I have seen many women do it but i dont get it. As soon as their r/ship turns to marriage, their behavior totally changes. They assume control of your life-activities and such. As I know it r/ship is between 2 partners and so is marriage. But when that time arrives they make the marriage into one.
Am I not seeing something or is their a specific reason for this? Please share your thoughts

It's a woman thing, you just have to play along and remember deep down you are equal, giving them flowers is good as well.

I think it takes a long, long time to really get to know people. (To see "all sides" to a person.)...Everyone (men and women) present their "best sides" and traits in the early stages of a relationship...The "other sides" take longer to come out. This is why I don't believe in rushing into things.

True. This is why you have to start as friends and work up to it, not rush into marriage because of numerous other reasons.

I believe it has something to do with the personalities of the duo.. I'm more a passive type person, go with the flow and not demanding, whereas I find many 'men' (yes men) I've been in a relationship with believe that to be a sign of submissiveness.. which I am NOT.. so typically the stronger character feels they need to be in control of the relationship, typically because one assumes the other to be weak.. or maybe it's just their 'daddy' or 'mommy' issues surfacing..

regardless though.. in all fairness.. I have girlfriends that take the control position too.. so being the controller is not JUST women.. imo.. it's more the dynamics between the couple and what we 'allow' to happen

Because once you've married her, she has gained a great deal of power over you. Men get married because we want things to stay as they are. But, women get married because they want things to change. Now she has you where she wants you. You cannot leave easily. So, she'll stop watching her weight, she'll cut her hair off, she'll become more moody and less interested in pleasuring you sexually. She'll start making demands of you to do your part. You're the man and supposed to take care of her.

When you come home, excited about some great thing you've done, she'll make light of it. It won't matter to her even though it's a great thing for you both. She'll spend your money instead of her own on stupid things that you'd never buy and don't need. If she gets pregnant, she'll buy enough clothes for 5 babies.

It's better to just say no to marriage.

How is it a woman thing? Do you believe men never try to be controlling?

You sound more and more bitter each time someone brings up marriage here. I'm guessing you had extremely bad marriages (must have been more than one for you to assume that all women are the same) and have never quite recovered. I hope you are able to move on one day, though.

I can relate to what you wrote...In "real life" I'm pretty modest and low-key most of the time...I have a soft voice and tend to be on the polite-side...Some people just view me as "nice" and don't really know much about my "other sides."...I'm a private person and tend to be a loner. I open-up and reveal more about myself when I feel comfortable with someone and common interests pop-up...I think it's easy to make assumptions about people we don't know very well...My husband and I were "just friends" (and nothing more) for 2 straight years before love entered the picture...We had a chance to see "all sides" to each other and knew we were a "good match" and very compatible...We were happily married for decades until he passed-away.

The "thing" belongs not to the woman nor the man. Talk before you get engaged and/or married. Be honest and state what it is you want. If she (or he) tries to make changes then simply say no. Make them anyway and you show them the door. I said cutting her hair was an action worthy of divorce. So she has had long hair from the day we got together. Be honest about what you want and stay strong to the end.

If she (he) loves you then compromise will be agreed on. If not then you're better off single.

Actually, I made that mistake only once. But, I've seen many of my friends have the same problems. And I have never said all women are the same.

I totally agree about being friends first.

You often sound like you're talking about women in general, rather than your ex or your friends' wives/exes.

I have several friends who are married as well and haven't heard these complaints.

It would be hard for me to be in a relationship where my hair became an issue or deal-breaker...I think it's important to have a certain amount of freedom even though I may be married...My husband was free to do whatever he wanted with his hair and I was free too...Of course we may have preferences...Maybe we'd love to see our mate try new styles or dress a certain way etc..But my husband and I stood-back and didn't try to impose our "will" or "wants" on each other...This way we could both continue to be separate and unique individuals in our own "right" even though we were married.

I have to admit that some women go into a relationship trying to change the man they have married. They are trying to mould him to the perfect man but it also does go both ways as I have met men that try to do that to me; ie: telling me what to wear, length of hair, whether I should or shouldn't wear make up;, etc. As we age and learn new things; people do change after time and it's normal that we do. I think the biggest problem is not discussing why the change. An example is why a woman is cutting her hair. She isn't doing it to make a man angry; she could be having headaches; she is a busy woman, or she gets tired of you nagging her because she takes so long to get ready for an evening out, her hair is starting to thin and it looks stringy which is making her look very unattractive, etc. I think change is good for the couple but they need to do it together, discuss it, and do it willingly rather than trying to pressure or blackmail the person. Trying to force someone to change or force someone to live by your demands is going to cause nothing but trouble. We were all born with our own minds and marriage shouldn't take away a person's independent thinking. JMO

I believe the OP's observations are largely true regarding women's change in attitude once married. When the children arrive a further change takes place, and they become the matrons of all they survey. Best a guy can hope for is a garden shed for refuge, where he tries to keep control of the garden.

If a couple has a good marriage relationship, she does not have to be as you say, the marriage is a real partnership. I had a good marriage for some years. And, never was I the boss over him.

What planet do you live on?

Everywhere I look I see men, walking around like zombies, married to fat, bossy women that keep these men wrapped around their little fingers. The men just keep repeating "Yes dear, yes dear. Whatever you want dear."

Yeah; I have to agree with Tex. I see it here far too often as well and not all these bossy women are fat by the way.

Sounds like you had a bitter marriage (or more than one) as well. I don't think I could be with someone if they're so incredibly bitter after their previous relationships.