I think it depends on whether the arranged marriage is consensual if for example I go to my mom and say can you find me a wife I cant seem to find a decent girl. Then my mom/dad go out and find a girl and that girl went to her parents and asked them to find her a husband. Then their is nothing wrong with that.

If it is consensual I don't see the harm in it, intact often I have heard and witnessed in other cultures situations where it worked perfectly. Some east Indians here in BC have been married 50-60 years and care about each other. Their families are awesome.

I also don't see anything wrong with mail order brides assuming it is consensual and the woman is treated as a woman should be treated with dignity and respect. Many guys are decent guys who are simply likely and had no luck finding love they turn to mail order brides to find that special someone. Many women in other countries are wanting to get to America/Western Europe and they gain a lot in coming here. They also may be wanting a man from here.

In the end it comes down to was it consensual and is the woman/man being treated with dignity and respect. If both those things are happening then arranged marriage can be a wondrous thing!

I think it depends on whether the arranged marriage is consensual if for example I go to my mom and say can you find me a wife I cant seem to find a decent girl. Then my mom/dad go out and find a girl and that girl went to her parents and asked them to find her a husband. Then their is nothing wrong with that.

If it is consensual I don't see the harm in it, intact often I have heard and witnessed in other cultures situations where it worked perfectly. Some east Indians here in BC have been married 50-60 years and care about each other. Their families are awesome.

I also don't see anything wrong with mail order brides assuming it is consensual and the woman is treated as a woman should be treated with dignity and respect. Many guys are decent guys who are simply likely and had no luck finding love they turn to mail order brides to find that special someone. Many women in other countries are wanting to get to America/Western Europe and they gain a lot in coming here. They also may be wanting a man from here.

In the end it comes down to was it consensual and is the woman/man being treated with dignity and respect. If both those things are happening then arranged marriage can be a wondrous thing!

Yes though personally I am avoiding it for now. Simply because my career conflicts with having a family at the moment. It wouldn't be fair to the child nor his/her mother. Once my career has stabilized and I can provide for a family and provide the things needed including my time and a stable living location. Then I will consider dating a single mom!

Of course what always scares me, if the child is not mine the child will always come first for the woman as he/she should. Problem is the child won't care about me nearly as much and eventually the child will clash with me as he/she would with their real dad. Only difference the wife will support the real dad but me maybe but not as likely.

The conflict comes because the child is not yours, no matter how much you love the child, how much you do for the child. You will never be that child's father. I would like my own child or an adopted child where both parents are on equal ground!

This depends for me chivalry is alive and well. However I do not ask a girls families permission before asking her out, I did in high school because she was not the legal guardian and out of respect I asked her family. However once a girl is 18 I see no need she is an adult and she is her own boss as such I don't see any need to consult her family before asking her out.

Other then that the whole opening doors, pulling out chairs, throwing your jacket in the puddle so she can walk on dry land, walking on the side of the side walk facing the road, paying for the meal always treating a girl with respect. That is all very much alive in me.

That being said I'm not 100% positive I would ask a woman's old man if I could have her hand in marriage unless it was essential to her. In reality if I intend to marry her and we both love each other I really wouldn't want to ask.

Why? Because whether or not he says yes I fully intend to ask her. If he says no! And I know she loves me and wants to get married and I love her, then I would likely ask her anyways. Only thing is if he says no, now I am not respecting his wishes and I am defying his orders. I am creating a conflict that would not exist if I did not ask.

Then of course their is the issue that a man does not own his daughter. As such if she wants me ask him then I will but if she doesn't care I won't. Because I would be respecting her decision not her fathers. I would likely want to ask unless I was 100% sure he would say yes to avoid any long term conflict and to ensure my wife's decisions are respected.

Christian good guys do finish last, however we always finish and when we finish we do so with a greater appreciation for the race we run, we worked harder then most to finish and have a greater perspective of the race.

Being Christian is far from easy it is far easier to not follow the faith. But following it is far more rewarding in the long run!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with kissing what so ever. Kissing is a way of showing admiration, affection and love and while it is a form of intimacy their is nothing bad about it. In fact I would be very concerned if I dated a girl who did not kiss me. In a way it can be construed as disrespectful or uncaring. Since kissing is a sign that you care about someone. Your mom kisses you, your sister (not mouth sickos lol) and if your in the hospital or dying even your guy friends will likely kiss you on the forehead.

