i am thankful to GOD himself for the movie Home Alone being played 4 times consecutively on FX until eleven or so tonite when they finally start playing "that 70's show". four thanksgiving episodes of "that 70's show".

yeah, i would thank god if he would come down from heaven and take me today.

instructor

back on topic

- boomer

it's alot more broken than just my perspective.

might sound like a great cook bcos tha's what i do for a living... or did. have been outta work since may 08. but yeah, i'm a chef. sm:)e

kill me please. i don't want to live anymore.

cooking for my mommy and her boyfriend, and having a guest over. but i dunno about this guest. it's already 14:30 and i haven't heard from her. she can't still be sleeping. i still haven't been to sleep. taking a break from cooking since i kinda got a jump on things. really i shouldn't have been in the kitchen until now but i went ahead and made the dressing, the candied yams and sweet tea. got the planetary mixer out so i can make the dinner rolls, got the flour measured into the bowl. just waiting for the right time to actually start finishing up. still gotta make the green beings, and heat up some frozen pies we bought at the store. i was gonna make tarte tatin, but my mother thought it would be too much work. so we opted for the frozen pies. eh... ennywei, i'll be making tarte tatin next holiday meal... the december holidays. also my mommy's boyfriend decides he's gonna be in charge of screwin up the turkey breast, so instead of making the turkey roulade, we're having whatever terrible mess of it he manages to make. OHHH wait, i almost forgot i am also making stuffed acorn squash. gotta roast those guys as well. then stuff 'em with tofu and dressing. if the guest ever arrives, she's a vegetarian so that dish was for her. plus everyone else will like it too. instead of sausage in the dressing, it'll be tofu. it's still protein. but yeah, whatever, i probably won't have much of an appetite by the time everything is ready anyway. imagine i'll start getting sick by then. i hate my life.

***edit***
i am jealous of ruth... she has GAS!! wait a minute... i'm at my mother's house. she has gas range too. wtf? i had electric at my place. they got the job done, i jes prefer gas range to electric.

it's cos the booteh is gud. tha's why. when u "think" u don't know why u love someone, or u try to convince urself you don't know why you love that someone that isn't really worth that level of sincere emotion, it's cos of the booteh. it's called being whipped.

guilty. <meekly raises hand>

it's not too much work. it's too much to read maybe, but it's not really any work at all. i just wanted to explain each step properly for someone who has never made bread before. it's instructional. really and honestly, if and when u get to making it you'll see just how easy it is. quite simple, and really hard to mess up. all the ingredients are measured using standard kitchen measures instead of weights like baker's formulas normally are. and really all the times have been adjusted so you can take ur time to read each step and know ahead of time what it is you have to do before actually doing it. you read a step, perform that action. don't worry about the next step until ur done performing the first action. when it's done u read the next step. do that. and so on. but whatever, i'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. i just put it out there if anyone thot they might like to earn the admiration of family and friends for telling them they made dinner rolls from scratch. people always love fresh baked bread. ALWAYS. so ennywei, i'll be making these for my thanksgiving dinner. u gaiz have fun with y'alls. ciao now

ok, for starters i'm going to assume that you're going to be using active DRY yeast because that's primarily what is sold in most stores. next i'm going to assume that you have a planetary mixer of some type with a dough hook attachment. if for any reason i am wrong to assume either of the above then message me for the direction revisions. now with that out of the way, here is what you do:

INGREDIENTS:
bread flour (not all purpose) - 3 cups
water (warmed to 105 - 110°F) - 1 cup
yeast, active dry - 1 packet or 7g or ¼ oz. or 1 tbsp
sugar - 4 teaspoons
milk, nonfat dry* - ¼ cup
oil - 2 teaspoons
butter or shortening (or margarine) - 1½ tablespoons
salt - 1 teaspoon

