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Community > Posts By > toxicpoizon
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Topic:
What you want to know
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What are they really looking for? I don't want to waste their time if they are looking for one thing and I am looking for something totally different.
Is there a connection that makes me want to go on the date, regardless if we end up dating or not? What they really look like - gotta know who I am going to be meeting that day. |
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There nothing wrong with being cautious. Revealing your inner self to the wrong person is a very frustrating and humbling experience. Because maybe they could use what we disclose to hurt us in some way? Perhaps. You also wonder how much they are truly being open with you. Once a relationship matures beyond a reasonable point beyond a mere casual one I can see more openness. But I can't see revealing your innermost troubles, challenges, foibles, to someone that you are only in a casual relationship with. You have to know who to trust with your issues before you share them. You also hit on another point. There are sometimes we have not come into truthful admission with ourselves with things that potentially affect positive relationships, both with ourselves and with others. thank you for sharing your thoughts, toxicpoizon... and I can't help but wonder that if we aren't honest about ourselves even in the casual phase of a relationship, what kind of substance will it really possess as it grows... or, could it be that our refusal to be honest about who/what we are truly about up front, is what causes relationships to fail so quickly, because after spending time together and we let our guards down to reveal our true natures to others, they then decide that what they see isn't what they bargained for when they got into the relationship.. much like a bait and switch type thing? I learned time and place. There is a time and place for all things. If we are just going to the movies or dinner you don't need to know my favorite sex position for example. In fact that makes me very uncomfortable. But if we been chatting for awhile and we are both feeling each other, the door may eventually open to that conversation and I have no issues sharing then. I think relationships fail so quickly because we want so many different things out of a relationship. In that I believe you must be open about up front and right away and if it chases him or her off, oh well. |
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Topic:
Why not post your photo?
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I will chat with someone with or without a picture with no assumptions, because they may have legitimate reasons why they did not post a pic. I figure if we ever get close enough that we plan on meeting, at some point they will send a pic. Usually by text message or e-mail.
Personally do not like posting pictures of myself because of those who steal photos. They really don't care what you look like, just need enough photos to create a false identity. Had it happen before. I also have to constantly check to see if the pic has been stolen and used elsewhere without my knowledge.The second reason is I work with kids and I am always concerned about what they see. But I do understand the visual of wanting to get a general idea of what someone looks like. I came up with only posting certain pics on websites like this and other more professional pics on my work and civic related sites and never cross the two. |
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There nothing wrong with being cautious. Revealing your inner self to the wrong person is a very frustrating and humbling experience. Because maybe they could use what we disclose to hurt us in some way? Perhaps. You also wonder how much they are truly being open with you. Once a relationship matures beyond a reasonable point beyond a mere casual one I can see more openness. But I can't see revealing your innermost troubles, challenges, foibles, to someone that you are only in a casual relationship with. You have to know who to trust with your issues before you share them. You also hit on another point. There are sometimes we have not come into truthful admission with ourselves with things that potentially affect positive relationships, both with ourselves and with others. |
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We connect with some pretty awesome folks here on Mingle… knowing that platonic friendships can be closer and last longer than some personal relationships, we’re here also seeking out souls just to bond with as friends… and once we do, how far are we willing to go to meet in person? I have an 80pd male dog that I can’t leave at home while I’m gone, so if I traveled to meet a new friend, I’d have to bring Hammer with me… also, if my new friend lived across the country, because of my deteriorated spinal condition, I can only drive about 8 hrs at a stretch before I’d have to stop and get a room to rest… but, I would drive my car and pay for our expenses to make the round trip… To what extent would you go too, if you really wanted to meet and spend time with a new acquaintance? I would go wherever they were or bring them to me if they were my friend, or if we had something more. Friendship to me is the ultimate and I love traveling so that works well for me. While I have only met one person from Mingle (local) in the past from other sites I have traveled the country just to hang out. |
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I think it takes a long, long time to really get to know people. (To see "all sides" to a person.)...Everyone (men and women) present their "best sides" and traits in the early stages of a relationship...The "other sides" take longer to come out. This is why I don't believe in rushing into things. True. This is why you have to start as friends and work up to it, not rush into marriage because of numerous other reasons. |
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Topic:
Are you ready to confess...