Kissing is an essential way of showing you care about someone. Does this mean it has to be french kissing? No!! But kissing is essential!

I've kissed a half dozen female friends foreheads, cheeks or hands simply as a gesture of friendship and that I care for the girl. On the lips is something reserved for GF's. But kissing is an essential way of expressing your emotions.

My sister is one who believes in not kissing till marriage and I see that as fundamentally wrong. I could date a girl who was saving it till marriage but I don't share that sentiment.

Christian man here, unfortunately I don't do the long distance thing. But I can assure you there are a ton of us. But as some others said we aren't as likely to be found on an online dating site and with good reason. I've been on and off dating sites sporadically for years and haven't found a single date. Tons of friendships but no dates.

Surprisingly Christian girls aren't the ones who contact me and my main criteria for a dating relationship is a Christian relationship.

But if you want a Christian guy their is one place you can find one without fail, Church!!! lol it should be fairly obvious go join a soup kitchen or a missionary organization or maybe go to Bible College.

Their are tons of Christian guys and when I say tons that is an understatement. You just aren't looking in the best places.

Try looking where actual Christians congregate. You'll find an abundance of them!

Hey can I see a source for this? I have my doubts to its authenticity, I tried to locate the source material on Google and didn't see it their. I highly doubt the pope would actually tell people not to be prepared for the coming of Christ essentially. Also I want to see more of what was said then just a couple snippets taken out of context.

I'm not Catholic and I believe the pope is just a man. However I don't think he would openly contradict the Bible!

Umm Mr.Pope when was the last time you read your Bible?

It sort of says no one will know the day or the hour. Also their is a whole parable about the lamp oil running out as a group waited for the wedding bride. The Bible says never to fall asleep in your faith and always be ready for the coming of Christ.

So this means the pope is indeed telling people to fall asleep and he is preaching directly contrary to the Bible! The pope is a man best case scenerio he's a brilliant man of God worst case he's a crooked dictator that nobody can control. Either way he's just a human being, God is soveirgn over everything in the world so ya in that sense the pope speaks for God I guess.

But the pope is human he makes mistakes like every other human. Some popes have been brilliant men and I wouldn't say the pope is any worse then say my pastor. But he is still a man and he will make mistakes he is not infaulable!

You seem to be misunderstanding happiness. Being content is being happy!
Being in a type of bliss 24 hours a day simply isn't possible. If you take time to enjoy the little things in life you'll be happy. I'm happy right now I've been happy through foster care been happy through nearly being on the street been happy as people die around me. Why am I happy? Because I look for the good what positive is happening in the sea of bad.

Ya I too can at times get depressed. But if you focus on what's going well and the positives you'll do better.

Think one second how bad is your life? Now if you think its bad look up what some children are going through in South Sudan. Now try not to be happy and greatful you aren't in that hell! If you still cant see good try thinking about a child in Somalia!

Their are people far worse off then you all over the world. So when your down remember what you have their are people who are happy with far less.

Lastly their are happy endings. I watched a guy die last year in his 70's he was married over 40 years. Before they tried saving him with a medical coma his family asked if he was happy. He said he didn't have one regret, he lived out his days with the woman he loved and that all his mistakes and mishaps helped him grow. He was a bit sad it was coming to an end but said he couldn't have had a better life. Within a week he was dead.

I've seen tons of people die fully content and happy with their lives.

You just need to stop and see the good. Even at its worst their is good happening in life. Even if that good isn't happening to you!

So always remember you could do worse! Things can always get worse so be thankful for what you have and those who share in your pain and support you! Then pray and keep in your mind those that are in far worse situations then you are!

I do make assumptions often not about a persons character. But on what will work, is someone who's profile says sex is extremely important to her going to want to date an abstinent Christian guy? Not likely!

So ya I do make assumptions but only logical ones. I'd rather get to know someone without assuming to much.

Also when I see Rachel Bilson on Plenty Of Fish or Cobie Smulders yes I assume that neither Rachel or Cobie are on Plenty of Fish only 5 km away from me lol.

Sadly online you need to make some assumptions. Other wise your going to get abused and lied to!

A women who was nineteen claimed to be a widow from a marriage that went seven years and had a degree from a University. So how did a 19 year old girl get a four year masters degree and when did she get married, 14?

Ya sorry I'm going to have to assume she's full of crap!
Or the women who said she was 20 but her pictures were of a women who must have been in her 60's. Either those pictures were not of her or she's full of crap in her profile!

