I tried posting this in the Sex & Dating column and it hardly even got looked at. I thought that would be the correct place for this, but perhaps not...

I am a 26-year-old man and I have never had sex. It is my intention to remain sexually pure until I am married. This is a choice that I've made for personal, spiritual reasons, so I view this fact with a sense of accomplishment and pride and not with any sense of failure or shame.

Nonetheless, I have recently become concerned about the ramifications that this decision might have for me. Despite my status as a virgin, I eagerly look forward to having sex. I would like to marry a woman who wants to enjoy sex as much as I do.

As I approach 30, I am worried about whether or not this is a feasible goal. I know some people who were excited about sex and who also waited until they were married, but they all got married in their early 20's. I am concerned that the closer I get to 30, the more I will find that the women who are excited about sex don't care about my decision to remain sexually pure (or who are even intimidated by it.) Conversely, I am afraid that the women who respect my decision to wait until marriage will be indifferent about sex all around.

Is this a realistic fear? I don't really know what I intend to do about it, but I'd like to know what I'm facing. It hurts to think that I might have waited 26 years only to give in. On the other hand, if the alternative is a sexually unsatisfying marriage or never marrying, I don't know which is worse.

I've refuted this point before but you were apparently not listening. Even if this statement is true, DULL / INTERESTING is a completely different axis. It is an independent variable of your ASSHOLE / NICE axis. Thus, you end up with people who are (dull & assholes), (dull & nice), (interesting & assholes), and (interesting & nice.)

Neon Genesis Evangelion used to be one of my favourites. It's an INCREDIBLY ambitious series, but it gets too abstract at the end to really make it seem like a satisfying whole. The characters are absolutely marvelous, though and the music does a great job of amplifying the mood.

Cowboy Bebop is definitely good. It's polished in every regard. I could wax on about it, but it's really sufficient to say that there's nothing NOT to like about Bebop.

Three that I particularly enjoy which have not yet been mentioned are Ninja Scroll, Gunsmith Cats, and Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou (Kare Kano.)

Ninja Scroll is a classic that stands alongside Akira and Ghost in the Shell (honourable mentions, but not favourites of mine.) The plot is kind of hokey, but the animation is viscerally beautiful.

The Gunsmith Cats OAV is my favourite show for introducing newbies to anime. It has a plot that is reasonably familiar to American audiences, but in animated form.

Kare Kano is quirky, but it appeals to me because it is an unabashedly human. At first glance, it appears to be a melodramatic teen soap opera. A closer look, though, shows it to be an incisive vignette of the emotional turmoil that is very real to many young people.

My ex used to tease me about this. I get lost ALL THE TIME. When I moved to Minneapolis, the first thing I did after I got moved into my apartment was to go out and buy an atlas. I've used it at least twice a month since I've been here (a year!) I would never cop to being lost, though. I would always insist that I was having an adventure.

Ultimately, loving myself too little is what's holding me back from doing what it would take to meet the person whom I so eagerly wish to love. It's a rough habit to get out of, though. Maybe having this discussion with you will be the kick in the pants that I need to actually start practicing the self-love that I need.

I know about the grouping macros. I'm talking about a much more intelligent AI. Like, if the enemy changes directions then the formation changes orientation too, without the player having to tell it to. Or wouldn't it be AMAZING if the AI were smart enough that when the group of units got attacked from both sizes that the swordsman form a defensive ring around the archers?

I think that a lot of people feel this way. They're harder on themselves than they are on other people and they frequently expect that others will be hard on them too. I know that this is a problem with which I sometimes struggle. I'll get into a mindset where I'll say things to myself like, "I deserve to be lonely" or "Other people have plenty of reason to avoid me." It is difficult to recognize when you get into such a funk that these statements are not true. If you're anything like me, you perpetuate your own loneliness because although it is uncomfortable, it is at least familiar.

I've actually felt caught in a Catch 22 when it comes to this. Apparently, even one's "crazy and wild" side is subject to conformity. If you're wild and crazy in the wrong way, you get labeled as creepy. (And I'm not talking about doing anything illegal, dangerous, or perverted. Really mundane stuff, like putting a stuffed animal on one's head, just for laughs.)