* if you can't find nonfat dry milk or it is impractical for you to purchase it to use only for this recipe substitute whole milk for the water,... or 2%, skim, whatever you have. if you are feeling adventurous i suppose you could experiment with soy milk but i won't guarantee that the end result will be favorable. i have no experience baking with soy milk, but you are more than welcome to try it, because in your kitchen YOU ARE CHEF! that being said, since you're the chef you decide what goes. you could even try adding 1 egg to this recipe for a little extra flavor and softer texture. mix it at the same time you add the liquid ingredients. i thought of incorporating an egg into this recipe but i figured i would keep it simple to start out. probably the next time i make this recipe i will add an egg just to see how the texture and color come out. can't hurt anything, although... you might add just a touch more flour... maybe between a tablespoon and a ¼ cup. see what it looks like first before adding the flour though... if the dough still pulls away from the sides and isn't too sticky to handle, i would suggest leaving the recipe as is. but again we get back to YOU being the CHEF in YOUR kitchen so YOU DECIDE! have fun!


1. start by scaling all your ingredients and having them ready to go. (‡ useless trivia : this is what is known in culinary terms as "mise en place", everything in its place.) now set the salt aside and AWAY from the rest of the ingredients to avoid adding it prematurely. AWAY i said. far, FAR away. good.

2. now begin by dissolving the yeast completely in the warm water. next add the sugar and nonfat dry milk and dissolve them completely too. set aside your milk/yeast mixture. let it rest for approx. 5 min. or so.

3. dump the flour into the bowl of your PLANETARY mixer with DOUGH HOOK attachment. followed by the milk/yeast mix, oil, and butter or shortening (or margarine).

4. set your mixer to speed 1 and mix for 3.5 - 4 minutes. if your mixer doesn't have speed 1 then set it to the SLOWEST speed available. if the slowest speed available on your mixer is still moderately brisk then adjust the times i am giving here DOWN by about a ½ to 1 full minute.

5. after your dough has started to take shape NOW add the salt and continue to mix for 1 minute more. then stop the mixer.

6. switch the gears to speed 2, unless you have to switch gears while the machine is running (some machines operate this way) or if you do not have speed 2 on your machine then whatever speed you have that emulates a MEDIUM speed unless again as stated above, the slowest speed on your machine is moderately brisk to begin with, just leave it at the slowest speed. YOU BE THE JUDGE!!! the end result of this round of mixing is to KNEAD the dough.

7. after mixing at speed 2 for 3.5 - 4 minutes the dough should be elastic and smooth and pull away EASILY from the sides of the bowl. stop the mixer and remove the dough and round it into one SMOOTH large ball and place it into a container that you can seal hermetically either with its own lid or plastic wrap. often the mixing bowl will do the trick.

8. now you need a moderately warm place in which to allow your freshly made dough to repose for 45 minutes before manipulating it to redistribute the gases and evenly distribute the built up heat. SOOOOO, i suggest warming a cup of water in the microwave for about a minute and a half or so, then remove the cup of water and place the dough into the microwave. the microwave should be off and NOT running while the dough is resting in it. the "warm place" you want for your dough should be between 80 - 90°F, and microwaves that have finished warming things up usually have somewhere near that temp. plus the added moisture from warming the cup of water won't hurt either!

9. after 45 minutes have elapsed with your dough ball in its WARM PLACE (mind you not HOT), remove it from its hermetic resting place and punch it down evenly and all over to redistribute the gases and even out the built up heat that will invariably be generated as the yeast ferments. now return the punched down dough into the form of a smooth round ball and place it again in the container and seal it once more and allow it to rest another 45 minutes in its WARM PLACE. you can reheat the glass of water in the microwave now if you think it isn't as warm as it could be. i know it is cold in some people's houses this time of year because we can't all afford the luxury of running the heater. for those of you who can, well, proceed to place the ball of dough squarely in your rectum. that's a nice place for it that aptly meets all the requirements of a WARM place and also serves to mitigate my feelings of ill-will towards you for being rich and whatnot. :P

10. after the second 45 minutes have elapsed remove the dough and punch it down once more, now divide it into 12 EVEN pieces. if you have a scale with which to accomplish this task then scale the dough to approximately a little over 2 oz. maybe 2 and an eighth or 58 - 60g. round each of your scaled pieces of dough into little SMOOTH balls and cover them WELL with plastic. you can return them to the microwave just don't turn it on! wait 15 - 20 minutes.

