What do you get when you spell Subaru backwards?
UR A BUS.

NICE

Somes are Shops Too



()()

thats nice

A little boy was waiting for his
mother to come out of the grocery
store. As he waited, he was
approached by a man who asked,
"Son, can you tell me where the Post
Office is"...?
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go
straight down this street a couple of
blocks and turn to your right"...
The man thanked the boy kindly and
said, "I'm the new pastor in town...
I'd like for you to come to church on
Sunday...
I'll show you how to get to Heaven"...
The little boy replied with a chuckle.
"Awww, How can u do that?
You don't even know the way to the
Post Office"...

no.3 Joke
My Chinese friend got really sick!

One day
I had to go to hospital to see him
He just kept whispering
"Chin You Yahhh" Over and over
Again then finally died!
I was very sad and Googled his last words after the burial
Apparently it means
"You're standing on my oxygen tube"

My girlfriend asked me to give her a compliment this morning.
You have an awesome boyfriend , I replied!!

hahaha.

C'mon say you liked that one !!!

My wife wanted me to take her out . I said , I don't like going out with married women .... I could hear her screaming "but I am your wife" ... as I headed over to my favourite pub !!!!

Heya Slim u made me laugh on both....the first was really expected that it can be true with you,Like those jokes Buddy

Funny .

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,
“You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?”
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
ctto

This one...

haha,enjoy a good laugh Jaan_Doh,thanks for getting into this thread.

NICE

Wife is unsharp Knife always on husband neck

haha,why u know Robin?got a wife now?

No,
but sharp cutters, known as girlfriends
tc.

Funny .

A Polish man moved to the USA and
married an American girl. Although
his English was far from perfect, they
got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and
asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce
would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following
questions:
L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and a nice
little home.
L: No, I mean what is the foundation
of this case?
P: It is made of concrete.
L: I don't think you understand. Does
either of you have a real grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need
one.
L: I mean, what are your relations
like?
P: All my relations are still in Poland.
L: Is there any infidelity in your
marriage?
P: We have a hi-fidelity stereo and a
good DVD player.
L: Does your wife beat you up?
P: No, I am always up before her.
L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She is going to kill me.
L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.
L: What kind of proof?
P: She is going to poison me. She
buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in
bathroom. I can read and it say:
"Polish Remover".
ctto

•• Never, Never, Never Be Late ••

Priest's Retirement Speech

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local figure and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

Thank Goodness we Catholics have a wonderful sense of humour! I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.
I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss's wife; had sex with his boss's 17 year old daughter on numerous occasions, taken illegal drugs; had several homosexual affairs; was arrested several times for public nudity and gave VD to his sister-in-law. I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things. But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, in deed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived, full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived, said the politician. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.

Moral:
Never, Never, Never Be Late 🤣🤣🤣