Correction
A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a Walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

What's that mean?" asked the child. Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with No dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a Walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

What's that mean?" asked the child. Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with No dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR '



The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, ' He mated 50 times last year. '

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

' ' THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR '



The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, ' That ' s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him. '

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

' THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR '

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband ' s ribs, said, ' That ' s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one

The husband looked at her and said, ' Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow. '

The husband ' s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery

" A man/woman has got to know thier limitations".

How true.

Sounds good. A couple needs to accept each other as they are and grow togeather.

Can the jokes in here get any lower then this one about " the icing"? Lesson from the joke:" Always be honest with a child, when they ask a question.

Sick Joke, but good one.

Cooly, explain to me how blonds got to be the blunt of jokes? What about other ladies hair colors?

I know I try. Let's see some of the other members try.

A egg was dring on a highway in his car and ran head into a another car driven by a muffine, what happened?

" You got an " Egg McMuffin".

See I made up this jokes. Instead of copying jokes, how about trying to make them up?

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"
The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?”

A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?" was his response. Another couple of weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"

He just looked at her and said "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV.

One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either.

His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running?"

She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything." "Wow, did he charge us anything?" asked the husband. "No, he just said that he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him" she said.

"Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" asked the husband. "Cake? What the hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker

How does a lady with a " bad case of crabs get's rid of them"?

She finds a man that just loves to :" eat fresh crab".

majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

How true Wonderbread!.

Do you think she should have been released? Will she get the help she needed?

Britney Spears is out of the Hospital. What do you think will happen next?

I sent you message orange cat. Your jokes are good. Makes me feel good.

Orange Cat, Cooly Cat and all of the regular's who post these jokes, it really makes may day to read them, as I have short term memory loss and I am learning disabled and I don't like the way world treats me, so I can come home and turn on the computer and look at these jokes and laugh. Keep em coming.

I keep of a hard copy of the good ones.

This is for all of the mother in laws:

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek