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Community > Posts By > Unique2468
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Topic:
So.....................
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I have been dating this wonderful man for the past 11 months.Things were great but we have a little problem that is going to end up being a big one if it doesnt get better. I am 5 years younger than him and I think that we are sexually incompatible..........I have a high labido and he doesnt..........so what should I do end it now or should i try other things(which I have but) its kind of becoming a pain............(Advice Please!) A guy not wanting alot of sex usually means one of three things. He's depressed, your not doing what he likes or he's just not that into you and or cheating. My last gf lasted a very very short time because sex sucked. I didn't want it, because she was the type to lay there or want this and that. You kinda have to exparament with each person to find what they like, unless there REALLY expierenced and know. and that doesn't mean just the amount of times. It means the amount of stuff they tried. Honestly, sex is usually the easiest thing to fix. I had a friend who saved her marriage and sex life simply by dressing up as a catholic school girl outfit once a week and learning how to talk dirty. It seems kinda silly, but it's true. Usually there is one thing that each person has that turns them on so much that there pretty much always ready to go knowing its there. To be honest, traditional quickies and the same repeated things is what makes it uninteresting for most guys, cause we are visual people. That being said, it's stupid to end a relastionship if sex is the only problem. Thing is, i've never heard of a relastionship where sex was the only problem, nor one that was good everywhere else but sex. There is usually a missing piece hidden somewhere. Sex may seem like no big deal but then you just said that your relationship ended because the sex sucked.............I think he is into me but I think that I have been the aggressor so long he just waits for me.............by the way thats why im askig for peoples opinion so that i can see a different perspective.............I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him but if we lack communication what is the point........... Well see, thats what i mean. Yes, sex sucked last time, but it was because she said she liked one thing, but in turn really didnt, and when i told her what i liked she just didnt bother doing it...ever. Thats not sexual incompatability, thats just really bad communication. The one time we did communicate, it was awkward at first and i didnt really get a chance to get comfy with it. If you can find a way to encourage him to tell you what to do in bed, and for you to tell him what to do WITHOUT hurting his ego, yours, or messing with any issues, then sex honestly gets to a whole new level. Most people can't, simply because its awkward at first and you feel stupid. Honestly if i was a chick, i would flirt with the guy to find out differnt things to try. Maybie watch a porno and see what he likes. 11 months of the same sex makes it routine (if its the same) and makes it less desireable then before. Honestly, most chicks hate to hear this, but we like it changed up a bit. If you start it, then yea, we probly expect you to change it up. The fact that your the aggressor might also be huge into it. I love being jumped every now and then. It's a turn on, but it's also a turn on to jump a sig other. In my expierence chicks that where always the aggresors usually made it hard for me to make the first moves. Even when we where dating for a bit. Either there intimadating, or you honestly think they prefer it that way. One thing one of my ex's did that totally broke that was she dressed up in something i thought was completely hot, and just did her normal day to day things until i just was like **** it, i want some. Though it took a few and i dont think she expected that result. End result, if you keep trying with the guy you'll get frustrated before you figure out what works. You'll figure out what works or find out that nothing works sooner or later. If you really planned on spending the rest of your life with him, then maybie it's worth it to follow the path to the end and see. See you have said it best thanks for that little insight of what men think.........I tried to talk to my guy friends about it and all they would tell me was to dump him............wth and I was like can you give me some insight of how guys think and they were like we just did...........UHHH....... I do understand that i have to have a open discussion with him that is for sure......i also think that i am mos def backing off on being so aggressive because then he is expecting it and I got that this weekend..... On the fact that I want to spend my life with him he is a great guy but so are many other guys should I sacrifice something that is part of making a relationship work (intimacy).......then what is the point then we should just be friends since friends dont have to be intimate (real friends)........... If he's being romantic and holding hands, and all that, then somethings up. If its new, he's probly depressed. If it's always been that way, then there may be other issues, or he may not be 'awakened' yet. Most girls and guy's love sex to the point of obession. When they don't its usually they either haven't expierenced what they like or to much stress is going on in life. I know for me i litterly can't have sex unless i atleast trust the chick. So it's no use otherwise. But if i do, then i can pull 24 hour shifts if i'm close to her. Some people have weird quirks like that. |
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Topic:
So.....................
