A lady is standing naked in front of a full length mirror and said to her husband;" Honey I am feeling fat,wrinkled skin and looked like death, say something nice to me, to cheer me up".

The husband replied: " Honey, your eyesight is perfect". He never heard the shot coming.

A man is sentences to die within the hour and the town traveling judge ( once a week he comes through town) ( this is during Medevil times, the dark ages) says you have to ways you can be put to death: First, have your head cut off" Or be burned at the stake". What do you wish it to be, lad?

Well, jude, I want to be burned at the stake, as a hot steak is better then a cold chop".