Even my profile people are going to assume due to my weight in a picture that I'm lazy and eat unhealthy. What they don't know is I've lost over a hundred pounds since the picture was taken and I am purposely misrepresenting myself to get rid of the assumers lol.

So when online you need to assume but also you need to not jump to illogical conclusions!

Give someone the benefit of the doubt if their is any chance they are telling the truth and any chance your misreading them!

You needed to include my second statement!
But yes a man who isn't just looking to screw a girl does respect her, a guy who's looking to have sex and isn't wanting a real relationship is being disrespectful!

Also if you try arguing that a person having sex constantly with multiple partners is not lacking self control. Check up the definition of sex addiction an disease that is recognized by the psychologist community.

The Government and aid groups have groups for sex addicts all over and it is very much an addiction and those who suffer from it don't have control over it!

If a guy is going to go out and pay money to have sex because he's not getting enough of it or he needs variety. You cant say he has control! Nobody in their right minds is going to spend 1,000$ an hour if they actually have control!

I've seen marriages last 70 years, in fact most of the marriages of gentleman and girls who are strong in their beliefs respectful and loving. They last on average 30-40 years. I don't know any girls who went with gentleman who have divorced in my life. Well of course some gentleman went for women who weren't exactly wanting a relationship!

Fact is if you cant control yourself and abstain for a year maybe two till you get married. His are you going to stay with one partner in the long run? How can anyone expect it?

Why do you think marriages are failing at such high levels? People don't have control anymore. Medical and polls have indicated in 70's I believe the average amount of partners was like three. Today three is considered a saint!

That is nothing other then a lack of self control! People had strong marriages that lasted 20+ years but today it just doesn't happen.

You took one single aspect and took it way out of context.
I did not say a gentleman abstains I said I do I specifically said Christian gentleman and not a normal gentleman. Difference a Christian gentleman is going to follow his spiritual beliefs as well as be a gentleman.

When I said a non-Christian gentleman I said he's not just going to bang a girl. He wants to respect her to make sure the timings right and that it means something. That is is special and intimate!

Do I believe those who are promiscuous lack self control? Of course I do if they didn't they wouldn't be banging everyone in sight.

Anyone who has had 12+ partners or such obviously lacks control that's not something that can be debated. A person who requires sex constantly doesn't have the self control to stop!

I'm sorry that's simply the definition of self control and yes I have self control. Do I disrespect people who don't? No more then the fat guy who keeps eating McDonald's and Burger King!

Its unhealthy its been proven both medically and psychologically damaging.

I have seen what it does to girls I know. As well as guys I know its destructive.

Even on this site we see pages upon pages about how destructive it is.

Girls getting screwed and dumped days later. Crying their ***** off but they go straight to the next guy who does the exact same thing. Why? If they realize that they get dumped all the time when the guy has sex with her, why does she keep going for the same sex crazed scum bag?

Same goes for a couple buddies of mine. They have no self control their blind. This one guy sleeps with often two to three women a month. Sometimes a couple a week, he's a player. But you know what he's hurting and always asks me why he cant find a women who loves him why he cant fall in love?

Well I personally know girls he destroyed who loved him, but he didn't have control over his dick!

So yes someone who is having sex constantly doesn't have the self control. It isn't healthy because they'll end up with STD's they'll end up with abortions or unwanted children. They'll end up 40 and single or married to some low life.

Sex isn't bad and in a loving and strong relationship it is vital.

But if your having sex 24/7 and your doing it with tons of people. You lack self control!

If your a girl who's constantly getting abused dumped and left on your own when you give it up. Stop going for someone who's going to give it up! Its as simple as that, show some restraint some.self control and find a guy worth giving it too!

Also yes a gentleman does give his girl sex, but not if it compromises her or your relationship with her.

If your going to have sex on your first date, your not a gentleman plain and simple. Third date and your still not really. You wait till the timing is right and you are respectful and are caring!

Texas has it almost spot on.

A gentleman cares more about honesty, integrity and respect.
Also yes most respect him, a little too much it gets annoying lol!

The two things I disagree with one is the actual definition.
-Cares about his income

A gentleman is not only after wealth. Wealth corrupts and a gentleman values respect and dignity over money. Values love and emotion, they tend to end up making good money because people respect us and we are very good with being supportive and making friends.

As for sex, personally I don't have it period till theirs a ring!

