Well , the last forum in parenting I posted was a hit I'm glad we all have our loyalty to our children. Now, I'm hit you with more hot tea. Okay, we all seen this, have you ever been outside in a public place like the supermarket or at a dog park or even watching a well known person how they discipline there young. You watch how some parents seem to be fed up with a terrible two or a defiant child and spank or curse & holler at the poor little person. Well, I see publics spanking to be a little extreme why embarrass a child & teaches fear , intimidation & violence. Others say the time out effect has no barring on kids today. love & reason some may but it.Then again every parent has there own way of handling there child. Which side of this parenting coin are you in. My questions is when do the margin line begin & end between public abuse & himuliation to just old fashion parenting & what measures do you take to gain control of your position as " I'm the Parent , you'll the child now stop"? Give me your thoughts & Please Speak your minds. If you believe in old fashion discipline then that's how you see it. But if you not with all the drama of scaring your child some may say, then stand your ground & express that too. okay much love to all.....Later!

First of all my kids are grown and have kids of their own. As far as my kids yes I did spank them. But, spanking in public no I don't believe in that. I only had to threaten mine if they acted up, we would leave and as soon as we got home they would get a spanking.

And the only place I spanked mine if they needed it was on the butt. Actually never had to spank my daughter, but now my son was a different story...

And I'm the same way with my grand kids. If they act up I would pop their butts..

sticking to the title... no scolding in public is NOT abuse

you need to take action at the time - if a child is acting up, you cannot ignore it simply because you are in a public place. Naturally, then the child will always act up in a public place because they know you will do nothing.

It's a hassle but taking the child back to the car is probably best. In the car you can say what you need to say - either that you have had enough and the day is over and back to home you go. Or you lay out very clearly what you expect as good behaviour and that if you don't get that behaviour then you will be ending the day out.

If you are needing groceries it's a hard call - but going home without their goodies is also a good lesson for the child.

every child is different

in our household growing up we were prepared for growing up,,

there were 4 primary lessons:

1. With privilege comes responsibility
2. with responsibility comes authority
3 every choice has a consequence
4. parents had earned the most privilege and held the most responsibility in the house so they set the rules, each one has consequence when broken


there were some offenses spanking worthy: choosing them is choosing the spanking

there were other offenses that were worthy of grounding : You make the choice, you suffer the consequence

we always had choice

as far as in public,, there was always a bathroom we could retreat to


offenses were dealt with upon discovery,,,

I follow the same suit with my own children

if they are doing something to warrant a spanking in public, than they shall get a public spanking...

but most of the time, i never really saw a reason to do this...my kids are very well behaved

I see way too many spoiled kids acting up in public as their parents just stand there and ignore it... way too PC for my taste

My sons got spanked right there on the spot.. if that is what they deserved. What they learned was that misbehaving was going to lead to a spanking..and then ordered up to their rooms to think about what they had done. so they learned not to do that.. (i.e...lesson in right from wrong).

They grew up just fine.

BTW...Their kids. if they act up... get spanked.. right there on the spot by either parent.

As I did too when I was a kid.

And we're all just fine.

behavior needs to be addressed when it occurs.
my 5 year old nephew is known to act up when he is in public with my sister (his mom).
she threatens to do something but it doesn't help.
what it doed is annoy or even worry the people around him. he's accident prone when he fools around.
I have no problem embarrassing him in public.
last summer he was horsing around on the bleachers while we were trying to watch a softball game. when he fell it scared the heck out of us. on purpose I laughed and said do it again because I missed it the first time. my nephew became indignant and forgot he was about to cry.
a lady in the bleachers told me I'm so mean. a dad in the bleachers said he does the same thing. embarrassment keeps his kid from crying where sympathy will make the child act like he broke an arm and both legs.

oh by the way it only took doing this once for him to know if he earns a spanking in public, he (or any of the kids in the family) they will get a swift smack on the rear in front of anybody watching.