Edited by
toxicpoizon
on
Wed 02/20/13 07:47 AM
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Okay, is anybody ready to confess why you’re really mingling here on the various forum boards? Are you just bored, and killing time? Are you wanting to improve your writing skills as poets, and looking for ways to get published? Do you just hang out watching what everybody else is doing, thinking about getting involved, but haven’t seen anything you want to dip your toe into yet? You haven’t seen anyone who really grabs your attention and puts that fire in your belly to come out of the shadows and speak? Is it as simple as making online friends, both male and female, just to hang out with? Are you looking for a booty call, and that’s all? Do you really want to put your all on the table, doing whatever it takes to attract that one person you know is meant for you? If so, do you use the Mingle boards to help you reach as many people as possible, because you never know when or where your paths might intersect? I mean, if you’re not here to use the free services to search for and catch the eye of whoever you have in the back of your mind as what and who you want to meet and make part of your life, then what are you really doing here mingling? And if I’ve left anything out, please feel free to tell us why you’re here, and what you’re looking for…   When I come to the forums it is because nothing is really going on in the other side of the site. No e-mail, no responses to e-mails sent, no profile views, nudges, etc. I have found that out of those that I would of really liked to get to know are either no longer on the site (but their profile keeps showing up) or too young for anything that might eventually be more than just an online friendship. When I am in the forums I am usually bored or cooking. So I log on mostly just to read and see how people are thinking about things. I will post occasionally and get shot down for not thinking/believing/acting like a "typical" male by both the males and females so I tend to not speak as much anymore. The forums do open you up to a wider range of people to talk to if they feel the same way about you so in that I think it is good. But I am thinking my Mingle days are about to wind up pretty soon. |
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Topic:
How important is a home?
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I dont care where they live, just how they carry themself. Totally agree. |
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Topic:
im new to this
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Hello and welcome to Mingle!
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Topic:
Men
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Why is it hard for men to explain or express their feelings? For every one woman that wants a man to explain or express his feelings to them there are several women that would consider him weak and less than a man if he did. It is a difficult balancing act to know when and to whom to do this. After all we are raised not to cry, not to be scared, to show no fear, and to be aggressive. All things that many women now struggle with dealing with. I agree with you on most of your post.. sorry but not all boys are raised being told not to cry, or raised agressive. I have 2 men i raised. Neither were taught agression or discouraged from crying. They were told they were free to express their feelings and encouraged to... i also set the example for this. Still... one of my sons will not cry... even though the tears are trying hard to come through... he holds back with all hes got... he also will not share his feelings at all. My older son shared his feelings from infantcy, and cries when he feels like it... go figure. Its all different. I apologize - I should not of generalized the response as all men. |
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Topic:
Just because he's hot
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Do men care if a woman only likes you for your looks? can men tell if she's settling for him and all he's about just because he's hot and great in the sack? Always dangerous to generalize but personally I would rather her like me for my looks than for many other reasons. Usually I can tell after a few deep conversations - or lack of them if she is settling. That is a sign to me to stop the relationship. |
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Topic:
what you want
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It will work if you both work it. Just takes a commitment and trust hopefully that was established early on in the online version of your relationship.
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Topic:
Men
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Why is it hard for men to explain or express their feelings? For every one woman that wants a man to explain or express his feelings to them there are several women that would consider him weak and less than a man if he did. It is a difficult balancing act to know when and to whom to do this. After all we are raised not to cry, not to be scared, to show no fear, and to be aggressive. All things that many women now struggle with dealing with. |
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Whatever a woman desires, I just prefer that they be 100 percent clear about it and up front. That way I/we can make a decision up front BEFORE feelings get too deep and involved. If I don't want the same thing I have no problem telling them I am not the one for that and they need to look elsewhere. No matter what it is.
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Topic:
Naughty or nice?
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Nice with a side of naughty for the right woman.
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Topic:
hie
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Welcome to both of you!
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Happy Valentine's Day to all!
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Topic:
New n ready to Mingle
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Hello to you and welcome to Mingle! Enjoy your stay.
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Topic:
new new new
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Hello and welcome to Mingle!
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Topic:
MATCHES
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No. It is this site's way of trying to get you to initiate conversation with somebody. That way you stay on the site longer. All dating sites or social sites with a dating twist do this. What is maddening is when they send you matches or flirts/nudges of people who are no longer active on the site.
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