I've always wanted a RTS/T game where you had more control over tactical GROUPS of units. One of the reasons why I think that a lot of people build primarily one unit in most RTS/T games is because they're easy to control. If a game let me give general formation orders to a group of units (like archers in back, swordsmen in front) that would be fantastic.

Jess, sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying at first. I thought that you were trying to ask why people take the ending of relationships so hard. Or why people don't take a more pragmatic, free-flowing about getting in and out of relationships.

Jess, companionship and intimacy are pretty important needs. (Note that I don't necessarily mean intimacy in the sexual sense.) For various reasons -- cultural or religious taboo, personal preference, traumatic experience, etc. many people do not feel that the most deeply satisfying degrees of companionship and intimacy are appropriate for casual relationships. Close relationships serve the purpose of providing a source of nourishing companionship in a fashion that is more universally accepted.

I tend to be rather long on the rebound too, so I have a notion of what you're going through. In the case of my last breakup, it helped that after I had a few months to get her through my system, I realized that some of the things that she had done really made me angry. That made it easier for me to move on.

I think that Jess642 has the right idea, although not quite in the way that you've applied. It isn't just a matter of having sex with other men. In my experience, going through the motions of moving on is a good step in ACTUALLY moving on. Even if you feel a little bit awkward, go on dates and put forth an effort to behave like you would if you were completely unattached to this guy.

After a date, if you find yourself thinking about your ex or comparing your date to him, try to force those thoughts out of your mind. Act like you're over him until it becomes a habit and then keep up the habit until you realize you really ARE over him and you're enjoying yourself as a single person again.

EDIT:
Regarding true love, it sort of depends on what you mean by it. If you're asking about head-over-heels crazy infatuation where you both feel an instantaneous and permanent connection, then no, I don't believe that any such thing exists. For a long time now, I've been operating on the idea that "true love" is the DECISION to care for that person's wellbeing at least as much as you care for your own accompanied by feelings of affection and attraction.

I'm really looking forward to picking up Supreme Commander when I build my new computer next year. There is also a remake of Total Annihilation ("Spring") in development, but as far as I know, there's no definitive completion date for that project. Oh, and StarCraft II is due out sometime in the near future.

Golly, I wish that I didn't suck at tactical and strategic computer games. They require one to think entirely too quickly for me to play them well. I think that part of what I liked to much about Total Annihilation is that I could queue up detailed instructions for my production units so my base was never idle, even though I am a poor micromanager.

I picked up an Age of Empires anthology cheap at WalMart today. It contained Age of Empires and its expansion (The Rise of Rome) as well as Age of Empires II: Age of Kings and its expansion (The Conquerors.)

I did a bit of reading tonight and I actually learned that Age of Empires was released in 1997, a year before StarCraft. By no means is it such an ambitious game, but it has always been one that I have thoroughly enjoyed.

One thing that I noticed, which was not apparent to me the last time I played AoE, years ago, was how atrociously BAD the artificial intelligence is. A single unit on the edge of a group of units will wander away into a massacre if it sees the enemy pass nearby. Trying to micromanage a retreat is like herding 6-year-old children in a toy store.

On the upside, it's a very polished game. The units and buildings are very pretty and the interface is very clean. StarCraft came along a year later and blew it out of the water, but such is life. The interface in particular stands up very favourably when compared to another favourite RTT game of mine, Total Annihilation. Having picked up TA again recently too, its graphics have not aged very well and although its command interface gives you BRILLIANT control over your base, it feels kludgy. As a contemporary, Age of Empires definitely surpasses TA in that regard.

I look terrible in pastels. I don't have the complexion for them. I wear purple like a champ, though. I bet that I would look pretty good in salmon. I may have to pick up a new shirt next time I go to the mall.

Stingscourger, maybe?

I apologize if I have offended. I am one of the people that voted for the removal of your thread. There was a complaint, but I did not see much in the way of an invitation for others to elaborate or advise.

To me, there's no way to passively tell if a relationship can last. You can't look at the signs and say, "Yup, this is guaranteed to work out." Lasting relationships happen because both partners consciously commit on a daily basis to make the relationship work.

*poking the penguin, 'cause he dared me to*

Well, given what you've said of your boyfriend's history, you might not be able to just come out and say it. If he has baggage concerning commitment or he's otherwise afraid to escalate the relationship, then you and he might have to invest some extra special effort so that he'll be comfortable with the idea of loving and being loved again.