night, as opposed to always going out drinking. The girl who would go to a gallery opening with me, or be interested in seeing cultures of other cities and countries, as opposed to just flying to the party spots of the globe.

You get what I mean?

So ask.

Agreed.

If she called you then it won't be creepy to call her back.

Some people just get attraction to those who show them little or no interest and yet run from those who show them interest. I like to call those "headcases".

Other times, men and women put on a completely different face when they meet someone they're attracted to. Sometimes people will be all "there" and "into" someone and trying to be overly nice or overly "cool" to them, when maybe their more true self would attract said person. The way you are with friends basically.

There is also the factor that maybe the people who can't seem to attract those they are attracted to are shooting for someone whom would never see them as attractive. Like the class nerd trying to hook up with the head cheerleader when she's only attracted to athletes.

Many times it's just a factor of mis-matches. Maybe she would be attracted to someone like you, but just not you in particular.

My suggestions:

1) Look at the kinds of women you want, then look at yourself. Are you really the kind of guy they would want? Same deal with women looking at men.

2) Make sure when you see the women you would like, that you're not imagining a relationship with them that would never exist. Like if you're into the wild nightclub girls, don't fathom the idea that she would be curled up on the couch with you on a Saturday night, like some homebody. Same deal with women. If he's more the laid back blue-collar homebody who loves sports and beer, don't imagine him as a classy gentleman who will go to fancy restaurants and the opera with you.

3) Make sure you're showing your real self and your best self. Don't be someone you're not hoping that will get you results. Just treat women like you treat your friends...without being vulgar or anything like that. Be more calm and don't worry yourself about trying to force sparks to happen.



mustangtom...I'd also tell you that you should write way more in your profile and maybe a few more images. Show women here you're more serious about meeting them as opposed to a quickly-made profile that will just think you're not too serious.

Easiest thing to learn is cooking. I love cooking. Going to make some friends some steaks, Greek potatoes, and some kind of veggie on Saturday.

Maybe take the cooking classes. You might meet some females there as well.

I don't get the question. Are you asking if teleporters existed, would dating change drastically?

Varies. My closest friends are all in their early 30s. Some male, some female. I have other friends in their 20s, male and female.

We'll all just start walking into dates with portfolios.

Background checks, blood tests, 8x10 glossies of face and body, and records from the gym telling how much one is there working out.