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Have an honest, non-accusatory talk with him, and make it clear to him that you view this as a real issue. See if you two can come to some sort of agreement that might work well for both of you. If not, then you need to decide whether you can live happily in a relationship where you're not sexually satisfied. good advice... but let me point out one thing. When you bring most guys into a 'talk' it's implied that its accusatory. Now when you tell a guy he's not sexually santisfying you...thats generally a recipe for disaster. It's knda like telling a guy he has a small ****. Even if its not true, it will always be in the back of his mind and he will always try to make up for it. If you have the talk you gotta do it in a way where it makes him feel more confident in bed, not less confident. I would hope most people wouldn't get defensive off the bat when you try to communicate something with them in as emotionally neutral a way as possible. How are you supposed to form a healthy relationship if you can't communicate openly with each other about these kinds of issues? "You're not sexually satisfying me" sounds a lot different from, for instance, "I have a really high libido and I'm feeling frustrated with the disparity. I would love to have more sex with you and see if we can work toward a happy medium for both of us. Any ideas?" See thats very very true. Some girls do need to realize all men simply can't do that, or don't want to. Same as not all girls want to sit down and talk stuff out. I'm the type that loves to talk stuff out, and rarely gets offended. Even with that being said, if you tell me i suck in bed, or that i'm not santisifying you, then yea, i'll end up taking it as an attack on my manhood. It's not that i want to, it's just natural instinct. The differnce is i can probly handle it and get over it. There are alot of guys where you say something like that to once, and they get so incredably defensive that the relastionship is over. There are of course guys in the middle ground. I would just say "look, i love sex, and i love sex with you. We've been together for almost a year now. I really want to f*ck you. So if you have a need to throw me down in the middle of something, i wont resist. If you want to try new things i'm totally in." It sounds a bit crude, but honestly the f*ck part makes it attractive to a most guys. |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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*shakes head and plops down on the couch* *grin*  There will be no plopping  no plopping??? Hmmm ..but I wanna plop *stands uo plops down on couch again..stands up plops down* See the pattern lmao Bad for the cushions...you can plop down on my lap if you want.  can I do that whole "pattern" thing i was tellin you about...stand up plop down...stand up plop down..lol *sits and gets comfy on chris' lap* *unceromoniously pushes chris over* My turn! |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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Happy birthday Irish kitty!
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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why hello there :) hello to u  hi to me as well! |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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Im out for the night.. apparently there are some issues with my flirting too much ...lmfao.... rofl rofl rofl rofl...... Ill see yall tomorrow to shamelessly flirt again.... tired going to sleep now WOW, I didn't know it was possible to flirt too much. Good night, sleep well. ish called being a tease! Not if done correctly. hehe show me! |
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Topic:
So.....................
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i think there is more to a relationship then sex theres romance , holding hands , hugging, kissing , just being together jmo true, but one thing i've noticed. In most, not all but MOST of the relastionships that one partner feels those departments are lacking, it usually points to something else that isn't one of the things you said. Even hugging, cuddling, holding hands and romance has the same effect. When there missing there usually pointing at something being up. Usually IMO it's communication or lack of wanting to try. |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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Im out for the night.. apparently there are some issues with my flirting too much ...lmfao.... rofl rofl rofl rofl...... Ill see yall tomorrow to shamelessly flirt again.... tired going to sleep now WOW, I didn't know it was possible to flirt too much. Good night, sleep well. ish called being a tease! |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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Im out for the night.. apparently there are some issues with my flirting too much ...lmfao.... rofl rofl rofl rofl...... Ill see yall tomorrow to shamelessly flirt again.... tired going to sleep now night night! make sure and flirt with me tomorow :p Oh no worries...I have stalker potential...I havea list of who to flirt with and YOU ARE ON IT!!! lol nite nite stalker potiential huh? I love clingy chicks! |
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Ok, ladies, let's be honest.....I am going to be the one to say it...... Large penis, which was mentioned, but there is more.......The tongue has alot to do and so does the mouth..... Excellent kisser, hands that are big enough to grab the butt cheeks (and most of us ladies want to be grabbed)and at least 20 postions before climax! It wouldn't hurt to have a few laughs as we switch postions...... And water....lots of water!  yea, i've dated a girl who said she only wanted a nice guy with a large penis. She was very happy, i was not. There's so gotta be more then just that in a lover.... sides i hate greedy lovers |
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Topic:
So.....................
