I have been dating this wonderful man for the past 11 months.Things were great but we have a little problem that is going to end up being a big one if it doesnt get better. I am 5 years younger than him and I think that we are sexually incompatible..........I have a high labido and he doesnt..........so what should I do end it now or should i try other things(which I have but) its kind of becoming a pain............(Advice Please!)

sounds like a keeper to me,..

work it out,..( I would )

are you sure that`s the only problem,..though

k,..that`n not what your asking,..

you`re looking for advice,..

counselling ?

The age difference isn't an issue. A person's libido shouldn't decrease when they turn 40 unless there are health issues.

Five years...? That's not that much of a difference, lol.

Anyway: If you and a lover, regardless of age, are by your own assessment "sexually incompatible" then you need to look at yourself first. Don't blame him, it's not his problem. You've been together for less than a year, and I doubt if he's changed that much during that time. Whatever it was that you initially liked about him, therefore, is still present. (If you're just getting bored with him, why not admit it?)

If he was always after you at first and now doesn't want to have sex, then maybe you can blame him, but it's not going to solve your problem. You have to find out what has changed since you first got together, and if you want to keep him, then fix that thing, whatever it is. (My guess is that it's a lack of clear communication, but that's just a guess, and I really don't want to know.)

If you don't care enough to get to the heart of the matter and fix the problem, then stop stringing the poor guy along and find someone else who is more to your personal liking. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

Time to find someone new,






someone who can spice it up a notch,

A guy not wanting alot of sex usually means one of three things. He's depressed, your not doing what he likes or he's just not that into you and or cheating.

My last gf lasted a very very short time because sex sucked. I didn't want it, because she was the type to lay there or want this and that. You kinda have to exparament with each person to find what they like, unless there REALLY expierenced and know. and that doesn't mean just the amount of times. It means the amount of stuff they tried. Honestly, sex is usually the easiest thing to fix. I had a friend who saved her marriage and sex life simply by dressing up as a catholic school girl outfit once a week and learning how to talk dirty. It seems kinda silly, but it's true.

Usually there is one thing that each person has that turns them on so much that there pretty much always ready to go knowing its there. To be honest, traditional quickies and the same repeated things is what makes it uninteresting for most guys, cause we are visual people.

That being said, it's stupid to end a relastionship if sex is the only problem. Thing is, i've never heard of a relastionship where sex was the only problem, nor one that was good everywhere else but sex. There is usually a missing piece hidden somewhere.

I think that he has gotten used to me being the aggressive type thats why............I have spoiled............I tried to talk to him about it this weekend and he kept brushing it off as if it was no big deal..........

Sex may seem like no big deal but then you just said that your relationship ended because the sex sucked.............I think he is into me but I think that I have been the aggressor so long he just waits for me.............by the way thats why im askig for peoples opinion so that i can see a different perspective.............I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him but if we lack communication what is the point...........

Well see, thats what i mean. Yes, sex sucked last time, but it was because she said she liked one thing, but in turn really didnt, and when i told her what i liked she just didnt bother doing it...ever. Thats not sexual incompatability, thats just really bad communication. The one time we did communicate, it was awkward at first and i didnt really get a chance to get comfy with it. If you can find a way to encourage him to tell you what to do in bed, and for you to tell him what to do WITHOUT hurting his ego, yours, or messing with any issues, then sex honestly gets to a whole new level. Most people can't, simply because its awkward at first and you feel stupid.

Honestly if i was a chick, i would flirt with the guy to find out differnt things to try. Maybie watch a porno and see what he likes. 11 months of the same sex makes it routine (if its the same) and makes it less desireable then before. Honestly, most chicks hate to hear this, but we like it changed up a bit. If you start it, then yea, we probly expect you to change it up.

The fact that your the aggressor might also be huge into it. I love being jumped every now and then. It's a turn on, but it's also a turn on to jump a sig other. In my expierence chicks that where always the aggresors usually made it hard for me to make the first moves. Even when we where dating for a bit. Either there intimadating, or you honestly think they prefer it that way.

One thing one of my ex's did that totally broke that was she dressed up in something i thought was completely hot, and just did her normal day to day things until i just was like **** it, i want some. Though it took a few and i dont think she expected that result.

End result, if you keep trying with the guy you'll get frustrated before you figure out what works. You'll figure out what works or find out that nothing works sooner or later. If you really planned on spending the rest of your life with him, then maybie it's worth it to follow the path to the end and see.

Have an honest, non-accusatory talk with him, and make it clear to him that you view this as a real issue. See if you two can come to some sort of agreement that might work well for both of you. If not, then you need to decide whether you can live happily in a relationship where you're not sexually satisfied.

good advice... but let me point out one thing. When you bring most guys into a 'talk' it's implied that its accusatory. Now when you tell a guy he's not sexually santisfying you...thats generally a recipe for disaster. It's knda like telling a guy he has a small ****. Even if its not true, it will always be in the back of his mind and he will always try to make up for it. If you have the talk you gotta do it in a way where it makes him feel more confident in bed, not less confident.

Asking for more sex does NOT equate to that.

She's ready to break up with him over that. Saying 'i need more sex, else we are done' wont be good. saying 'i really like having sex with you, and i really want more of it' sounds good, but as soon as you put in 'need' or 'break up' into any of that, it turns on flashing red lights, atleast in my eyes.

I guess if you date sissy pants that's what you have to do....

"Honey, wanna f*ck" should be all the foreplay needed.

Sounds like he is bored with the sex and looking for an easy avenue out....

yea, apparently thats not working. We kinda already established that.

i think there is more to a relationship then sex theres romance , holding hands , hugging, kissing , just being together jmo

here here

thank you rare