But a gentleman non-Christian is going to wait till he thinks it is special. Till the relationship is solid and that she loves him. A gentleman values integrity and compassion and love above getting laid so until that is all in place he's not likely going to sleep with you.

I love how I got some super hot chicks messaging me. They wanted a gentleman who would open doors, pull out chairs that would wine and dine them. Then ravish them every night making them climax and orgasm an amazing orgasm!

Umm that isn't a gentleman that's a player and that's probably what you've been getting constantly. A gentleman isn't out to screw you every night before a loving and committed relationship is established!

Gentleman really differs from girl to girl and what they define as a gentleman to them.

I call myself a gentleman because I'm old school. I open doors, walk on the side facing the street, pull out chairs, have manners and treat people with respect and dignity. I'm also abstinent till marriage and value emotional and spiritual intimacy to sexual.

Now to answer the question am I a non-sexual android? Heck no!!!! I just have self control theirs a major difference. Look at the fat guy who loves cheese burgers, then you see a skinny guy, does that immediately indicate he doesn't like cheese burgers? Know it just means he's not a fat *** and has some self control.

Sex is like other things, some people have no control of their bodies while others do. That doesn't mean the guys that do or girls are any less sexual.

Trust me, people who abstain are still extremely sexual, we just have some respect for the woman we are interested in.

Were also smart, we know that sex clouds judgement. Wed rather not go through a dozen break ups and end up with an STD before finding our true love. Instead we wait find our true love and go nuts!

Trust me in church their are a lot of really really sexual people. They just respected each other till marriage and their relationships last because of it!

A church is a building for sinners and those who want help. Nobody should be kicked out nobody! That being said their is no place for homosexuality to be promoted as it is un-biblical. But openly gay people should be welcomed with open arms into any church, as long as we aren't promoting the choice and life style.

The saying "hate the sin, love the sinner" applies to everyone and everything.

We shouldn't judge and we shouldn't treat them in any way Jesus wouldn't!

Of course I don't condone giving membership to someone who is not working on their sins. This means if your gay and your proud and you aren't trying to remain abstinent from homosexual intercourse then you shouldn't be granted membership.

In the same way nobody promoting sin of any kind should be granted membership. Simply put members need to be active Christians and to hold membership you need to be held to a high standard.

Also the whole gay is a choice, I tend to believe it is a bit of both. For most it is a choice but for many it is a mental illness.

I haven't met a single man born gay!

I know several homosexuals and none of them were born that way. Though they all say they have no choice.

One in particular was straight I know he was a he watched porn alot I know exactly what he watched and he certainly was not gay. He started dating a bisexual and she got him to go to orgies. A few years later he was gay, not bisexual he was gay!

He said he had always been that way he was born that way. Umm I know what he watched I know what he did watching that. If you watch lesbian porn 24/7 and you don't even like porn with a guy banging a girl because you only want to see boobs. Your not gay!

I know another guy who's mom dressed him up in dresses and sent him to school with make up and earnings. She didn't want a boy, she raised him as a girl, surprise he turned out gay. He swore he was always gay. He became a Christian at a later date and married a Christian lesbian and she miscarried. Apparently they were sexually active. Which makes me wonder how that can occur if he was gay.

I know several others.

But then I also think of the pastor in the US, it came out that he was sleeping with male prostitutes. He then openly admitted to being gay and pretending his whole life. In an interview he claimed he was always gay and that he was never attracted to his wife! But he had three kids and his wife was unaware?


These things make me think homosexuality is a mental disorder. Actually gender confusion disorder is considered a mental illness, I would say that is what it should be called.

Fact is a gay guy once told me "I'm gay I'm not attracted to women" I said "Well when you say nothing you don't even get a boner" he replied "No I've never once been physically attracted to a woman I couldn't have sex with one if I tried". He then started dating a girl later to hide it. When they broke up she was furious and told everyone he was a fake that he had slept with her. He later admitted to me that he did.

So the guy who wasn't at all physically attracted to women was able to have sex with one? A pastor who never once was attracted to his wife had several children and had a sexual relationship for years and she never knew!

So I have to wonder really just how legitimate the disease is. I know it must be real since so many people are afflicted by it. But it just doesn't make sense!

I know the actress from Sex in the City came out and said it was a choice, the gay community destroyed her and days later she changed her story.

Fact is I haven't met one gay guy yet who was actually 100% gay.
I know of several cases where gays got married and went on to have kids, others which ended up going back to the gay life style.