11. now you will form the little dough balls into their final shapes before allowing them one final round of fermentation. i myself prefer the most direct and simple method of using greased muffin tins. if you know how to make fancy shapes with dough balls be my guest. i will make a suggestion on how to form them, do with it what you will : get out your muffin tins and grease them lightly. now if you like the traditional dinner roll shape, divide a dough ball in two and form the two smaller pieces into little round balls and deposit them side by side in ONE muffin cup. repeat with the remaining dough balls. if you would like to do something a little fancier, a cloverleaf pattern for your dinner rolls, then divide the ball of dough in three, roll the 3 smaller pieces into balls and deposit all three into ONE muffin cup. repeat for the remaining dough balls. cover your scaled and shaped dinner rolls with plastic and return them to their warm safe place, be it the crack of your @$$ or the microwave, and allow them to proof for 30 minutes. proof = allow the final product to develop and rise for the last time before going in the oven.

12. ten minutes before the 30 minutes expire, turn on your oven and preheat to 400°F (200°C). now at the end of 30 minutes you can either pop them straight into the oven OR you can apply an egg wash (1 egg, little bit of milk or water) OR melted butter to the tops of the dinner rolls before baking them. whatever you decide, bake them for 10 - 12 minutes or until you see them develop a nice oven tan. if they are white when you go to pull them out, leave them in until they catch some color.

13. after pulling the rolls out of the oven, brush them once again with butter and serve hot to friends and family being sure to embellish and emphasize how hard you worked on these dinner rolls that you made from scratch. by hand. all by your self. don't forget to mention from scratch... ALOT.

14. bon appétit! appréciez!

u kno... for fun.

-turkey roulade with cran apple pecan bread stuffing
-green being casserole
-tofu cranapple nut bread stuffing stuffed roasted acorn squash
-candied sweet potatoes with pecans and mini marshmallows
-bread dressing (probably stove top or something same as above) with sweet dried cranberries, apples, onion, celery, sage and thyme
-tarte tatin wis baneela eyes kreeng
-possibly a homemade pumpkin pie
-dinner rolls from scratch
-sweet tea ... IT'S MANDATORY!! I'M FROM TEXAS Y'ALL!!

hahahaha, i hardly ever drink! i don't spend any money because i have none. i was simply saying that in the event someone were to suggest i have a drink. rum is the only type of liquor i drink, and the only rum i drink is imported from venezuela. drank it all being upset about this one girl already so i have none left.


ladylid... i wish i really really wish i could just sit still and breathe and relax. somedays i manage... with a little help. other days i struggle. most days i should say. i hope i manage to get right for thanksgiving, i'd hate to not be able to try to enjoy my most favorite holiday. ennywei, i wish everyone reading a very happy thanksgiving and all the peace and happiness to which they are entitled. may you enjoy the company of those you love on this special day. cheers.

sm:)e

i am thankful i have a mother that doesn't want me in her house but allows me to sleep here anyway because i have nowhere else to go.

i could possibly go commit a felony and try to get arrested then i'd have a place to go and i wouldn't be a burden to my mother anymore, the state would be responsible for me... only i hate brushing my teeth with mint flavored baking soda every other week for maybe 2 - 3 days tops. they are stingy with that stuff. for the amount you get u'd think it was saffron costing somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 dollars or more an ounce. cos i know if i go to prison nobody will put money on my books and i'll only get to brush my teeth with more than just toothbrush for maybe like i said 2 or 3 days every couple of weeks, or maybe just the once a month. i dunno, they might have only passed that stuff out once a month. i don't remember. i'd have to commit a crime too. i'm not very good at all that. i mean i am a criminal and all but not a good one. so i might screw it up and do something i didn't mean to.

did the OP say something about ape ****? what?

flock

hate my life, can't get a job, sad, depressed, no friends, no hope. any ideas? i'm fresh out of drugs and rum. what should i do?

friend of mine is currently sitting at a court ordered rehab because he tested dirty while on probation. it's just punishment. it's not rehab. i went to that same place. it's the same as the prison based "rehab" except that at the place i went to and he is at now, one is allowed to wear free world clothes and use your own personal hygiene products. but otherwise it's the same form of punishment. there is no rehabilitation there.