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Have an honest, non-accusatory talk with him, and make it clear to him that you view this as a real issue. See if you two can come to some sort of agreement that might work well for both of you. If not, then you need to decide whether you can live happily in a relationship where you're not sexually satisfied. good advice... but let me point out one thing. When you bring most guys into a 'talk' it's implied that its accusatory. Now when you tell a guy he's not sexually santisfying you...thats generally a recipe for disaster. It's knda like telling a guy he has a small ****. Even if its not true, it will always be in the back of his mind and he will always try to make up for it. If you have the talk you gotta do it in a way where it makes him feel more confident in bed, not less confident. I guess if you date sissy pants that's what you have to do....  "Honey, wanna f*ck" should be all the foreplay needed. yea, apparently thats not working. We kinda already established that. |
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Topic:
Positive Aspects....
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I got to expierence alot. Sadly, it doesn't really make up for some of them. Not all expierences are good. But on the bright side, i learned a bit.
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She still attracts jerks that shove their tongues down her throat.  wish she'd pick me instead...   haha, i'm totally a jerk too... oh well. |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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Im out for the night.. apparently there are some issues with my flirting too much ...lmfao.... rofl rofl rofl rofl...... Ill see yall tomorrow to shamelessly flirt again.... tired going to sleep now night night! make sure and flirt with me tomorow :p |
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Topic:
Self destructive
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Did you ever cry your heart out after a break-up even when you knew it wasn't what you wanted or needed in your life? How is it possible that that could hurt so much?Makes me wonder what the pain is all about. Is it just the thought of being alone? AGAIN!!! Thing is, at this moment someone is really happy. Not that your in pain, but that you broke up. You'll meet him some time, and figure out who he is, and he will think god i'm so glad i got to meet her, and i'm so glad that she's not with those idiots anymore. He will be the same guy that makes you requestion everything in life, and wonder how things like that exist. |
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Topic:
too harsh?
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You're a... furry...? (This is like a joke, right?) As far as your profile information--it's odd to see so many people diss you for saying that you have "given up on love". I guess you're not being euphemistic enough. I mean, I don't believe that anyone who says he's "given up on love" has actually given up--it's like an attention-grabbing device--BUT on the other hand the reason so many people say it (in one way or another) is because it DOES get them attention. I guess don't be so explicit, and you'll get the kind of attention you are looking for...? And, er... good luck with the "furry" thing. They are indeed a cuddly bunch but I read a lot of profiles on this site and you're the first one I've seen who just comes out and admits it. (Another reason I think honesty is highly overrated...) yours in Chaos, Scarlett well i tried one way of being and all it got me was shot down so i have actually given up on finding love but i figure that ill stay on here for friends. yea im a furry and im honest to a fault. if someone doesnt lie who i am then they dont need to talk to me. Are you sure your ready to date? I know your hurting and stuff from your profile, but you gotta ask yourself, do you really want to bring that to the table? The other thing is this. If you do find someone who wants to fix you, thats what the relastionship will be about. Eventually she will, and you will A) leave her, or B) she will leave you, because the whole focus of the relastionship is fixing you, after that, what is there left? Trust me, i've tried the fixing route with chicks before, it never ends well, and to be honest it usually ends poorly for the person who helps them out. |
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Topic:
Pretty Boys or Manly Men
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I'm neither. I'm strong enough to be a manly man, But i'm way to sensative and caring. Well, thats a relative term. Sensative meaning i can cry and watch a chick flick, but not like i'm going to run away when **** hits the fan. As for a pretty boy...i dont think anyones ever called me pretty. Sides, i never could get into that metrosexual 'lets make my hair look nice' stuff. More of a combo of a mountain man and a goth punk without the 13 yearold black tears.
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hmmm...because I married a jerk and must have been having crack slipped into my coffee for the past nineteen years????? hahah holy **** your cute, i had to perv after the 19 years...you look like your 25, so i was wondering when the hell you got married |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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Evenin' unique. how are you? taking all the women in the thread again? |
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Topic:
Matchmaking Game - part 146
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hey wench, hey wacky... some how it doesnt feel right saying hey wench.. better then Hey wacky wench  hahahahah |
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