VIRGINITY TEST

Mario is planning to marry, and asks his family doctor how he could know if
his Bride-to-be is still a Virgin.

His doctor says ... "Mario, all the men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit
- a small can of Red paint,
- a small can of Blue paint, and, - a Shovel."

Mario asks ... "And what do I do with these things, doc?"

The doctor replies ...

"Before you climb into bed on your wedding night,
you paint one of your balls Red and the other ball Blue.

If she says ... 'That's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen !',
.
.
.
..........you hit her with the Shovel🤣🤣🤣

Three men and a young woman are traveling on a train. The four passengers get talking and the chat soon takes a spicy turn.
The young woman proposes: “If each of you gives me $1 I will show you my legs”. The men, charmed by the woman, all pull a dollar out of their wallet and she proceeds to pull up her dress a bit to show her legs.
The woman then says: “If each of you gentlemen gives me $10 I will show you my thighs”. Again the men pull out their wallets, hand over the money and the woman pulls up her dress to show her legs.
The woman continues: “If you give me $100 I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis”. All three hand over the money.
The woman then turns to the window and points outside at a building they’re passing. “See there in the distance, that’s the hospital where I had it done!”🤣🤣🤣

Two friends (Juan and Pedro) goes to the mountains to hunt birds. After several times;

Juan: My God, I was bitten by a snake

Pedro: where?

Juan: bitten exactly at my private part (one of the balls)

Pedro: (too much worried) what will I do?

Juan: please call the doctor and get advise

Pedro: hello doctor, my friend (Juan) was bitten by a snake, what's the best thing to do?

Doctor: immediately suck where the place was bitten, hurry up

Juan: did you call the doctor?

Pedro: yes I did

Juan: what he said?

Pedro: the doctor said you will eventually die

Pedro opted his friend to die than sucking his private part

What do you call an 80 year old cheerleader?
An old yeller.
Who invented the first airplane that couldn’t take off?
The Wrong Brothers.
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon Hood.
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in a open foyer.
What do you call a factory that only makes decent products?
A satisfactory.
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?
A Father-In-Law.

‍♂️
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table but the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."

Man replied: "Naah.. She just arrived in the restaurant..!" 🤣

all are funny

Thats Funny Julie,more more

Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year,

And every year Ken would say,

'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied,

'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,

And fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

One year Ken and Edna went to the fair,



and Ken said,

'Edna, I'm 75 years old.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'

To this, Edna replied,

"Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!

But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.

I'm impressed!'

Ken replied,

'Well, to tell you the truth,

I almost said something when Edna fell out,

But you know,

"Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

Funny story.

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump!

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable!

Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"

You always come up with new Jokes and Stories .
I Now doubt You have a Showroom for Jokes.. ihihihihii.

hahaha,thanks for dropping by anyway.

What happens when a cow doesn’t shave?
It grows a moostache.
Why was the robot so sleepy after her road trip?
She had a hard drive.
What’s a mummy’s favorite food to eat?
Wraps.
How do trees get access to the internet?
Easy, they just log in.

wow.funny Julie

How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.

Why did the girl sit on the clock?
So she could be on time.
What’s a chiropractor’s favorite genre of music?
Hip hop.
Why didn’t the lamp sink in the water?
Because it was too light.
How is life like toilet paper?
You’re either on a roll or taking crap from someone.
How much money does a skunk have?
One scent.

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What branch of the military accepts newborns?
The infantry.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
Dam.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
What do you call the hen that regularly counts her eggs?
A mathmachicken.

Good One
JulieABush

FUNNY