they like to call their inmates "clients" as if they elected to come there to improve their lives. the only reason they opted for that program is because it is 6 months and free, versus the prison based program which is nine months and IN PRISON. sitting in groups all day long from the moment you wake until the time you go to bed. even the "free-time" is monitored and structured so that nobody is allowed to sleep or do "unapproved" free time activities. it's all punishment. it's designed to make the person miserable and dominate their spirit so they become compliant with the program guidelines and don't cause any disruptions for fear of being violated and returned to serve prison time.

the prison based rehab is not "prison time" as one would think. you are in prison uniform and under prison rules, etc. but the time you spend in the prison rehab and waiting to go to the prison rehab in the county jail doesn't count towards your sentence if you violate your probation again. some people spend upwards of a year doing the prison based rehab program because they have to wait for a bed to open up and then to catch chain out of the county jail to be processed into the prison system to begin doing the prison based rehab.

that's what the girl i like was looking at doing. but she changed her mind about that pretty quick and has decided to instead opt for taking her punishment like a big girl, forget going back on probation, just taking her sentence and doing the prison time.

my buddy who is at the county rehab was looking at a much longer sentence so he elected to try and finish his probation since he was nearly done anyway. he only had a month or less left to complete and he screwed up by testing dirty or something like that. IDIOT!! couldn't wait just a month longer to twist off proper like. the drugs have a powerful hold of that boy. he'll put any drug into his body too. he doesn't care so long as it gets him high. he doesn't have a true and sincere habit to any one drug in particular. trash can junkie, if it gets him high he'll put it in his body. not that he is better or worse than anyone because of that name "trash can junkie", that's just the term for someone who gets down like that. i'm not mad at him. i just can't relate. there are so many people like that too; trash can junkies... i dunno what makes them want any drug and not a particular one. i'm partial the one i use. if i can't get it, no other will suffice. there are some that will relieve the sickness, but none that will substitute for it.

ennywei, i probably said enough about rehabs in prison and county jail and all that.

suffice it to say, they don't work. the people who are there don't want to be and the possible few, who maybe just happen to be in that situation and also just by some slim miracle of a chance realize that they need help and truly do want to change, that are there can't get the proper guidance and direction they need to get better because the rest of the people there need to be constantly babysat to ensure they are following the guidelines and not misbehaving or causing disruptions, etc.. very very few people actually get better from any of those places. colossal waste of time and money. but hey, somebody has a job as a result and the suckers that want to prolong the misery of probation and take a second shot at trying to stay clean while on probation have their shot with those places. it's a trap, because they don't really want to get or stay better, they will start messing up as soon as they get back out on probation and before long they screw up again and this time they have to do their prison time. they should just get it over with in the first place. i never understood how all these people get to test dirty for probation multiple times before being violated. i tested dirty ONCE and i got revoked.

i am hated everywhere i go. i don't know what is that i do to inspire such hate from people. but eh, it's my lot in life.

i haven't worked since may 2008. my IRA is gone, i'm lucky to have a mother that loves me as much as she does. otherwise i'd have nowhere to go. can't get a job anywhere. can't even get a job doing fastfood. i'm "too qualified" or "over-qualified" and they think i'll get bored with a job just deep frying chicken fingers. WHEN THE HELL HAS EMPLOYEE JOB SATISFACTION BEEN A FACTOR THAT AN EMPLOYER CONSIDERS BEFORE HIRING SOMEONE?!?!? WTF?!?!? SERIOUSLY!!

i don't get it. i dunno, nobody likes me anyway. so whatever.

yeah..... it's not really ok, but there's nothing i can do about it. i don't have to be a sucker tho. that's for sure.

sciawwy for leaving this thread unattended. forgive me. so yeah, the pic. uhm... pretend u never saw it.

that was ol girl's mugshot when she turned herself in. such a flattering picture i must say.


yeah so i dunno what i been thinking. saw something on that page i didn't care to. not her picture... something else. no worries. we'll see how it plays out.

nevermind