This is the best one I have seen.

I don't have the money for it.

I am having my second operation ( on my elbow) the first one on my left wrist to release a compressed nerve, failed, so I am hoping this operation does the trick. I still have numbness.

I would like to have a nice lady, so that I don't have to spend the holidays alone with.

A lady is standing naked in front of a full length mirror and said to her husband;" Honey I am feeling fat,wrinkled skin and looked like death, say something nice to me, to cheer me up".

The husband replied: " Honey, your eyesight is perfect". He never heard the shot coming.

A man is sentences to die within the hour and the town traveling judge ( once a week he comes through town) ( this is during Medevil times, the dark ages) says you have to ways you can be put to death: First, have your head cut off" Or be burned at the stake". What do you wish it to be, lad?

Well, jude, I want to be burned at the stake, as a hot steak is better then a cold chop".

How does a lady with a case of crabs, gets rid of them? She finds a guy that likes Seafood.

How true in the day and age. What would happen if you we stopped credit cards and credit altogeather?

Not funny at all.

It has been a month since my toe surgery and an the big toe is healed, but yesterday, the toe had to be cleanred with iodine and the dressing changed and the cleaning , hurt and I had pain all night. Has anyone ever had this type of cleaning?

On a positive note, my left wrist is healed from my surgery on my wrist, but I still have the numbness, so in two weeks, I will have the " elbow surgery" to release the nerve and hopefully this will do the trick.

Has anyone had this procedure? If so, tell me about it.

I am. I was up all night with pain, from my weekly bandage change and iodine cleaning of my post op surgery on my big toe.

Another improper joke. Try to keep them on the funny side.

A man and a lady are sleeping under the covers of thier bed and the wife hears a loud puff of wind that goes by her nose and a few minutes later, she yells, honey, what was that that? The husband looks her straight in the face and says" looks like a storm is blowing in".

On a serious side, never fart under the covers, in front of a heater or in a confined space.

A woman is standing naked in front of a mirror and says to her husband: "I am looking old, fat and wrinkled, please say something to make me feel better". The husband replies: " honey , your eyesight is perfect". He never heard the shot coming.

A sick joke, but a good good one.

It is 4 PM and you are scheduled for execution, by lethal injection at 10 PM and they ask you: " what do you want as your last meal"? What would be your request?

Mine: Lobster tail/Steak/Chicken Strips, Onion Rings,French Fries, Apple Pie/Vanila Ice cream and a bananna split, with the works.

Guess I wouldn't have to worry about calories or weight gain.

Thanks PKH. My wrist is all healed and I can use , now I have to have the Elbow release to release the tendon that is causing me the numbness.

No problem with the procedure. Just a little needle prick to num me up and 12 samples were taken from my prostate and sent to the lab. I will know in a week. My level , for my age, 49, should be 2.5, not 4.67.

That it a good one.

Gosh no executions lately. I wonder what gives?

I saw my doctor yesterday and my PSA level is only slightly elevated, but the procedure will rule out any cancer and if the biospy comes back normal, then I have nothing to worry about. I am having the proceedure this Monday and it will take about a week for the biopsy to come back and I will keep you advised. I had this proceedure about 5 years ago and it is not fun.