So I have to wonder if your gay and you cant get aroused by a woman. How do you have kids and how doesn't she realize it for over a decade? You'd think if you were gay your wife who your having sex with would realize lol!

As a Christian I obviously do I could really get into the topic but you don't want to read everything I could write. Simply put we have free will but God knows everything past and present and knows exactly how you will react. As such yes we have free will but everything that occurs happens for a reason and God knows the beginning and the end.

Think of it like this. If your a nerd you'll understand. If I build a computer program that has its own AI. That AI is making its own decisions but I designed it I know exactly what the AI will do, how it will do it. So now I can picture the future and if I want I can throw things in and the AI will react of its own free will.

Trying to think of a lamer way to explain it for all the non tech people.

You have a puppy, you starve that puppy and then provide it with food. Does the puppy have free will to eat the food? Yes it does but you know how the puppy thinks and you know he will eat the food.

Absolutely everything in life happens for a reason. Every pain every heart break, every death every happy moment!

I've gone through hell in my life but today I am who I am because of that hell. Things happened to me which have saved lives. I've saved suicidal girls who suffered abuse, I've saved teenage boys from killing themselves. I've helped people get clean from pornography. I've helped people forgive themselves after some prick molested them. I've helped serial killers (No I'm not a killer lol, just met a lot of shady characters in my.life).

All of my heart ache every last one has helped me help others.

Every single.peice of pain has made me a stronger person!

I wouldn't change a single thing about my life, I am proud of everything and anything I have gone through!

Wow I would hardly consider ditching a 100 beautiful women after screwing them as an accomplishment to be proud of. No offense its more of something to be embarrassd about, you couldn't find a single woman worth getting married to instead you had to fill your life with meaningless flings and destroy woman's lives. Sort of pitty you!

What kind of horrible country are you from?
Seriously in Canada if a beautiful women is sitting at the side of the street crying shell have a crowd in minutes trying to console her.

The least you'll get is a player swooping in to try and get laid. But the people who walk by aren't just going to let you cry. Someone will do something!

That's horrible it has happened to me before, but my mom called at like 3AM because she realized it just a tad late lol, But in foster care nobody cares about your birthday, you go upstairs and say "its my birthday" your foster parents might say "happy birthday now eat your breakfast the bus is going to be here soon" your foster siblings couldn't care less either.

So I've gotten used to people forgetting.

My dad rarely remembers either and my friends only remember because of Facebook lol!

You know what you just have to think about, you don't need them and if they don't remember your birthday screw em! You are a valuable human being and if they cant realize that then you don't need them.

Don't get sad their are people who care and when you find a boy friend, he better freaking remember! I personally program my phone with people's birthdays that way I get a loud notification telling me to call them. Anyone important I give myself a day heads up invade it slips my mind.

You should never be ignored on your birthday!
Find new friends lol, since you can't find new family just ignore them they don't deserve to call you family!

Depends on the context of the relationship! In a dating relationship heck No! The person cheated on you they are not going to stop their is no reason for them to stop, I mean what's going to happen as a result? You dump them? Obviously they did not value you, take off!

But if your married, then yes you give them another shot. But not without councilling and serious work to fix the problem. Their is a reason someone cheats and you need to figure out how to fix the situation. Then you need to lay out serious repercussions if it occurs again.

I would possibly give my wife one and at maximum two more chances. I believe when you love someone you forgive them and if I married her then she is my all in all and I would give the relationship every possible chance to get fixed. But if the issue re-occured more then three times divorce papers would be filed!

Simply put its a difference of commitment level. Dating you have no obligation to your partner what so ever. If you forgive them that is being very nice and you don't have too! In fact your probably making a bad decision to take them back.

But once you are married its different you made a commitment to love your spouse and to be by their side through thick and thin! To accept all of their faults to forgive all transgressions. As such you have an obligation to try and make things work!

Once someone cheats they are showing they aren't faithful.

I've seen marriages survive and are strong where the husband cheated was caught twice and forgiven twice. He turned it around and was loyal to his wife since. We know because she hired a PI to track him his phone was bugged and their was no where he could hide.

But I've seen it work out the other way. A guy forgave his wife five times for cheating and when the church finally gave up on saving his marriage he decided to accept it. Now his wife sleeps with anyone she wants and he just sits like a puppy dog at home waiting for her to come back.

So forgiving and working on a marriage can work but know when to give up! Once it hits five times you know your relationship is long dead. But if your dating then their is no obligation at all any fixing you do is fully up to you!