hope you never misbehave and hope your child/children are never the one/s running wild in the mall or elsewhere

Even at the playground?

even at the playground there are rules to be followed. those have to do more with safety and social skills like playing nice and not fighting, using profanity to other children, or bullying.

and if you don't enforce that, believe me someone else will. no parent will allow another child to mistreat their own.

wonderful, from what I have read no one here 'needs' to scare or hurt their kids,,,,so we can all have a wonderful day

Scolding, by most definitions, is a verbal reprimand.

scolding: a harsh reproof <gave the child a sharp scolding for running into the road>

Usually kids act up because they are confused, stressed, overtired, angry...it's not simply to get away with disobeying you, there is always something going on...emotionally/mentally..so punishing them only makes them feel worse, more confused, more stressed... and they still have the problem even if you don't see it. Do you care? Do you want the child to be a stranger and not share their feelings with you? You would probably ground them for being difficult never mind. They should be robots and shut up and do as you say until they're 18 then get out of your house the next day, but they better remember you every mother's day and thank you for spanking them right?

what do you base your information on Estelle,,?

I have raised one and raising another, others here have raised children, I have also studied child development and what you are describing are symptoms of Infants and toddlers,, past the toddler stage they 'act up' for a variety of other reasons, including TESTING BOUDNARIES


which, in effect, is to see what they can get away with,,,

discipline gives them much needed boundaries for their safety and consistency for their sense of security,,,

I refuse to debate about what is not seen or ASSUME what that may or may not be.


Yes, I care, I wouldn't make any of the sacrifices I have made for my kids if I didn't and I would have taken the easier route of just letting them raise themselves instead of making difficult decisions that may temporarily cause the to be unhappy.

No, I do not want my children to be strangers, and they are not,, because they TRUST me to mean what I say and say what I mean and they know they are loved.

I would ground them if this was the discipline that had been discussed with a certain boundary that they then CHOOSE to cross, and if grounding was an effective deterrent/lesson about making healthier, safer, wiser choices. Grounding would have NEVER worked with me because going out and having things were never important to me. Different things work with different kids, and as someone else has mentioned; along with what is appropriate for THAT CHILD comes what is appropriate consequence for THAT CHOICE.

My kids have never been robots or told to shut up and do what I say, you may be projecting your personal experience that included spanking and lumping in everyone elses experiences that included spanking. As stated many times before, I raise my kids with a BALANCE, their feelings matter and so do boundaries and just as they wish me to listen to them, I need them to listen to me, its a two way street with us and they understand that as the love that it is.

My son stayed with me until he was READY to be on his own, or at least until he thought he was ready..lol. That was not at the age of 18. Though at 18 he made the choice to see what college was like and chose to try an out of state college due to internet friends he had made there. He came back home after trying it for one year and he will always be able to come home, which he knows.

It is considerate for him to think of me on special occasions as I have for him every day of his life, but its nothing I ever mandated or stressed upon him either, , he already has the consideration that I don't need to stress it.

I have also never mandate he thank me for 'spanking' him, but he has always thanked us for making the tough choices to keep him grounded and teach him discipline he sees lacking in so many of his peers.



I am sorry for whatever experience you had,, but it wasn't a result of spanking, spanking just was a part of your experience.

The topic is scolding.

Scolding can be verbal abuse. Taking apart the language to meet your personal definitions isn't addressing the topic.

Those who like to imagine the worst case scenarios of children acting up or out of control have no knowledge or understanding of non-violent parenting.

Those who suggest that children raised by non-violent means will grow up without understanding discipline or consequences also do not understand non-violent parenting.

On the side issue of spanking:

Spanking is physical abuse. It is not necessary for teaching children about discipline. It is not a necessary consequence for a child that has failed to behave or follow rules.

To suggest that there is a balance between spanking and abuse is called minimizing.

The relationship between domestic violence and how children are raised has been well documented.

I choose a path that is not popular nor convenient. It requires more effort on me as a parent. It is especially challenging for me as a single parent. It is worth my effort for my child .

The years of practicing non-violent parenting with my child are proof of the success of the method. I base my conclusions on my experience with my child.

And last:

I am grateful to (((Mariah))) and (((Estelle))) for their courage to speak out against abusive behavior against children. Being in the minority in our beliefs does not make us wrong.

we're no longer even talking about spanking we're talking about teaching children that there are consequences for their actions.

children act up for a variety of reasons. does the reason make misbehavior acceptable?
no it doesn't. it teaches one to make excuses rather than be accountable for their actions.

that would be like me being a biotch to my clients because I have a pms migraine or something. that wouldn't make the misbehavior acceptable. id be fired on the spot

it is not possible to determine what is 'necessary' for every child in every circumstance

yes, verbal abuse CAN include scolding, but that doesn't mean tat scolding is the SAME AS Verbal abuse

the topic is only discussed from a personal perception which is how everyone here is addressing it, by their personal definitions

those who insist their way of parenting (with or without spanking) is the only way have no understanding of how diverse children can be,,


spanking is not ABUSE, again that is a personal definition,,

by definition Abuse and violence both involve the intent of harm,, which spanking done in love does not involve,,

explaining the difference between spanking and abuse is called using a dictionary,,,,lol

and your choice is fine for you, if it is part of a balanced approach for your kids that makes them feel loved and secure while teaching them about boundaries, choices, and consequences,,

I wont berate it or question it or insist upon reprimanding you for that choice,,,

I agree, domestic VIOLENCE (again not the same as disciplinary spanking) has been CORRELATED to child rearing

but there is no direct causal connection between spanking and domestic violence

you choose what works for yours as do the millons who incorporate spanking have for their

we all make the effort for our children

so it would be nice if others would get off of their reprimanding high horses and allow parents who are no less of a parent for their choices to make their own choices as well, without the ridiculous analogies to abusiveness andviolence

th years of practice with your child is proof of success for YOUR child not every child. I have no problem with you sharing what worked with your kid, I do take issue with making the assumption that you can insist what works with every child or what doesn't,

I am scared for Estelle because I don't feel she has a grasp of parenting,,,,

I am grateful to dreamer and others for putting the BALANCE in the discussion and avoiding the emotional fingerpointing,,,

If anyone ever tries to scold/spank/hurt my child they will have to face some serious consequences.

then please make sure it doesn't effect others. I have turned around while in a booth at a restaurant to tell an unruly and screaming child to sit down after kicking the back of the booth or messing with our person and the parent did nothing.

You make it the public's business when it effects the public and the parent doesn't parent

Silence is golden
Duct tape is silver.

I've seen camo and other prints

And are spoiled. Parenting faux pas at its finest.

Thank you sir. I appreciate the kind words.

the topic is about disciplining children in public.

when children misbehave in public their behavior affects those around them.

there are rules and expectations of social behavior and consequences.

any parent who doesn't want the public to intervene and correct their child needs to be accountable for that child's behavior. first by being a positive role model. second by teaching them about expectations, limits and responsibility.

if as a parent they fail to address misbehavior that affects others, they have no cause to complain when another person intervenes.
especially if that misbehavior poses a potential danger to those it affects.

My child will never act up in such a way because she will be brought up with class and know how to behave like a human being. Is this concept so hard for some parents to grasp? I always see the most unruly kids are either being completely neglected or they are being scolded and spanked.