The fishing one is just a good as the crab one.

How true this is in the work place.

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR '



The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, ' He mated 50 times last year. '

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

' ' THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR '



The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, ' That ' s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him. '

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

' THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR '

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband ' s ribs, said, ' That ' s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one

The husband looked at her and said, ' Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow. '

The husband ' s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery


PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

Most of the peoplw who post these types of jokes are not nice kids, but who cares, it is a way of " blowing off steam" after a long day in the cruel world.

How does a lady with a " bad case of the crabs" get's rid of them?

She finds a man that "that likes to eat fresh (seafood) crab".

I don't get the joke?

Nice Benifits of being a postman.

Today we call em " Dosmestic Engineer's".

I hope he washed his hands.

How true!!!. Marriage is 50/50, help each other.

Yum! Yum!

I had to re post it as it so funny.

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR '



The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, ' He mated 50 times last year. '

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

' ' THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR '



The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, ' That ' s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him. '

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

' THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR '



The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband ' s ribs, said, ' That ' s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one

The husband looked at her and said, ' Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow. '

The husband ' s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery.

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce
the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the
pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows
where.

More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the
toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went
into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had hidden the
liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration he
accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all
over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten
the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.

He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas
tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely
day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick
it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

What! No last meal?

A lady is standing naked in front of a full length mirror and says to her husband, who is standing next to her:" honey, I am feeling fat, old and wrinkled, say something nice to me". The husband replies: " honey, your eyesight is perfect". He never heard the shot coming.

How up picking on men with gray, hair??????

Easy come easy come. Good , funny story.

How true, to the season of stress, buy, buy, buy, debt, debt,debt, drink, drink, drink, jail, jail, jail, Ho Ho.

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

How true it is.

What a neat way to Honor John Wayne. He was a rough and tough movie star and didn't take shi*t from noone.