Do you make assumptions about people here without knowing much about them? Do you assume based on what they've written in the forums? Or how they answer a certain question? Or, do you try to get to know people before making assumptions?

For example, a guy recently wanted to know what was wrong with me, because I'm 33 and have not yet been married. He assumed there must have been something wrong, as he said most people get married before then.

I try not to assume things about others. But at times the way they write things or say things gives me a pretty good idea what kind of person they are...

There are times I have thought I have gotten to know someone then they say something or post something that blows my mind. And I realize they were not the person I thought they were...

As far as being married heck my younger sister is fixing to turn 40 this year. She has a son that is around 15 now she has never been married. Close but has not yet...

Does that mean there is something wrong with her? Hell no the girl is beautiful, has a figure and smart and sweet as she can be. She just has not found the one that she wants to go there with yet....

Odd isn't it? It's considered abnormal to still be single when you're in your 30's, but completely normal to have been married and divorced multiple times by then.

I try not to judge those who have been divorced, either. Everyone has their reasons. But yeah, some do think that being married and divorced is better.

Sometimes it's hard not to assume things about people based on what they write here. But then I try to consider how people think about the way I write and many are a bit off on that.

If people would be themselves and not hold back, when they are on line and posting/stating things in forums, there would be no reason to assume anything. Isn't the point of joining the forums and posting your opinions is to let others know how you think, who you are and where you stand?

So I guess if people are assuming incorrect things about a person, maybe that person is not being truthfull or hiding things about themselves in the forums.

And no, I do not assume. I wait to hold judgement till I meet them in person.

i totally agree wt u.be urself no pretense.no matter wat there is always sm1 that wlld like u 4 being u.

I disagree. Just because someone assumes incorrectly about someone, I don't think it necessarily means that person is not being truthful or hiding things. I think in many cases, the person doing the assuming is reading into things that aren't there. Of course, that's not always the case.

In Mental Health, assumptions or in the lingo "clinical experience" is viewed as very suspect. Yes, I use my clinical experience to inform me as to possible directions and/or areas for exploration. However, I do not use it for diagnosis or planning, only assessment. For example, I met two women this w/e, 1 was a client, 1 was not. On one I observed very faint scars of stitching on a wrist; the other had a "Zen circle" tattoo on her wrist, I asked her about it. The assumptions here should be clear, however I only keep in mind that both women have a past, parts of which were very painful and I should be more gentle and kind when interacting with them- not my usual azzhole self.

I didn't see the conversation, but he could have meant it as a compliment. Something like "You are pretty and smart, why hasn't some guy snatched you up yet?"

It's perfectly normal to make assumptions about people. It's a learned skill to not make assumptions, it does not come naturally.

I think we all make assumptions from time to time, sometimes we are right, but I would guess that we are more often wrong than right. At least that is my assumption.

There is something almost twice as wrong with me as with you, probably the same thing. I'm 58, almost twice your age, and also not married, ever.

I don't think it's going to change my world view or my credo on how to live life, if a body outside of me thinks I am living wrongly.

I agree inasmuch as we need to make assumptions. We can't start with each new person from scratch, when we want a short cut to his character. If we did not make shortcuts, then with all the people we meet, we would be like dogs, not knowing what the next person is going to do: bite us or wag his tail.

It is nothing more than an economical way of getting around on the social landscape. We know, for instance, that SOME but not all Italians are mafioso, and that SOME but not all people of any nationality are criminals, probably in the same ratio, including all skin colours and whatnot. We assume that some are criminals, and some are mafioso, if they are Italian. We must gather evidence to see if a person is a criminal, but the assumption helps us with keeping an open eye and upholding the possibility that a person of any nationality is a criminal. This helps us, because we are on the alert. If we assumed that nobody is a criminal, then we would be sourly hurt once in a while, to a much deeper and much higher degree than now that we assume some are criminals.

I also agree with spider that we are more often worng than right, but only if we take the wrongs as values that dominate. Because, in my opinion, some things we assume about one particular given other, are wrong, and some things we assume about the SAME person are right. You can't be all right or all wrong always about everybody.

Nope.

Yes, I do agree that we all make assumptions from time to time. It would be tough to never do so.

most people are not you.
most people get divorced.
most people do not realize the weight of true commitment.
most people act without thinking.
most people are not as prudent as you.
most people don't know what prudent means.

there is nothing wrong with you except for being bothered with fools asking idiotic questions that may make you feel insecure.

It is hard to not make assumptions. I assume everybody here is nice and decent. I'd hate to be wrong.

I would rather that you did not assume that of me. I would prefer for you to wonder if I were indeed Dr. Livingstone or not, tending more to believe that I am.

I usually DEVELOP opinions about people over time, by observing their words and actions collectively instead of any one or two instances,,,,

the exception is probably the 'first impression' type thing, I do draw conclusions about maturity by how someone approaches me or speaks to/addresses me initially,,,

That's interesting, do you use any preexisting assumptions when you build your opinion? Like that a boy must like girls (not always true) or a funny man likes to make others laugh (sorta true) and a thrid man who cannot make anyone laugh, REALLY wants to make others laugh (true 100%).

Or when you meet a woman, do you assume she still is capable of having sex, or you observe first?

Guess what my preferred method on the subject is. You are allowed one guess and one assumption.