I don't believe in using violence or intimidation on children. If my child acts up I have to work with her. It takes cooperation to raise a child, from both ends. She is 10 months old but she already does little things that piss me off, it's normal she is a child. And guess what? I do things that make her mad too, parents are not always right. The important thing to remember is I am her example and she needs my guidance, she will guide me to guide her, but I am wise to see where she is going so it's ok. Punishment doesn't teach anything.

I agree I have two sons, my oldest is 16 & my youngest is 12 and I never use the rod. I did give them time out or take away a desire of there's. my mother spanked me and my siblings and that keep us in line but I see it like kids today aren't afraid of the rod anymore. there mentality is " hey mom we killing cops & each other so we defiantly aren't afraid of that piece of leather in your hand". so , my way of dealing with that is talking to my kids and telling them I have to punish you for defiance or acting a fool. I love you its killing me I have to do this but let's not forget what you did was wrong and you grounded for however long. and you know, my kids are doing great, I have a clear communication with them, & I don't fear they would hide anything from me. they feel safe, loved, and dad is dad and I can't disrespect that.

..wait till shes older...lol


discipline teaches quite a bit about consequence,, which is a very important lesson in life

I agree with you too, I hate to see parent I witness cuss and scream at there child in public like there was grown people. I even seen a lady grip her son by the neck and threw him on the ground took a belt and there it was . It was quite disturbing...but I guess she felt like that her way dealing with the child. I thought was too extreme.

to eric22t I love how you put that you a good dad gold star for you....!

to " Foursure" well, I see your point.....
I guess some kids need that

for " Msharmony" I love you...you keep it straight to the point. you a good mom too gold star for you too and I notice you been following my forums I appreciate your feed back please continue......

ty

you ask interesting questions,, please continue as well,,

I agree that this was extreme and uncalled for. That said (IMO) there is a difference in scolding vs screaming and cussing. Also there is a difference in spanking and whooping a child with a belt, etc.

I did spank my son (24 yrs old now) and would set him straight if he acted up. We always had a great relationship. He is my best friend even now. He is a great kid even now. I always explained why he was being disciplined and made sure he knew I loved him and I was disciplining him to teach him that actions have consequences and to learn from that.

Even though we are best friends and can talk to each other now, he knows I'm mom first

Good subject BTW

for "yellow Rose" well, I think that's great you have a great mom/son relationship. so its safe to say you rod the child & he came out to be the man you dreamed your son to be. a very successful, respectful, and a stand up individual. I don't judge parents that do that measure of discipline. especially if you a re a single parent, you want to maintain order in your household & our children. you a great parent that showed you cared enough for your son to save him. too many of our children been denied a parent or parents to straighten them out and later they become criminals , or they find that parental figure with the wrong people. I had one of my sons guy friend told me I saw how you treat ( !@#$$%) my son name and told me I whish I had a dad like you. someone who just gave a damn. I was touched but I assured him that " I'm sorry you going thru a absentee father but don't let that be your downfall. make a success of the cards life dealt with you and if you need a surrogate father Fars as advice or sleep over I want to be there for you.

I believe we sometimes oversimplify to make understanding easier.

I have also heard information on both sides, that physical discipline rears violent kids and that it rears better behaved kids

but I think that's kind of like saying watermelon is good for you, if you only eat watermelon,, you will be off balance and suffer consequences

I think its too the case with physical discipline, when children have parents who only pay negative attention to them and only engae them to deliver physical discipline,, they are gonna be off balance and grow up angry and violent

just like parents who do nothing but coddle and provide and never discipline, are more likely to raise entitled and self absorbed children

,,its about Balance,, don't you think?

I correct my kids right when and where they misbehave. Be it a spanking or not. Depends on what they've done. There is a big difference in disciplining and abusing. Screaming and cursing is Abuse. Grabbing by the neck is abuse. Spanking your child in my opinion is not abuse unless you take it too far. Public or not doesn't change anything in my opinion.